emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: February 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Monday, February 27, 2006. Eat Off My Floor! I love my apartment. Sure it's about as sound proof as a homeless dude's cardboard box but I still love it. The nice sized bedrooms, the big living room with the view of the backyard we don't have access to, it's great. It was just around the time that my lease was expiring and my landlord and I had agreed to renew it for another year. My roommate had just moved in that day. The phone rings. I mean, I'...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: September 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Wednesday, September 27, 2006. Sometimes I perform my written pieces for an audience. I always find this to be a little scary because with stand-up you want to get consistent laughs and if you don't, it can get a little disconcerting. But with written pieces, it's all about the journey and if it's a funny piece, you hope to get some guffaws along the way. This is a piece I did last night for the show. The theme was "Heroes and Villains":. She rem...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: October 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Tuesday, October 31, 2006. I Say Potato, You Say Orange Juice. I was on the way to Philly a few weeks ago on my favorite mode of transportation, Greyhound. (See. Http:/ emilyepstein.blogspot.com/2006/03/leaving-driving-to-us-indeed.html. With the person behind you in line. Then the "Greyhound management" decided to do bag and person check. As they searched through my bags, I asked them what they were looking for. Definitely. Baby mammas? When all...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: August 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Friday, August 25, 2006. If I ruled the world, part 85. In what was a random string of events, I ended up on a segment of Good Morning America yesterday morning. Why, Emily, that's wonderful! You may say. "It's so good to see that all your time and dedication to comedy has finally paid off. It's only onwards and- ". A side note on Scientology. I think not.]. Anyway, we were interviewed about our thoughts on the man since he's been dropped by Para...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: March 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Friday, March 31, 2006. I need something to start my engine in the morning. Sometimes it's the frustration of waiting for the train or the sense of impending doom if I oversleep, but more consistently it's a cup of coffee. So when something gets in the way of my morning beverage, I get flustered. Good morning, beautiful lady. What can I get you, my sweetheart? You should come over for free massage! As if the donut would cause me to see clearly.
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: June 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Wednesday, June 28, 2006. Her Name was Lola. And let me tell you, she was definitely not a showgirl. She is a dog, in fact. I met Lola this weekend at my friend's house. Lola is one of their two humungous dogs I forget what breed she is, but she's 150 pounds and she's only 3 1/2. And she slobbers. And she's just the cutest. But she’s not petite: at one point she stepped on my foot and I think I heard a bone crack. Lola's parents came home and fou...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: April 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Thursday, April 20, 2006. Good lord. I think that about sums it all up. A girl goes on vacation for a few days and the holy gates of work open and flow into and over my inbox. I'm ready to retire. Who's with me? I don't even know where to start. And maybe you ask: "But Emily, what's the big deal? You don't have to keep the holiday. No one's going to know the difference.". Ah, I guess you haven't met me then. Do you know. How stubborn I am? They s...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: July 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Sunday, July 30, 2006. I'm going on vacation to china for 18 days! And I'm very excited. I've also noticed that every single thing I've bought in preparation for this trip is made in China. It makes me wonder what's actually over there that I can't get here. Then again, at least I'll be able to buy right from the underage worker, so it makes me feel good to be able to cut out the middle man. What ridiculousness is that? Links to this post. I've a...
emilyepstein.blogspot.com
B'scuse me?: May 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Wednesday, May 31, 2006. I told my boyfriend about my dreams the next day. He told me that the same night I was having those dreams, he was dreaming that I had gained 60 pounds. I'm hoping that we're so in tune with each other that we're dreaming similar dreams, otherwise, it's foreshadowing. I really hope it's not foreshadowing. Posted by Emily Epstein at 7:43 AM. Links to this post. Tuesday, May 23, 2006. Posted by Emily Epstein at 7:54 AM.
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B'scuse me?: November 2006
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The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady. Wednesday, November 29, 2006. A Wrinkle in Time. I like the elderly. I mean, we all have our good days and our bad days, but generally, they're a funny people and more so because they don't mean to be. All of a sudden I hear a voice. An old Brooklyn-sounding voice ask, "So what did you think of the movie? Fine, don't answer me then, she said, with a harrumph. Ah, well, what movie did you see? The stall next to me volunteered. Ventured the last st...
