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Vodka And Chips | Read Only In Moderation

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Vodka And Chips | Read Only In Moderation | jmitich.wordpress.com Reviews
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2 finance expert
3 chase moneyhumper
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5 the milwaukee urinal
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Vodka And Chips | Read Only In Moderation | jmitich.wordpress.com Reviews

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1

the booby text | Vodka And Chips

https://jmitich.wordpress.com/2009/09/17/the-booby-text

Read Only In Moderation. Texting is not my medium. Texting is my frustration. I am a very, very poor texter. There are numerous reasons for this. Foremost, is my fingers. I’m pretty sure that they are retarded. They don’t work well in small spaces. They also get fatigued quite easily, producing a cramping sensation. In addition, I think I may have only one opposable thumb. Sex In The City. Theme song. I choose the. Sex In The City. The Chunk and my “special” fingers aside, I have no excuse fo...Kate is f...

2

May | 2009 | Vodka And Chips

https://jmitich.wordpress.com/2009/05

Read Only In Moderation. I didn’t know what to do. Do I tell her about the nip and save her further embarrassment or do I let the poor nipple walk into the wild exposed and endangered? She seemed like a sweet woman, but society had rules. I had a nipple dilemma. My mind racing, I thought of possible ways of breaking the nipple news. Possible Ways Of Telling The Elevator Woman that her nipple is showing. 2 Use non verbal communicaton. Take off my shirt and silently point to my right breast. Frown. Through...

3

the rules of unemployment | Vodka And Chips

https://jmitich.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/the-rules-of-unemployment

Read Only In Moderation. The rules of unemployment. I am unemployed. I have been for the last four weeks. In those four weeks I have learned much about myself and even more about daytime television. My most prominent realization is that looking for work is a job in itself. A really, really easy job. A job with no boss, no responsibilities, and consistent access to frozen pizzas and a toilet with magazines. Rule #1: Under no circumstances will I menstruate. I’ve been told that when women spend time ...

4

March | 2009 | Vodka And Chips

https://jmitich.wordpress.com/2009/03

Read Only In Moderation. Lentil soup gives me pungent gas – and other things i should never say out loud. There was absolutely no logical reason why I needed to tell last night’s dinner party that lentil soup might give me pungent gas. Yet the thought prominently crossed my mind as I precariously sipped the soup of flatulence. Thankfully, I kept my mouth shut. It was a Monday and I was being painfully normal. It begins, as most horrible Monday mornings do, with the much maligned alarm clock. It’s s...

5

the breath of death | Vodka And Chips

https://jmitich.wordpress.com/2009/07/25/the-breath-of-death

Read Only In Moderation. The breath of death. Sally Gund, my sweet, mild mannered, middle aged co-worker, has shockingly awful breath. It’s the kind of breath that breaks up a marriage. A breath that you think is a foot. A breath so alarming, so relentless, and so powerful, that last Tuesday, in one of the most bizarre moments of my life, I attended a twenty five minute work meeting discussing it. Last Tuesday morning, at work, I received the following email. Subject: You hate my breath. With my giant, p...

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Read Only In Moderation. Moneyhumper, mcdicky, and mitich. It is down to two. After soul-searching, after spiritual meditation, after exhaustive internet research, after realizing that to become a major league baseball manager you need to have actually played baseball after 7th grade, I have narrowed down my next career path to two different fields. The finalists:. 1 I will get a Masters in Finance with a specialization in Investment Management. 2 I will write poop and pee pee jokes. I need an answer.

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