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Jervism: Laserquesting with Children
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010/06/laserquesting-with-children.html
The reception area doubled up as a viewing gallery and café. On the walls were film posters – Saving Private Ryan. Enemy At The Gates. And I noticed that the food they were selling was suspiciously child orientated as it mainly involved crisps and various types of brightly coloured pop. My worries were soon confirmed when what seemed like a hundred kids turned up whooping and yelling, obviously wild with enthusiasm at the thought of being able to shoot each other with realistic looking weapons. 8216;Shot...
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Jervism: 4 Ads
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010/08/4-ads.html
It begins with a generic housewife distraught over some kind of spillage. Luckily, she’s suddenly rescued from her despair by a man dressed vaguely like a bullfighter who quickly cleans everything up with just one sheet of kitchen roll. ‘I am Juan Sheet,’ he declares in a crap Spanish accent. See what they’ve done there? In a Spanish accent that sounds like one sheet. No, it doesn’t. Benicio Del Torro. What on earth is he doing peddling ice-lollies? He can’t need the money, surely? Bill Hicks said someth...
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Jervism: October 2010
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html
How to be a Henchman. If there’s a lake full of crocodiles or a handy snake pit, always loiter nearby. This will enable the hero to casually punch you into it as he runs past. If you’re still alive when the gunfight eventually starts, try to stand on something that’s high up. That way, you can plunge to your death after getting shot. Always flap your arms and scream when plunging. Unless, of course, there’s a sequel. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). 100 Words (August '10). 100 Words (March '09).
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Jervism: The Obligatory Spooky Article
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010/04/obligatory-spooky-article.html
The Obligatory Spooky Article. I can see that pylon from my car. Directly in front of me is Pearoyd Bridge where two security guards encountered a cloaked, faceless man who disappeared when they shone their torches on him. The time is 11.42pm and it’s been five minutes since a vehicle passed. I’m beginning to regret coming here alone. It’s a reminder that no matter how unremarkable a place may seem - whether it’s the town you live in or the road you drive to work on, everywhere is steeped in ...
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Jervism: February 2010
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html
Versions of an Event. The company accountant is everything you’d imagine an accountant to be: mid 50s, stern, abrupt and very, very serious. It was the Christmas work’s do and the rest of us sat around feeling the customary awkwardness of having to socialise with people we wouldn’t normally choose to. Not the accountant though. He’d already drunk way too much. In the restaurant before we somehow ended up in the student area of the city in a bar that was far too trendy for the likes of us. We braved the g...
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Jervism: What's In A Name
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010/09/whats-in-name.html
What's In A Name. But, at the age of 35 when most people are putting Mr. This week, I start University. Aside from all the people on my course there’ll be housemates and lots of new people to meet in social situations – all of which I’ll have to introduce myself to. I’ve faced this sort of situation before when travelling and the introductory conversation was always hideously confusing. 8216;I’m Jerv,’ I’d say. 8216;Sorry, you’re what? 8216;Jerv.’. 8216;No, Jerv. J.E.R.V.’. As content as I am to abandon ...
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Jervism: Mills and Boon
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010/05/as-part-of-experiment-in-writing.html
As part of an experiment in writing Romantic Fiction, I watched the excellent BBC4 documentary: How to Write a Mills and Boon. In it, Stella Duffy met authors, publishers and readers to get advice on what she needed to do to adapt her style to fit the requirements of a Mills and Boon. Another said that when she attended public school, the books were passed around among the girls like contraband. Having read one myself as research, I can understand why. I thought, 'how can they live with themselves? Dilem...
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Jervism: April 2010
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html
Not this time however - this time it would be different. Instead of fighting against my hair’s natural waves I was going to go with them; I was going to embrace the curls. I’d been on my feet all day in heavy walking boots and was now exhausted. Being outside in the London air for two days also had the usual effect on my body; making my eyes sore and my throat dry. I arrived early and went to the station’s Marks and Spencers. I opted to eat the salad with my fingers, struggling to maintain an air of dign...
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Jervism: How to be a Henchman
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010/10/how-to-be-henchman.html
How to be a Henchman. If there’s a lake full of crocodiles or a handy snake pit, always loiter nearby. This will enable the hero to casually punch you into it as he runs past. If you’re still alive when the gunfight eventually starts, try to stand on something that’s high up. That way, you can plunge to your death after getting shot. Always flap your arms and scream when plunging. Unless, of course, there’s a sequel. 18 October 2010 at 14:22. Haha, what have you been watching? 100 Words (August '10).
jervism.blogspot.com
Jervism: May 2010
http://jervism.blogspot.com/2010_05_01_archive.html
As part of an experiment in writing Romantic Fiction, I watched the excellent BBC4 documentary: How to Write a Mills and Boon. In it, Stella Duffy met authors, publishers and readers to get advice on what she needed to do to adapt her style to fit the requirements of a Mills and Boon. Another said that when she attended public school, the books were passed around among the girls like contraband. Having read one myself as research, I can understand why. I thought, 'how can they live with themselves? Dilem...
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