appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: March 2012
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Thursday, March 29, 2012. Oscar Mayer For President: Bologna 2012. Mitt Romney would like to cordially invite you, the flea-ridden, syphilitic rabble to a kick-ass party at his vacation home. Figuratively speaking, of course. Some kind of pointless tallest-dwarf contest. Were this a fitting metaphor, which it is so completely not, Romney would be the one on the right. Contestant really puts on the ritz and nails her routine. Here, the only inconsistency is that Romney's mother is dead. Posted by Elliot M...
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Appellate Sky: August 2013
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Friday, August 16, 2013. To the Extreme: The Story of a Responsible 33-Year-Old Badass. After the waves of transcendent euphoria have subsided, I remember that this amusing flight of fancy I call a life has been the result of much more than just my wanton good luck, and that the almost brutal elation that I never don't experience comes largely from my burning desire to achieve goals. Indeed, there lies within me an uncanny stick-to-itiveness that propels me toward ecstasies known to only a select few.
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: August 2011
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Saturday, August 27, 2011. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Camping Trip. Suffice it to say I think camping is the tits. I'm always trying to bring along people I know who have never been camping before, and who doubt the inherent awesomeness of it, so they can realize how fucking stupid they are. So this time I decided to bring my good friend Muammar Gaddafi, because let's face it, the dude needs some cheering up right about now. That's right, you will. Later we sat around the fire and roasted marshmallows and...
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: October 2011
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Thursday, October 6, 2011. Occupying Time Down On Obfuscation Street. I mean if Coldplay had put out that album. I would have been mildly impressed, but then again I wouldn't want to live in a world like that. But I must say it's a pretty fucked up world we're living in already, what with these dastardly terrorist cleric derelicts getting killed. By drones, and the fed warning of the possibility of revenge missions in the making. To remember much more than the basic gist. And indeed their website sta...
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: To the Extreme: The Story of a Responsible 33-Year-Old Badass
http://appellatesky.blogspot.com/2013/08/to-extreme-story-of-responsible-33-year.html
Friday, August 16, 2013. To the Extreme: The Story of a Responsible 33-Year-Old Badass. After the waves of transcendent euphoria have subsided, I remember that this amusing flight of fancy I call a life has been the result of much more than just my wanton good luck, and that the almost brutal elation that I never don't experience comes largely from my burning desire to achieve goals. Indeed, there lies within me an uncanny stick-to-itiveness that propels me toward ecstasies known to only a select few.
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: Incredibly Prestigious Awards That I Made Up Just Now
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Tuesday, November 19, 2013. Incredibly Prestigious Awards That I Made Up Just Now. And so, without further prolonging the agony of anticipating this grand gala and the ecstasy it will deliver, let us commence with the exquisitely dignified ceremony. Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor to be here tonight and to be the presenter of this year's incredibly prestigious award for Shittiest Employee to be a Pretty Cool Guy. Sheesh.how do you open these things? Best Performance by a Non-vegan. Oh gosh too hard ...
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: April 2011
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Friday, April 22, 2011. Unsung Heroes of the Criminal Underworld. Little Richard the elf was a jolly old chap with a love for pointy hats and an honest day's work. He was dedicated to his career and loved every minute of crafting his fine snow for the children until they shot him in the fucking head, not the children but someone else. He is survived by his life partner David the Gnome. Rowena Rubberface has been dealt some devastating blows in her life, but she always bounces back. Breanna the baby booki...
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: July 2011
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Saturday, July 23, 2011. Driving to Outerspace in My '02 Chevy Malibu. By now most of you probably know about the end of the NASA space shuttle program. Basically what has happened is that Obama, like a total dipshit, has put forth a new space exploration proposal that does not include. The glorious winged symbols of freedom we natural-born Americans have lovingly called "shuttles," and NASA, like a bunch of pussies, has just sat back and let him. Later That's The Real Housewives of Orange County. But I ...
appellatesky.blogspot.com
Appellate Sky: June 2011
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Sunday, June 26, 2011. Appreciating Some of the Shittiest Cultures. For example, this. But let me come to my own defense and say that some of the shit they taught there really was as retarded as Sarah Palin with a brain injury as a contestant on Press Your Luck. A humanity, well that's just stupid. So why don't you just go and read a book by some boring-ass dead guy, because I have nothing to say to you. Talk to the hand. The often painful process of cultural assimilation. But the one thing I actually li...
