JOEBLAIR.WORDPRESS.COM

Joe Blair

I’m nodding as I dial the kitchen manager. There is no answer. You know which lowboy was making noise? The big guy looks where I’m pointing. Take some time. And I say no. The day I start sitting around is the day you’ll have me carried out feet first. And I’m serious. That’s just how I am. I can’t just sit around. The big guy has moved on to talking about how his wife wants to buy more than one of everything. She buy like four can openers. And I’m like, why you need this can opener? And walk for me?

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Joe Blair | joeblair.wordpress.com Reviews

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I’m nodding as I dial the kitchen manager. There is no answer. You know which lowboy was making noise? The big guy looks where I’m pointing. Take some time. And I say no. The day I start sitting around is the day you’ll have me carried out feet first. And I’m serious. That’s just how I am. I can’t just sit around. The big guy has moved on to talking about how his wife wants to buy more than one of everything. She buy like four can openers. And I’m like, why you need this can opener? And walk for me?

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8 little whiskers

9 like a fumanchu

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Joe Blair | joeblair.wordpress.com Reviews

https://joeblair.wordpress.com

I’m nodding as I dial the kitchen manager. There is no answer. You know which lowboy was making noise? The big guy looks where I’m pointing. Take some time. And I say no. The day I start sitting around is the day you’ll have me carried out feet first. And I’m serious. That’s just how I am. I can’t just sit around. The big guy has moved on to talking about how his wife wants to buy more than one of everything. She buy like four can openers. And I’m like, why you need this can opener? And walk for me?

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joeblair.wordpress.com

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Joe Blair – Page 4

https://joeblair.wordpress.com/page/4

Deb’s lying on the couch, shivering beneath the big down comforter I’ve thrown over her. I know I have a fever, she says. I feel her forehead with the back of my hand, the way we used to do with the kids. But sometimes my hands aren’t the best thermometers and I move my cheek down to her forehead. You don’t have a fever, I say. She says. I do have a fever! No you don’t. Maybe you have a hysterical fever. What’s that supposed to mean? Like a hysterical pregnancy, I say. Why would I have a hysterical fever?

2

The Prickus Miserablus in its Natural Habitat – Joe Blair

https://joeblair.wordpress.com/2016/12/23/the-prickus-miserablus-in-its-natural-habitat

The Prickus Miserablus in its Natural Habitat. I’m going to rip the bandage off. Rip it off like a mad doctor. Not like these other doctors with their neat little ideas about the healing process. Not me. I’m not like that. I’m going to rip the bandage off. Expose the wound. Some will say it’s gritty. Some will use the word fierce. A bold new voice. Okay Here we go now. Here we go. I’m going to tell you a story. This is how it begins. Chapter one. First sentence. And why are all of life’s calls receding?

3

Gronk Me – Joe Blair

https://joeblair.wordpress.com/2016/09/01/gronk-me

I didn’t have sex last night. But I did have a fantasy football draft. Said my wife when I got home. Good, I said. Tell me about it, she said. I’m not doing it this year. That’s what I told Scott. I told him this when we were on the golf course. Why not? After Scott missed his putt and then swore and said, How the fuck does that not go right? How does it not go right? God dammit. That’s just bullshit! No, I told Scott. I’m not doing it. Come on, he said. I’ll coach you up. I’ll coach you up before the dr...

4

Simple Jack Fixes a Dryer – Joe Blair

https://joeblair.wordpress.com/2016/12/10/simple-jack-fixes-a-dryer

Simple Jack Fixes a Dryer. It can be fixed. It’s simple. It’s only a machine. This is what you tell yourself. Maybe you’re trying to fix a clothes dryer. It’s simple, you say. It’s only a machine. It was working yesterday. And something happened. One thing happened. And now it flashes an error code on the LCD. Was he not a professional? And if not on the first time, then why not on the second, third or fourth time? Does it always take him five times to fix something? This is what I tell myself. But I...

5

Grateful Man – Joe Blair

https://joeblair.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/grateful-man

I’m nodding as I dial the kitchen manager. There is no answer. You know which lowboy was making noise? The big guy looks where I’m pointing. Take some time. And I say no. The day I start sitting around is the day you’ll have me carried out feet first. And I’m serious. That’s just how I am. I can’t just sit around. The big guy has moved on to talking about how his wife wants to buy more than one of everything. She buy like four can openers. And I’m like, why you need this can opener? And walk for me?

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Joe Blair

I’m nodding as I dial the kitchen manager. There is no answer. You know which lowboy was making noise? The big guy looks where I’m pointing. Take some time. And I say no. The day I start sitting around is the day you’ll have me carried out feet first. And I’m serious. That’s just how I am. I can’t just sit around. The big guy has moved on to talking about how his wife wants to buy more than one of everything. She buy like four can openers. And I’m like, why you need this can opener? And walk for me?

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