coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: Emperor Zod: Ace Reporter
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2013/09/emperor-zod-ace-reporter.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Wednesday, September 18, 2013. Emperor Zod: Ace Reporter. Teen wunderkind and all around nice kid Zodrick Brundlebunk got out of school at precisely 3:25 pm. The earnest and intelligent lad stuffed his most important possessions into his trusty knapsack: a few pencils, a notepad, and his primary instrument of mayhem, a laptop. Colin Kaepernick (Emperor Zod) was quoted on Tuesday as saying: "I got mugged by the 12th Man in Seat...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: Hero Worship (An Obituary)
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2009/03/hero-worship-obituary.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Saturday, March 21, 2009. Hero Worship (An Obituary). One day my father said this: "I wish you were never born." We were enemies, you see. His father, Albert, never took much active interest in him. So when my dad, Tyler, joined the Boy Scouts, he went to meetings and campouts with his best friend and his father. As a result, when I was born, he promised himself he'd make a better father. When he ate lunchmeat late at night an...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: September 2002
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2002_09_01_archive.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Tuesday, September 24, 2002. Mean Green Cookiecutting Machine. A cute woman representing the Raddison hotel came to the front desk today with literature and rates for the hotel. She also brought a complimentary gift. It's green plastic cookie cutter, Christmas tree shaped. It has the Raddison's addresses and phone numbers on it. What is the thinking on this promotional item? I'll bet it's gone already. I'm not sure if Dolores ...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: January 2003
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2003_01_01_archive.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Friday, January 31, 2003. The Fat Lady Sings. Tell me loud, tell me clear, aching troubles, gnawing fears. Stand aside, let traffic pass. Watch the world and fade from here. I'm just trying to do my very best. Goodbye constant readers. I'll be coming around the mountain when I can. 5:49 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm. Wednesday, January 29, 2003. To Be Born Again. In Another Time. In Another Place. On Another Face. So there I a...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: Zod's 2011 Almanac
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2012/06/zods-2011-almanac.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Wednesday, June 20, 2012. History is written by the winners." - George Orwell. It's time for me to arrogantly gloat, perhaps prematurely, and meanwhile provide an unofficial history of the inaugural year of this fine league. This, of course, means liberal quoting of myself. Also, quite possibly, you. Whom am I addressing here? Well, ask yourself one question: Am I a loser? Round 1: 10 of the first 16 picks are running backs...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: BEG FOR MERCY II: The Wrath Of Zod!
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2013/08/beg-for-mercy-ii-wrath-of-zod.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Sunday, August 11, 2013. BEG FOR MERCY II: The Wrath Of Zod! BEG FOR MERCY: Emperor Zod's Draft Review - August 2011. Zod's 2011 Almanac - December 2011. Emperor Zod's Draft Review. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Wait, that's not right. Strike that, let me start over. Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the. Nope. Still wrong. What is all this science fiction bullshit? What do those mean? So how sha...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: November 2002
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2002_11_01_archive.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Wednesday, November 27, 2002. Slippery Slopes Of Fondue Mountain. My little sister is always good to get slightly drunk with, so I'll probably indulge with her when everyone has gone to nap on Thanksgiving night. The next day we're heading north to Milwaukee to see Counting Crows. They're a guilty pleasure of mine. 2:34 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm. Thursday, November 21, 2002. I've been thinking about advertisements lately, ...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: The Zod Abides
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-zod-abides.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Sunday, October 05, 2014. There's a fella I wanna tell you about, a fella goes by the name o' Zod. Now, that's a name no self-respecting fella applies to himself, least not where I come from. But the Zod he is, was, and shall be. By his own choice no less. Sure, he's a peculiar cat, this Zod, and maybe that's why I found him so darned interestin'. Before slamming his fist on the bar top. I do not belong here. Plain and sim...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: Now I Break
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2014/05/now-i-break.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Thursday, May 08, 2014. Another filling escaped one of my tooth prisons a few moments ago. This loss is no mere chunk of tin. This one is symbolic. I hadn't been to the dentist in three years and I deserved every last bit of agony for my negligence. But still. So here I sit, one molar hollowed out and packed full of temporary bullshit, awaiting a permanent crown, and of course another tooth decides to disintegrate on me. I've ...
coffeerocket.blogspot.com
Tinfoil Viking Science: BEG FOR MERCY
http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com/2011/08/beg-for-mercy.html
Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged. Wednesday, August 31, 2011. Emperor Zod's Draft Review. It ain't easy being a megolomaniacal Kryptonian general. I should know. I spent ages imprisoned in the Phantom Zone, a harsh sentence issued by my former friend, Jor-El. Upon escaping and discovering Krypton had been reduced to interstellar rubble, only one avenue of vengeance remained to me. This is how a deity drafts. I present to you: The Art Of (Draft) War. 1 Quarterb...
