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MATRIARCHUNMOORED.COM

Matriarch, Unmoored

ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION...MAYBE.

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Matriarch, Unmoored | matriarchunmoored.com Reviews
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ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION...MAYBE.
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2 the new house
3 oh dear
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7 older posts
8 about me
9 blog archive
10 clean food
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Matriarch, Unmoored | matriarchunmoored.com Reviews

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ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION...MAYBE.

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1

Matriarch, Unmoored: March 2010

http://www.matriarchunmoored.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION.MAYBE. Tuesday, March 23, 2010. My Friends Are Food. Now, don’t be calling the po-leece on me, at least not just yet. (WARNING: Run-on sentence immediately ahead. A rest break and a small snack are recommended before you tackle it.) Before you get yourself all in an uproar that I’m coming out of the closet as a cannibal (“I knew it! I just KNEW it! Yeah, I know, I know. As a concept for a funny piece, it’s a reach. But will you humor me, dear readers? Monday, March 22, 2010. It app...

2

Matriarch, Unmoored: Wells of Wisdom

http://www.matriarchunmoored.com/2015/08/wells-of-wisdom.html

ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION.MAYBE. Friday, August 7, 2015. My friends and I are a little shriveled, our waists are nothing but a dim memory, and the girls at the pedicure place fistfight over who’s going to get stuck doing our feet, but there are deep wells of wisdom in us that the world desperately needs. Well, except for Darla. Based on the advice she gives us, you really don’t want anything that comes up out of her well. We’re afraid to even peek. We don’t understand why everybody doesn't run to drin...

3

Matriarch, Unmoored: August 2015

http://www.matriarchunmoored.com/2015_08_01_archive.html

ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION.MAYBE. Monday, August 31, 2015. Causing a Forest Fire Doesn’t Count. My friends and I are beacons of goodness and light in this dark world, but there are some misguided souls who just don’t understand our lofty mission in life. Just yesterday, we were summoned to a solemn convocation of the Scorched and Otherwise Mistreated Citizens Association, all of them carrying placards calling us ugly names. Well, that’s not quite correct. And this is what the poor, ignorant things told us:.

4

Matriarch, Unmoored: December 2011

http://www.matriarchunmoored.com/2011_12_01_archive.html

ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION.MAYBE. Friday, December 30, 2011. Hoppin’ John and Limpin' Susan. I Am A Pariah. Again. But, anyway, I have now once again roamed off into the mental briar patch and lost my train of thought. My friends tend to do that, too, so that might be yet another reason our commando raids to rescue Opal have failed. Okay, girls, we’re in." A pause. "Does anybody know why we’re here? Happy New Year to all of you out there! Thursday, December 29, 2011. Santa Clause Isn’t Coming. Every time the...

5

Matriarch, Unmoored: June 2010

http://www.matriarchunmoored.com/2010_06_01_archive.html

ALL HUMOR. ALL FICTION.MAYBE. Wednesday, June 30, 2010. The Repair Bill is HOW MUCH? My car doesn’t talk to me and doesn’t rat me out to the authorities just because I’ve had another run-in with a guardrail. It just obligingly goes wherever I point it, mum as an oyster. In short, it’s a dream vehicle. But it does need a lot of maintenance. Even with the discount, I’m going to have to give up getting pedicures and do my own feet for months. I'm not looking forward to that, because the last time ...Alien s...

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