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Tales of a Do-Nothing

Lifestyle blog: dropping altruism for the superficial. Workaholic leaving normal life for the "reality" life. Champagne & hijinks. Snark & Satire.

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Tales of a Do-Nothing | jkesgard.com Reviews
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Lifestyle blog: dropping altruism for the superficial. Workaholic leaving normal life for the reality life. Champagne & hijinks. Snark & Satire.
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1 locker room rules
2 weight room rules
3 or eternal shitpants
4 cardio rules
5 pool rules
6 bonus tip
7 posted by
8 j kesgard
9 no comments
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Tales of a Do-Nothing | jkesgard.com Reviews

https://jkesgard.com

Lifestyle blog: dropping altruism for the superficial. Workaholic leaving normal life for the "reality" life. Champagne & hijinks. Snark & Satire.

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1

Tales of a Do-Nothing: March 2014

http://jkesgard.com/2014_03_01_archive.html

Tales of a Do-Nothing. Creative whims of a lazy almost-celebrity."- J. Kesgard. Thursday, March 6, 2014. I'm an Expert Dieter Now. and You Can Be One, Too! I mean, here I was following a plan to the letter and dropping the fat poundage like cray cray (70 lbs! When I suddenly realized a terrible truth: what happens to all my new friends when I finish losing the weight? Oops, sorry, *loosing* the weight. There, that's better. Anyway, who will I be able to whine to about my constant hunger? Just for you, my...

2

Tales of a Do-Nothing: Vampire Babies Hunger For Your Blood

http://jkesgard.com/2013/07/vampire-babies-hunger-for-your-blood.html

Tales of a Do-Nothing. Creative whims of a lazy almost-celebrity."- J. Kesgard. Sunday, July 21, 2013. Vampire Babies Hunger For Your Blood. For once I wish my postal carrier would lose my mail on purpose. This shocking follow-up to my now school-required reading, Corporate America is Trying to Impregnate Me! Realistic recreation of vampire baby. This country has been blinded by political ridiculousness. Who cares about racism and homophobia, the war against religion, the moral realignment of women's...

3

Tales of a Do-Nothing: Springtime In Portlandia, Part Two

http://jkesgard.com/2014/08/springtime-in-portlandia-part-two.html

Tales of a Do-Nothing. Creative whims of a lazy almost-celebrity."- J. Kesgard. Friday, August 15, 2014. Springtime In Portlandia, Part Two. This entry is a continuation of the exciting mystery serial begun in Springtime In Portlandia, Part One. If today's entry doesn't make any sense to you, it's probably because you didn't read the first part. Duh. We know how to party up in the VIP. WHAT? The Fortissimo and Vibrato from Vitis Ridge. The Sublime from Silver Falls Vineyards. To continue my enjoyment of ...

4

Tales of a Do-Nothing: Wrestling With Greatness

http://jkesgard.com/2015/01/wrestling-with-greatness.html

Tales of a Do-Nothing. Creative whims of a lazy almost-celebrity."- J. Kesgard. Friday, January 23, 2015. Aww yeah, I got swagger, yo. I choked myself out from the tedium. I soon stopped watching altogether. More than a decade went by when during yet another night with a terrible Saturday Night Live. Episode poisoning my brain, I had my manager change the TV channel. What we found while surfing was life-changing: the West Coast Wrestling Connection. Ashton Vuitton catwalks on Mikey O'Shea. The venue wher...

5

Tales of a Do-Nothing: This Week in Gresham

http://jkesgard.com/2015/03/this-week-in-gresham.html

Tales of a Do-Nothing. Creative whims of a lazy almost-celebrity."- J. Kesgard. Thursday, March 5, 2015. This Week in Gresham. Looking to go out-and-about in fabulous Gresham this week and just don't know where to start? Have no fear, you only need to take a look at our new comprehensive guide to discover the hottest happenings in Portland's stylish suburb paradise. NEW PUBLIC ART INSTALLATION. Local artist reminiscent of international icon Banksy. Hours: All, Sun-Sat. Bark while in park. Other: Squirrel...

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Tales of a Do-Nothing

Tales of a Do-Nothing. Creative whims of a lazy almost-celebrity."- J. Kesgard. Friday, March 2, 2018. You're Doing It Wrong: Follow These Expert Gym Rules Today! Leg machines are for selfies ONLY. Hey, it's me! I did do some Timbers snarktography and other contributions last year, but it's been a long time since my last actual Do Nothing post. At the time I posted Area Woman Disappears, Reappears. Learned so your learning curve won't be quite as steep. You're welcome. Don't use a locker. Your bag go...

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