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FERTILE: November 2014
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Tuesday, November 4, 2014. Halloween: The Big Lame-Out. Is it me, or has Halloween become more sanitized than a frigging Ebola ward? I hate to sound like an old lady, but times have changed, and not entirely for the better. We are just so freaking uptight nowadays. Completely poor taste, yes, but you have to admit, pretty creative. A Mom’s only job back then was to check for razor blades in apples and pin holes in candy bars (in case someone injected some kind of poison into them? They even have ‘t...
ferrtileblog.blogspot.com
FERTILE: July 2013
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Sunday, July 28, 2013. Talking to God in my car. Well, those of us who believed all that, anyway. Of course you're going with us. We'll just go on Christmas afternoon.". Mom" I began, feeling conflicted but also stupidly self-righteous and every bit as know-it-allish as a 23 year old with an English degree working in a hotel in her college town. I'm not going to go. I'm.I'm just not Catholic anymore.". After a stunned silence, my mother responded, "Well, of COURSE you're Catholic! For me, it's all I need.
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FERTILE: September 2014
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Monday, September 29, 2014. I’ve always been one hell of a sleeper. My favorite pastime, besides constantly bemoaning the relentlessly sticky South Louisiana humidity, is crawling into bed at night with a bag of veggie booty and passing out face down and drooling into a good book. I am still trying to figure out a way to work an 8 hour day from my bed. I think it’s absolutely possible. I spent the first two years of Lily’s life without any real, substantial sleep. That’s a big, fat lie. But I t...I had a...
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FERTILE: May 2014
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Wednesday, May 28, 2014. Lemme Stand Next To Your. Just recently I realized that every important thing that happens to me doesn't necessarily need to be shared with my parents. I know, I know, perhaps a little late at the tender age of 41, but.yeah. I'm realizing that not every milestone, be it good, bad, or terrifying, needs to be passed on to the elders. Like, say, for example, when your house catches on fire. I guess I can say I've had my metaphorical housefire-cherry broken. As a child, having my...
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FERTILE: December 2014
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Tuesday, December 2, 2014. Come check me out at. Brought to you by. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Book On A Chair. Leaving the "love palace" and ready for a change! The last 6 months. I Saw Stevie Wonder at BottleRock and My Mind Wandered to This Story. List Of The Day. Passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes. Coming soon, from Pixar…. Michael Ian Black has a blog! Please Everybody, Let's Stop Making Such a Big Deal About Sea Turtles. College Football picks week 1. Pru, Miz Deville if yer nasty.
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FERTILE: May 2011
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Friday, May 27, 2011. It's been a retardedly long time since I've updated this blog. I have been a little busy. Well, a lot busy. Also, since I've discovered twitter (username: krissyface73.follow me! And just watch the hilarity ensue! I generally only have enough energy for 140 characters worth of bullshit every day, and that has sort of satisfied my need to express myself. But I do miss you, blogger.I do. Pomp and Circumstance for 7 year olds? I know, I can hardly say it with a straight face, either.
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FERTILE: October 2014
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Thursday, October 30, 2014. More Gems from the Insult Ninja. Watch out for the Insult Ninja. She lurks behind swingsets and sits watching 'Glee' on Netflix, biding her time, just waiting for that perfect moment when you are feeling your most old or fat or disorganized, and then she pounces. BAM! I've just had my hair highlighted. My stylist went a little lighter than usual. It looks like you have more gray hairs than you normally do.". I'm having a bad reaction to something I ate. Brought to you by.
ferrtileblog.blogspot.com
FERTILE: Halloween: The Big Lame-Out
http://ferrtileblog.blogspot.com/2014/11/halloween-big-lame-out.html
Tuesday, November 4, 2014. Halloween: The Big Lame-Out. Is it me, or has Halloween become more sanitized than a frigging Ebola ward? I hate to sound like an old lady, but times have changed, and not entirely for the better. We are just so freaking uptight nowadays. Completely poor taste, yes, but you have to admit, pretty creative. A Mom’s only job back then was to check for razor blades in apples and pin holes in candy bars (in case someone injected some kind of poison into them? They even have ‘t...
ferrtileblog.blogspot.com
FERTILE: More Gems from the Insult Ninja
http://ferrtileblog.blogspot.com/2014/10/more-gems-from-insult-ninja.html
Thursday, October 30, 2014. More Gems from the Insult Ninja. Watch out for the Insult Ninja. She lurks behind swingsets and sits watching 'Glee' on Netflix, biding her time, just waiting for that perfect moment when you are feeling your most old or fat or disorganized, and then she pounces. BAM! I've just had my hair highlighted. My stylist went a little lighter than usual. It looks like you have more gray hairs than you normally do.". I'm having a bad reaction to something I ate. Brought to you by.
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FERTILE: November 2013
http://ferrtileblog.blogspot.com/2013_11_01_archive.html
Monday, November 18, 2013. I miss writing so much. It feels like I'm missing an appendage, maybe something small, like a finger.not so big like an arm or a leg. Nothing you absolutely cannot survive without, but something that makes the day to day seem easier, more fluid, somehow. Lately I have been feeling my heart pounding a little harder. I worry about high blood pressure but probably I have about ten years before that's really gonna be a problem. I probably need to slow down. Brought to you by. I'm k...
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