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Mercenary Words: May 2005
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More fun than a tree full of howler monkeys on nitrous! Tuesday, May 31, 2005. Maine: The Personalized License Plate State. While driving through Maine this past weekend, I was struck by how many vanity plates were out there. It almost seems like you're required to get one. At the same time, though, do you really want to advertise that you're a ticking time bomb? It turns out that little woogums was whizzing in this guy's gardenia bed. I can just imagine that conversation with the law. Cop: Not even for.
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Mercenary Words: March 2005
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More fun than a tree full of howler monkeys on nitrous! Wednesday, March 30, 2005. So, I'm currently working on database maintenance documentation for a security product. It's about as wretchedly boring as you can get without wanting to take your own life. Meanwhile, outside, it looks like the first nice spring day we've had this year. It's tough. Part of me wants to prance through the woods (in an appropriately masculine fashion) and part of me. Posted by Lance Manion at 10:51 AM. Tuesday, March 29, 2005.
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Mercenary Words: July 2005
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More fun than a tree full of howler monkeys on nitrous! Friday, July 29, 2005. Soft Drinks and Rat Pee. As I cracked open a Diet Coke this morning, a coworker chided me for not rinsing the top of the can. They all have rat pee on them, you know. I said, "Really? Of course," she said, "They're in these filthy warehouses before they came here. Rats pee all over them.". In my limited experience, the beverage warehouse was no cleaner or dirtier than any other warehouse. But now I have questions -. I have the...
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Mercenary Words: June 2005
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More fun than a tree full of howler monkeys on nitrous! Wednesday, June 29, 2005. Right Seamus here. A few questions:. What's the going rate for 1 kilo of uncut heroin? Is baby laxative acceptable for cutting heroin? How likely are drug dealers to hold a grudge once they discover they've been ripped off? No reason, just curious. Posted by Lance Manion at 11:45 AM. Tuesday, June 28, 2005. It's priced to move and loaded onto a backyard catapult for easy delivery. Posted by Lance Manion at 12:16 PM. She's b...
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Mercenary Words: April 2005
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More fun than a tree full of howler monkeys on nitrous! Saturday, April 30, 2005. The Best Lie I Ever Told. But there's also the best lie I ever told. One St. Patrick's Day, a few years ago, I was walking across Boston Common with the lovely Mrs. Manion. And I walked into a tree. It was cold and windy, okay? As disappointed as I know you're going to be, I was sober on St. Paddy's day. And then I'd stroke the cut menacingly. And then the developer would suddenly have lots of time to answer my questions!
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Mercenary Words: August 2005
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More fun than a tree full of howler monkeys on nitrous! Monday, August 29, 2005. My Father vs. Crustaceo, The Giant Land Crab. So you've probably been saying to yourselves, "What the hell happened to Lance? He's been quiet for over a week! And I'd like to tell you that I've been held captive by an elite squad of lingerie model ninjas. I. Like to tell you that. The Dougie thing is still in the works. Lord knows I'm not keen to get dick-slapped by Mr. Scoop. My parents decided that the only way to make me ...