insaneasylime.blogspot.com
Insane Asylime: March 2006
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006. Things Not to Say to Your Wife. 1 When you've purchased a $600 compound miter saw with every bell and whistle imaginable do not caress it more lovingly than you caress your wife and state, "This is better than sex! I responded with, "If it's teeth you want on your manhood, I can oblige."). 2 When you see the child your wife carries in her womb move for the first time do not exclaim, "Cool! It's just like 'Alien! 4 When she hugs you do not ask, "Are we done yet? 7 people are goi...
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Insane Asylime: December 2005
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Friday, December 30, 2005. Here's to another year of complete. Posted by Stephanie at 6:30 PM. 9 people are going crazy. Wednesday, December 28, 2005. From The Files Of: You Little . Jessica, my youngest, has inherited smart ass wit and flawless delivery from both her father and I. I learned this for sure about a week before Christmas. She was being very, very fresh and bratty. She looked up at me and without missing a beat replied, "Good, I like rocks.". Posted by Stephanie at 8:31 AM. Is proposing in l...
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Insane Asylime: June 2006
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Friday, June 30, 2006. Hon This is for you this week, and me next week. Just a few suggestions from the twisted mind of Lime. To help you pass the drive in peace. 1 Drug the children before leaving. I've got some extra Vicodin I don't need anymore. 2 What can Brown do for you? It can crate and ship the kids (and ornery spouses)to your vacation destination or even alternate destinations if you prefer. Posted by lime at 2:26 PM. 10 people are going crazy. Friday, June 09, 2006. More Sex Ed a la Lime. Mommy...
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Insane Asylime: May 2006
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006. Overheard in the Asylime. Limelette#1 (F,age 15):. Watching tv) It makes no sense when a girl is in a bubble bath, that a guy in a suit and shoes climbs in the tub, ruins his clothes and gets mud in the tub. So not romantic. Right, he should climb in nekkid. Yep, forget all that foreplay crap, let's get to business. Foreplay is a very good thing. Well, when you're married you don't really need it right? Cuz you can just go at it any time you want. Limelet#3 (M, age 10):. Insane p...
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Insane Asylime: October 2005
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Monday, October 31, 2005. Posted by Stephanie at 10:45 AM. 37 people are going crazy. Do I really need a costume? Ain't I skeery enough? Posted by lime at 9:21 AM. 5 people are going crazy. Friday, October 28, 2005. The Kids Ate My Homework. 1 Some green stuff in the back of my fridge ate off my fingers when I tried to clean it out. 2 My kids thought the research paper was a doodle pad. 3 I was busy swinging from the chandelier and having wild jungle sex. 6 I was catatonic. Posted by lime at 7:40 PM.
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Insane Asylime: November 2005
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Wednesday, November 30, 2005. My Nefarious Plan Is Working! Limelette #1 is nearly 15 and has quite a list of complaints about how I have ruined her day/night/life. I have done so by:. 1 Requiring that her dirty clothes be dragged all the way to the laundry room if she wants me to wash them. Why do I have to do that? Can't you sort through all this mess on the floor? No dear, not without Hazmat gear. 4 Asking her to set the table for dinner. 6 Reminding her to carry her own used place setting to the sink.
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Insane Asylime: April 2006
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Friday, April 28, 2006. You have got to be freaking kidding me? I just paid $50.00 to fill my mom-mobile! Posted by Stephanie at 4:17 PM. 9 people are going crazy. Tuesday, April 25, 2006. As Seen On A T-Shirt Tuesday. Today's t-shirt is presented by the devastatingly delicious. Posted by Stephanie at 10:41 AM. 6 people are going crazy. Monday, April 24, 2006. Here are a few alternative stories for how I broke my arm. Really rough sex. If you think my arm is bad you should see my partner. 5 people are go...
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Insane Asylime: February 2006
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Tuesday, February 28, 2006. As Seen On A T-Shirt Tuesday. Posted by Stephanie at 10:08 AM. 8 people are going crazy. Sunday, February 26, 2006. This weekend, since there was much sickness in the house, we watched a lot of movies. During one movie scene a particular character referred to another one as a 'pecker.' The entire family, save Limelet #3 giggled. Not wanting to miss any of the humor, my 10 year old son asked what was so funny. Posted by lime at 8:07 PM. 9 people are going crazy. I Seem To Be.
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Insane Asylime: January 2006
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006. As Seen On A T-Shirt Tuesday. Pretending to have a career is hard work.". If it weren't for you, I'd be a different person. Maybe even happy.". Give me ambiguity or give me something else.". And, for Lime and her taters:. The more things change, the more they remain insane.". Posted by Stephanie at 11:35 PM. 6 people are going crazy. Monday, January 30, 2006. And if that isn't bad enough these terrible tubers started trying to harass poor Strawberry Shortcake. If you need to le...
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Insane Asylime: September 2005
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Friday, September 30, 2005. Just a Slight Oedipal Complex. It was 5:24 am when my 10-year-old son staggered into my bedroom. He stood over me and asked, "Can I climb in bed with you guys? Posted by lime at 1:19 PM. 6 people are going crazy. Posted by Stephanie at 10:05 AM. 9 people are going crazy. Thursday, September 29, 2005. Originally uploaded by tydyd1. Since I mentioned my therapeutic trip to the beach this summer, here are my fat little duck feet in the surf. Bare feet played by the sea spray.
