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A Picture of a Photograph: Suicide Notes To Random Acquaintances
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Monday, January 12, 2015. Suicide Notes To Random Acquaintances. I wrote this for a comedy website. Dear Facebook Friend I Only Sort Of Remember Meeting,. Yes, that's it, I'm killing myself. I can no longer take this unending misery that is existence; goodbye friend.on Facebook. You knew this was coming the one and only time I met you when you looked at me and said "nice to meet you": remember the sorrow in my eyes?
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A Picture of a Photograph: Denise Huxtable: I think NOT
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Friday, September 09, 2011. Denise Huxtable: I think NOT. Who the fuck were the Cosby show producers trying to fool? A member of the Huxtable clan? Why not make George Wallace. A black panther - it would be more believable. Hot Jew mom, sexy Black dad. Have you seen a picture? A side by side? Really be the daughter of these two people:. I doubt it. She's more like the child of Natalie Portman:. As someone who puts a lot...
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A Picture of a Photograph: June 2011
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Tuesday, June 14, 2011. Reflection of a Reflection. This is the view from outside my window. It's interesting because every time I look out the window, about 56% of it is a reflection of my living room. If that isn't a metaphor for life, I don't know what is. OK, I actually don't know what "is". Seriously. What is? In Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It's Jewish and the dry heat is good for its sciatica. While eating a vat of ...
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A Picture of a Photograph: April 2012
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Thursday, April 19, 2012. I was in the NYC area this weekend, taking a blissful repose from the everyday blah-ness that is also known as "life in LA" (for those not as hip as me, this is also known as "being stuck in traffic, screaming at no one about a lack of adequate public transportation"). As part of my family routine, I stayed for a few days with my father in Connecticut. Him: Hey, how is your movie coming? H (sud...
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A Picture of a Photograph: September 2011
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Monday, September 19, 2011. As some of you may know (or may not know - if there are "some of you" out there - which there might not be) - I am in the process of putting together a film. During that process I am keeping a blog, which I will be updating regularly - so feel free to check it out:. There's also a bunch of delicious filmy goodness contained therein - so check it out: I command you! How hard does it strike?
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A Picture of a Photograph: If Jews Ran The World:
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Monday, January 12, 2015. If Jews Ran The World:. Comedy post written for a Jewish blog. Big news out of the DNA community today! Syrians, Palestinians, and Lebanese share more. Than they do with neighboring gentile populations. Talk about your self-hating Jews! Honestly, the guy could have been Jackie Mason's angry, comically hilarious headcover-wearing brother Shlomo. They've got to share similar schlumpy DNA, no?
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A Picture of a Photograph: The New Website
http://cryingwhilemasturbating.blogspot.com/2011/09/new-website.html
A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Monday, September 19, 2011. As some of you may know (or may not know - if there are "some of you" out there - which there might not be) - I am in the process of putting together a film. During that process I am keeping a blog, which I will be updating regularly - so feel free to check it out:. There's also a bunch of delicious filmy goodness contained therein - so check it out: I command you! How hard does it strike?
cryingwhilemasturbating.blogspot.com
A Picture of a Photograph: December 2011
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Tuesday, December 27, 2011. Don't Call It A Comeback (no seriously, you shouldn't call it a comeback). Writing a blog post is a lot like sex. The longer you wait between entries, the more difficult each attempt becomes, until you're sitting in the shower, crying, wearing nothing but a sock to hide your flaccid shame. Then the smile kind of turned into a grin, which swiftly morphed into a blank expression, and then final...
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A Picture of a Photograph: So you wants to be a hipster!
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Monday, January 12, 2015. So you wants to be a hipster! I wrote this post in 2005, long before the “let's make fun of hipsters” genre became as played out as a mustache tattoo on a finger. It went viral, and was even linked to by a US poet laureate. So there's that. So you wants to be a hipster! But do you have what it takes? Sir or Madam; an emphatic no. Let us dissect these creatures. Next, you must find decent clothi...
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A Picture of a Photograph: Hey, Mind If I Add You On Facebook?
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A Picture of a Photograph. Hypothetically Monetizing My Brand For Well Over 20 Years. Monday, January 12, 2015. Hey, Mind If I Add You On Facebook? A short humor piece for my personal blog. You know my friend Will? I can't believe we're both at this party and we both know Will! I'm not sure, I think he said he was grabbing a beer. You know Will, one minute you come up to him and start complaining about your job and ask him "where the single ladies at? But never mind him! Maybe I can add them too! OK, tha...