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I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Step Seven: Abstract & Poetic

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/04/step-seven-abstract-poetic.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. Step Seven: Abstract and Poetic. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.". Spiritual principle associated with this step: Humility]. Me and my unbelieving self had a problem. My concept of a higher power, at this point, was still, shall we say, vaguely-defined. Going back to step three, where I “. Turned my will and my life over to the care of god as I understood him. Instead of just reading other’s translati...

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: The Big Lie

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/04/big-lie-i-thought-it-made-me-stronger.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. I thought it made me stronger. I thought it made me happier. I thought it made me better. I thought I found the answer. I thought I found freedom. I thought I found myself. I thought I should stop. I thought I would stop. I thought I could stop. It became my everything. It became my reason. It became my life. It became my enemy. It became my prison. It became my grave. I’m Maze. I’m an addict. An Ugly, Ugly Night.

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Rumblestrips Ahead!

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/03/rumblestrips-ahead.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. Nine years ago I discovered rumblestrips. My life was changed forever. Seriously. Do you know what a rumblestrip is? I was driving around DC and came upon a sign that said, “Rumblestrips Ahead.” What the hell is a rumblestrip? My rumblestrips come by way of other people’s comments, my conscience, information gathered, something I read, but most often from my own intuition. Another rumblestrip during my teenage years was my...

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2014/11/how-light-gets-in.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN. 8220;There is a crack, a crack in everything… that’s how the light gets in, that’s how the light gets in.”. 8211; Leonard Cohen. Statue by Paige Bradley, "Expansion". Why is it so hard allow others to know when I’m struggling? What does that even mean? 8220;What I’m supposed. 8221; There is no such thing as supposed to. The solution, what if I don’t know what the solution is. In the book, Living Clean.

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Hold On

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/10/hold-on.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. I once heard a Pueblo blessing:. Hold onto what is good, even if it is a handful of earth. Hold onto what you believe, even if it is a tree which stands by itself. Hold onto what you must do, even if it is a long way from here. Hold onto life, even when it is easier letting go. Hold onto my hand, even when I have gone away from you. Hold onto what is good, even it it is a handful of earth. Hold on and joy will return. ...

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Step Six: Authenticity

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/04/step-six-authenticity.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. We became entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.". Spiritual principle associated with this step: Willingness]. The result of working the sixth step? Knowing I no longer needed a permanent escape route from life. Knowing I could be fully present for my life and not disassociate at will. Knowing I have talent and skills and they are worthy enough for others to gaze upon and appreciate.

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Step Nine

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/05/step-nine.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. We make direct amends to such people, except when to do so would injure them or others. Spiritual principle associated with this step: Justice]. I find the spiritual principle associated with this step - justice - more difficult to wrap my mind around than I do the actual step. At first glance, the step seems easy - start apologizing to everyone I identified in the eighth step. How hard can that be? What does that mean?

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Step 8

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/04/step-8.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. 8220;We made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”. Spiritual principle(s) associated with this step: Forgivenss, humility, honesty, willingness, self-awareness, love]. In the third grade I called Coach Kraft, “Coach Crap.” I got in trouble for it at home and at school, so shouldn’t that give it a pass and keep it off my list? Wouldn’t that keep him off the list? I Aint No Savior.

soulheartbeat.blogspot.com

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict.: Paranoia Will Destroia

http://soulheartbeat.blogspot.com/2008/04/paranoia-will-destroia.html

I'm Maze. I'm an Addict. A glimpse into my journey through addiction and recovery. I'm surprised I haven't been busted, raped, ambushed or murdered in the last ten years. I don't remember the last time I even worried about being busted, raped, ambushed or murdered. I used to worry about it a lot. Every day. All day long. For real. I'm not kidding. What's wrong, Maze? Someone is in my house. Someone is trying to kill me.". Someone is in there! This is what I told Scott. I locked the door behind him. Aweso...