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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 195

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 195. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. The perfect showman, Blog Jesus. Leave 'em wanting more. My question is, do you think they'll want more? Hell no. They'll just move on to the next retard with a good gimmick and I will be forgotten like . . . what the fuck is that guy's name. Cecil B. asks:. Also: w...

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 191

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 191. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. Is it bad that i haven't started xmas shopping yet? I mean, i haven't bought a damned thing. Oh, and my cards? They'll be late again this year, too. Is it okay to go out with someone if you know they are more into you, then you are into them? Sure If the Chargers wi...

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Ask Blog Jesus: December 2005

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Tuesday, December 27, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 199. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. This all begs the question: who's doing the nailing? I don't necessarily want to do it, but it would have been nice to at least be asked. On your way out, you chicken-shit, can you leave the keys to the kingdom? When's the going away party? Ps: Is GD a midget pimp?

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 193

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Friday, December 16, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 193. The Wonderful R.U. Serious asks:. I keep reading these posts from Labbie indicating he believes he may be having sex. What drugs is he on and where can I get some? I understand that he licks the anal cavity of kittens before logging in and asking a question. What kind of proof must I provide to show that, indeed, I HAVE been "laying down pipe"? Blue prints of the home you're building along with a slide show of the construction should suffice.

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 196

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 196. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. See Look at all the questions now. And the day before there were but two. Like I said: whore. Everyone lines up for the new whore, but nobody's laughing when we've all got a screaming case of gonorrhea. Romper Room, eh? Is that very christ-like of you? Should we s...

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Ask Blog Jesus: March 2005

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Thursday, March 31, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day Thirteen. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. Hey BJ,In Martin Heidegger's Introduction to Metaphysics, he starts with the question "why are there beings at all instead of nothing? And then goes on for like 250 pages of shit I don't understand. Is it because he's German or because he's a philosopher? I am ve...

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 194

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Monday, December 19, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 194. Before answering any questions, it's announcement time. Blog Jesus will be leaving the Earthly coil after my 200 day of answering questions. I feel that if your world isn't right after 200 days of my shoveling this shit then you're doomed. I invite everyone to scoop up as much advice as you can over the next seven installments. And now on to the regular opening:. No just a bad day to be a professional gambler. Consider the right hand nailed.

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 198

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Friday, December 23, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 198. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. I've lost my copy of How to Influence People and Make Friends, so I've decided that the best thing to do is call everyone I meet a bastard and spit a lot. So, my question is: what is the major export of Guatemala? Posted by MPH @ 11:23 AM. When's the going away party?

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 192

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 192. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. What's the deal with the locals here in Naples, Italy? Are there any cool people here or are they all a bunch of crooks? Anonymous City Girl asks:. If you're Jesus, why do you live in Indiana? Where do I sign up to defend your ass in the war against Christmas?

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Ask Blog Jesus: And Now Your Answers - Day 190

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Monday, December 12, 2005. And Now Your Answers - Day 190. People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:. What do you want for christmas? Keep in mind that i'm trying for the prestigious "employee of the year" award. Oh, and my budget is 50 cents. No, she's trying to sex your stink off of her as I write. Go to the nearest African American run S and M store. I mean, one p...