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Matthew C. Douglas | Essential Satire for the Modern American

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. Suburban Couple Uses Up Entire Tub of Vaseline. SCHAUMBURG, ILLINOIS After an extraordinarily long period of regular use, a suburban Chicago couple reported today that it finished an entire full-sized container of Vaseline. Sources confirmed that the fragrance-free “Wonder Jelly” had been sitting on the bathroom counter for God knows how long. It's only fair to share. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. January 17, 2017. Tameka Harris of B...

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Matthew C. Douglas | Essential Satire for the Modern American | matthewcdouglas.com Reviews

https://matthewcdouglas.com

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. Suburban Couple Uses Up Entire Tub of Vaseline. SCHAUMBURG, ILLINOIS After an extraordinarily long period of regular use, a suburban Chicago couple reported today that it finished an entire full-sized container of Vaseline. Sources confirmed that the fragrance-free “Wonder Jelly” had been sitting on the bathroom counter for God knows how long. It's only fair to share. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. January 17, 2017. Tameka Harris of B...

INTERNAL PAGES

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1

Needles and Risk | Matthew C. Douglas

http://matthewcdouglas.com/needles-and-risk

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. Jesus Christ, though, the sensation of these rapacious ninja children slicing at me with stunted swords! This entry was posted in Uncategorized. January 30, 2014. Excerpt: And the Beauty of This Night in Particular. 53-Word Story: Well You Needn’t Cry for the Man at the Water’s Edge →. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. You must be logged in. To post a comment. Largest-Ever Area Rollout of Teenage Clones Hits During Lollapalooza 2016.

2

October | 2013 | Matthew C. Douglas

http://matthewcdouglas.com/2013/10

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. Monthly Archives: October 2013. Excerpt: And the Beauty of This Night in Particular. The Sun moves with the dumb confidence of a giant behind the infinite Atlantic wall to the east and holds for just the right moment to announce:. Mine And this is. Yours . Many thousands of miles in all directions. Though my heat shall reach farther still! Immeasurable expanses of empty space kneel in humble capitulation and reverence. There can be no doubt: I...

3

Excerpt: And the Beauty of This Night in Particular | Matthew C. Douglas

http://matthewcdouglas.com/excerpt-and-the-beauty-of-this-night-in-particular

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. Excerpt: And the Beauty of This Night in Particular. The Sun moves with the dumb confidence of a giant behind the infinite Atlantic wall to the east and holds for just the right moment to announce:. Mine And this is. Yours . Many thousands of miles in all directions. Though my heat shall reach farther still! Immeasurable expanses of empty space kneel in humble capitulation and reverence. I have five billion years worth of nuclear fuel yet!

4

Red Hot Disposal | Matthew C. Douglas

http://matthewcdouglas.com/red-hot-disposal

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. I hate you when you’re like this. Everything I say is wrong. When I want to have that last cold Coke on black asphalt you won’t give me space to breathe. You suffocate me with your workman’s hands. God: everything is slow this time of year on the peninsula, dripping down like stringy discharge from the flaccid mainland. You suck the pleasure out of smoking. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. August 17, 2013. The Other Half Lives →.

5

word workouts | Matthew C. Douglas

http://matthewcdouglas.com/language-exercises

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. A dipshit doofus from the Dardanelles drops trou and dinks his dick on a diorama of President Dwight D. Eisenhower dangling his ding-a-ling at a dyspeptic dyke dissecting a didactic dissertation about dazzling dialogue in dark documentaries, while dolorous dorks dance with dupes and Delphic mediums digest Danish dishes. (De nada). Leave a Reply Cancel reply. You must be logged in. To post a comment. Proudly powered by WordPress.

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Current Issue | Flash Fiction Musings for The Literary Minded | In fewer than 500 words.

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Flash Fiction Musings for The Literary Minded. In fewer than 500 words. Follow Us on Facebook. A Hummingbird Trapped In an Hourglass By Jeremy Joseph Light. August 15, 2016 Comments Off on A Hummingbird Trapped In an Hourglass By Jeremy Joseph Light. It’s never enough. Please sir, can I have some more? I’m twisting like Oliver, playing the pipe organ with hands full of raw liver and an ill-fitting cape. No one can be quite sure if it’s more of a Phantom cape or a super hero disguise. I sit down for fifte...

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Matthew C. Douglas | Essential Satire for the Modern American

Matthew C. Douglas. Essential Satire for the Modern American. Suburban Couple Uses Up Entire Tub of Vaseline. SCHAUMBURG, ILLINOIS After an extraordinarily long period of regular use, a suburban Chicago couple reported today that it finished an entire full-sized container of Vaseline. Sources confirmed that the fragrance-free “Wonder Jelly” had been sitting on the bathroom counter for God knows how long. It's only fair to share. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. January 17, 2017. Tameka Harris of B...

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