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Butterfly 20

Thursday, August 13, 2015. It was then that I realized Chad could have been you, Dylan. Same age, same hair color. This is what it would have been like, what it should be like, watching the three of you play together. Thank God for sunglasses because tears were running down my face. Lola was running after him, giggling. Chasing after her big brother. Later on, I was sitting at the computer with Lola. She saw the screensaver and said "Aww, it's baby Lola! I said no. Then she said "It's Bubba? How do I not...

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Butterfly 20 | mcmathews.blogspot.com Reviews

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Thursday, August 13, 2015. It was then that I realized Chad could have been you, Dylan. Same age, same hair color. This is what it would have been like, what it should be like, watching the three of you play together. Thank God for sunglasses because tears were running down my face. Lola was running after him, giggling. Chasing after her big brother. Later on, I was sitting at the computer with Lola. She saw the screensaver and said Aww, it's baby Lola! I said no. Then she said It's Bubba? How do I not...

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Butterfly 20 | mcmathews.blogspot.com Reviews

https://mcmathews.blogspot.com

Thursday, August 13, 2015. It was then that I realized Chad could have been you, Dylan. Same age, same hair color. This is what it would have been like, what it should be like, watching the three of you play together. Thank God for sunglasses because tears were running down my face. Lola was running after him, giggling. Chasing after her big brother. Later on, I was sitting at the computer with Lola. She saw the screensaver and said "Aww, it's baby Lola! I said no. Then she said "It's Bubba? How do I not...

INTERNAL PAGES

mcmathews.blogspot.com

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Butterfly 20: December 2011

http://www.mcmathews.blogspot.com/2011_12_01_archive.html

Saturday, December 17, 2011. December 18th, 2010. On the night you were born,. The moon smiled with such wonder. That the stars peeked in to see you. And the night wind whispered,. 8220;Life will never be the same.”. Because there had never been anyone like you…ever in the world. So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain. That they whispered the sound of your wonderful name. It sailed through the farmland. High on the breeze…. Over the ocean…. And through the trees…. Until everyone heard it. And p...

2

Butterfly 20: Happy Birthday, Shrimp!

http://www.mcmathews.blogspot.com/2013/08/happy-birthday-shrimp.html

Sunday, August 18, 2013. Happy Birthday, Shrimp! So today would have been our third child's due date. Such a difficult time for me right now; so many emotions. How do I mourn a child that I never got to celebrate? How do I not fall into the pit when I'm pregnant again and need to keep my head as sane as possible? So how do we mark Shrimp's due date? Lucky for me, I get to "hold" him all day long. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Happy Birthday, Shrimp! View my complete profile. Happy Birthday, Shrimp!

3

Butterfly 20: July 2011

http://www.mcmathews.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html

Wednesday, July 20, 2011. We left the office with 3 pictures and huge grins. I went home and texted about 90 people to let them know. I went to Babies R Us and bought him a few things to celebrate. What a happy day. Monday, July 18, 2011. Just get this baby out of me or he will die! He didn't have a chance. He wasn't meant to be. I hate that I couldn't come home from work tonight and hug and kiss him. I hate that this house is always so quiet when I know it should be filled with crying and babbling&#...

4

Butterfly 20: August 2013

http://www.mcmathews.blogspot.com/2013_08_01_archive.html

Sunday, August 18, 2013. Happy Birthday, Shrimp! So today would have been our third child's due date. Such a difficult time for me right now; so many emotions. How do I mourn a child that I never got to celebrate? How do I not fall into the pit when I'm pregnant again and need to keep my head as sane as possible? So how do we mark Shrimp's due date? Lucky for me, I get to "hold" him all day long. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Happy Birthday, Shrimp! View my complete profile. When goodbye comes before hello.

5

Butterfly 20: If Only

http://www.mcmathews.blogspot.com/2015/08/if-only.html

Thursday, August 13, 2015. It was then that I realized Chad could have been you, Dylan. Same age, same hair color. This is what it would have been like, what it should be like, watching the three of you play together. Thank God for sunglasses because tears were running down my face. Lola was running after him, giggling. Chasing after her big brother. Later on, I was sitting at the computer with Lola. She saw the screensaver and said "Aww, it's baby Lola! I said no. Then she said "It's Bubba? Tom and I me...

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findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: Running Out

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2013/09/running-out.html

Finding My New Normal. Sunday, September 15, 2013. When I started thinking about writing this post, the title of this one was “Running out of Options.” But as it started to come together, I realized that I’m running out of so much more than options. I’m running out of time. I’m running out of steam. I’m running out of heart to break. And I’m running out of hope. Let me be clear that I don’t want to give up. I’m not a quitter. But I have to acknowledge that there aren’t many more...At the end of the day, ...

