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Ambient Moronics: The Hardass Goes Skiing (Part 1)
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010/11/hardass-goes-skiing-part-1.html
Friday, November 19, 2010. The Hardass Goes Skiing (Part 1). Well, where do you. You don't seriously buy into that 'flying south' nonsense, do you? The Hardass never much cared for paved surfaces anyway. Or ducks. Of course they fly south! They don't all die. Chastity said, her face distorted by womanly anguish. The Abrams flattened some road signs. " Nature. Tell me that a duck would be able to walk all the way to Florida. There's no way they'd make it. They're too soft.". Have you ever seen one flying?
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Ambient Moronics: A Con-man Visits an Old Woman who Lives in a Rent-Controlled Apartment …in at least 350 Words
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2012/09/a-con-man-visits-old-woman-who-lives-in.html
Tuesday, September 11, 2012. A Con-man Visits an Old Woman who Lives in a Rent-Controlled Apartment …in at least 350 Words. Reginald Spalding was a tall man, about six-three, and he was wearing his favorite fedora. Reginald Spalding wore a hat. His was grey with a warped brim. His be-hatted frame tiptoed lightly up the porch steps of the big brownstone monolith that hulked over the corner of 4. 8221; came the response. A woman. She sounded old. 8220;Good afternoon, Ms. Bannister! 8221; Reginald chirped&#...
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Ambient Moronics: September 2012
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2012_09_01_archive.html
Tuesday, September 11, 2012. A Con-man Visits an Old Woman who Lives in a Rent-Controlled Apartment …in at least 350 Words. Reginald Spalding was a tall man, about six-three, and he was wearing his favorite fedora. Reginald Spalding wore a hat. His was grey with a warped brim. His be-hatted frame tiptoed lightly up the porch steps of the big brownstone monolith that hulked over the corner of 4. 8221; came the response. A woman. She sounded old. 8220;Good afternoon, Ms. Bannister! 8221; Reginald chirped&#...
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Ambient Moronics: August 2010
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010_08_01_archive.html
Wednesday, August 25, 2010. I like that title. I'm not sure why. And I'll bet it's been used before by trenchcoated teenagers with their nails painted black with permanent marker and all sorts of piercings they regret to describe the exquisite hatefulness that is being a doughy white kid living in comfort so comfortable it's painful. Did any of that last sentence make sense to you? Yeah Those kids are stupid, aren't they? See, I hate yard work. I don't mind pushing a mower- rather like it, in fact- b...
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Ambient Moronics: December 2010
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010_12_01_archive.html
Friday, December 3, 2010. How to Flip a Coin. Before we all of us begin, make sure you are in a well-ventilated area with no sharp corners or small children; both are likely to poke you in the groin and make you angry. Turn on all the lights and put on some soft jazz. No, we take that back. Turn that crap off. See what we did there? A motor cortex in good working order. Yours isn't. If you can't type out your disagreement with that statement, I'm right. We're ready to begin! Where'd you put it? Hold out ...
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Ambient Moronics: July 2010
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010_07_01_archive.html
Wednesday, July 21, 2010. Have you ever read Dante's Inferno. It doesn't matter; I'm going to explain it anyway. It's called "padding" and all the good writers do it. Fortunately for Dante, the Roman poet Virgil is just sort of hanging out down there, smoking a cigarette and fooling around with a yo-yo, and Virgil knows his way around Hell. We get to come along with Dante as he sees what Satan has in store for all the assholes on Earth. We learn that Hell is a surprisingly organized place, with multi...
thefoodaddy.com
Ambient Moronics: How to Flip a Coin
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010/12/how-to-flip-coin.html
Friday, December 3, 2010. How to Flip a Coin. Before we all of us begin, make sure you are in a well-ventilated area with no sharp corners or small children; both are likely to poke you in the groin and make you angry. Turn on all the lights and put on some soft jazz. No, we take that back. Turn that crap off. See what we did there? A motor cortex in good working order. Yours isn't. If you can't type out your disagreement with that statement, I'm right. We're ready to begin! Where'd you put it? Hold out ...
thefoodaddy.com
Ambient Moronics: January 2010
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
Tuesday, January 5, 2010. The Assault on Something or Other. The chatter of small arms fire was the sonic backdrop on which Major General Mack "Whack" Buffalo painted loud and offensive pictures with his gravelly voice. You ducktwats were supposed to secure the arms drop and what the fuck happened with that? Private Monkeyhole over here fuckin' shot at the parachute and the whole bitch'n'kaboodle came crashing the damn down! Bananas and grenades everywhere! Major Buffalo threw a file cabinet at him.
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Ambient Moronics: May 2010
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010_05_01_archive.html
Wednesday, May 5, 2010. Wow, it sure has been a while, hasn't it? If you can't hear me, that's okay. I kind of expect that my fans have all wandered off by now. I mean, I can't blame you. If there was a site whose material I loved, I'd only spend a month, maybe a month and a half tops,. Refreshing the page every hour before the lack of new content drove me to become depressed and jump out a window. Keygen ho, matey! T'will unlock me digital booty! You'll be wondering why I'm here," the stranger said....
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Ambient Moronics: November 2010
http://www.thefoodaddy.com/2010_11_01_archive.html
Friday, November 19, 2010. The Hardass Goes Skiing (Part 1). Well, where do you. You don't seriously buy into that 'flying south' nonsense, do you? The Hardass never much cared for paved surfaces anyway. Or ducks. Of course they fly south! They don't all die. Chastity said, her face distorted by womanly anguish. The Abrams flattened some road signs. " Nature. Tell me that a duck would be able to walk all the way to Florida. There's no way they'd make it. They're too soft.". Have you ever seen one flying?
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