tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/page/2
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Hello At the last ‘event’ I was at (I do these events) (it’s a thing), someone recorded me mumblingly reading out four stories – The Spike. And most appallingly The Sequel. Ndash; so if you’ve got ten to 12 spare minutes and want to hear me say things then go ahead and press play. Thank you to Chris Lochery. He die...
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Politician
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/82783559410
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Does David Cameron know what sex is? Ldquo;It’s something poor people do to make money.” Does Nick Clegg know what sex is? Ldquo;I have put my penis inside exactly 30 women,” he says. “And no, not really.” Does Boris Johnson know what sex is? Ldquo;Something about wiffles? Am I allowed to touch my wiffle? Rdquo; An...
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Choad
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/112134262526
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Ldquo;Heh,” he said. “Look.” They were painting their living room, their first ever living room, their first ever house, and there, eight-foot high and in bright apple white, he had painted a huge, jizzing choad. Rdquo; “See! Rdquo; he said. “Even your mum knows what a choad is! They put a TV in front of it. Th...
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Threeway
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/121102540176
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Somehow, against the laws of physics and the laws of god, he had negotiated a threesome with two human women, and they were all making out sloppily in the back of an Uber. Only: hold on, are they? They are tussling over his mouth. Are— did the brunette just pinch the blonde? He was a man, mainly, with a blog.
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Movie
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/121102547801
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. MOVIE NARRATOR: He was a jock…. MOVIE NARRATOR: With a dark secret…. JOCK: That nerd died. MOVIE: She was a girl…. MOVIE: With a size 24 figure…. GIRL: I’m actually super body positive, so. MOVIE: They were from different worlds… until one day. JOHNNY: YO CAN WHALES DO SCIENCE? MOVIE NARRATOR: Love blossomed.
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Spike
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/112134488966
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Rdquo; A weak erection stirred as six firemen hoisted him limb-by-limb away from the spike. “Let,” he said, “L–et me… finish.” He jizzed, sadly, all over himself, and it was eight months of physio and a hell of a lot of pain until he walked again. Reblogged this from nastymender. Reblogged this from psshaw.
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Hacker
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/121102535846
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Reblogged this from psshaw. Reblogged this from whereskullsarebroken. Reblogged this from psshaw. Reblogged this from tinylittlelovestories. He was a man, mainly, with a blog. And with a Twitter. He drove all the ladies just fundamentally crazy. The end.
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Cheat
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/112134265826
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Yo, you ever had an affair? This dude was having an affair, so three days of the week he was hanging out with his main girlfriend and going to IKEA and rubbing her feet and doing other garbage couple shit like saying, ‘Yeah, let’s make that Jamie Oliver bolognese with the two kinds of mince! And with a Twitter.
tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com
tiny little love stories — The Condom
http://tinylittlelovestories.tumblr.com/post/112134258486
Tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that. Ldquo;Do you got a condom? Ldquo;Well is it in date? Ldquo;Yeah it’s…. it’s probably in date.”. He checked the date. It was not in date. It went out of date: literally the day before. Rdquo; he said. “ARGH! Rdquo; he said. “ARRRRRRGH! He was a man, mainly, with a blog. And with a Twitter. He drove all the ladies ju...
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