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: April 2013

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2013_04_01_archive.html

Finding My New Normal. Thursday, April 25, 2013. It’s only been a week since we’ve had to let our dream go. I know there is still much healing to be done, and time will do what it always does – make things more manageable. In the meantime, I sort through all of these complicated emotions and attempt to figure out a way to answer “how are you? 8221; in a way that is more easily understood, but still honest. It will be a while before that answer can be “I’m fine.”. Friday, April 19, 2013. What's in a Name?

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: September 2013

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2013_09_01_archive.html

Finding My New Normal. Sunday, September 15, 2013. When I started thinking about writing this post, the title of this one was “Running out of Options.” But as it started to come together, I realized that I’m running out of so much more than options. I’m running out of time. I’m running out of steam. I’m running out of heart to break. And I’m running out of hope. Let me be clear that I don’t want to give up. I’m not a quitter. But I have to acknowledge that there aren’t many more...At the end of the day, ...

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: A Very Different Birthday

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-very-different-birthday.html

Finding My New Normal. Tuesday, August 19, 2014. A Very Different Birthday. Today, our oldest daughter turns 3. There will be no party. No blowing out the candles. No gifts for her to open. We’ve been through this day before, so you’d think we’d know what to expect. But this year is different. This year, we have her baby sister in our arms. There is no doubt that she has brought joy and light to our lives that we desperately needed. I was also so busy leading up to Vivienne’s birthday (a one month ...

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: Why?

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2012/01/why.html

Finding My New Normal. Sunday, January 1, 2012. I’m not sure there is a question that causes more anguish for a loss parent than “why? 8221; Why my child? Those are questions with answers that don’t come easy and ones that heavily affect what you believe in. First, there’s the physical “why? 8221; Why did this happen? We had an autopsy done on Vivienne (doesn’t that sound like a fun decision for a parent to make? So that’s the physical “why? January 1, 2012 at 12:09 PM. I love you, Tracey! I read this bo...

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: August 2014

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2014_08_01_archive.html

Finding My New Normal. Tuesday, August 19, 2014. A Very Different Birthday. Today, our oldest daughter turns 3. There will be no party. No blowing out the candles. No gifts for her to open. We’ve been through this day before, so you’d think we’d know what to expect. But this year is different. This year, we have her baby sister in our arms. There is no doubt that she has brought joy and light to our lives that we desperately needed. I was also so busy leading up to Vivienne’s birthday (a one month ...

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: Infertility and Loss

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2015/05/infertility-and-loss.html

Finding My New Normal. Sunday, May 3, 2015. The fact of the matter remains, I am still a bereaved Mother, and I still struggle with infertility. Both of these roles color my life and have made me who I am, in both good ways and bad. Let’s start with the bereaved mother part. I recognize that many people think I should be “fixed” by now. It’s been nearly 4 years, and we now have a daughter to hold in our arms. International Bereaved Mothers Day. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). View my complete profile.

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: October 2013

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2013_10_01_archive.html

Finding My New Normal. Tuesday, October 8, 2013. A Crisis of Faith. Holding on to my faith over the past 2 years has been a constant battle for me. When Vivienne died, it forced me to re-evaluate. The belief system that I’d been raised with. I had to find a way not to be angry with God. I had to find a way to still believe. I have to believe that I will see my daughter again someday. Some days, that’s the only thought that gets me out of bed and keeps me going. Well, how about this.”. This thought of nev...

findthenewnormal.blogspot.com

Finding My New Normal: February 2013

http://findthenewnormal.blogspot.com/2013_02_01_archive.html

Finding My New Normal. Wednesday, February 20, 2013. The Challenge - Week 2. While I'm late in posting, I have still been working on my 30 day challenge. Of acts of kindness. Here are my updates for week 2. Day 9 - sent a thank you to a fallen serviceman's family. This one had been on my list to do, but I wasn't sure how to start. So, I went to Google and found this site. Day 11 - sent a gift to a friend. She needed some encouragement, and I was happy to provide it. Day 15 - gave a 100% tip to a waitress...

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Butterfly 20

Thursday, August 13, 2015. It was then that I realized Chad could have been you, Dylan. Same age, same hair color. This is what it would have been like, what it should be like, watching the three of you play together. Thank God for sunglasses because tears were running down my face. Lola was running after him, giggling. Chasing after her big brother. Later on, I was sitting at the computer with Lola. She saw the screensaver and said "Aww, it's baby Lola! I said no. Then she said "It's Bubba? How do I not...

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