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Michael Campbell Essays

Wednesday, February 28, 2018. Take a Load Off. Thanksgiving gluttony skidded right past Christmas indulgence and T-boned into New Year’s revelry. Cookies and cocktails everywhere every day. I can’t say no to them. That’d be rude. So here am I, as wide as I am tall, psyching myself up for another annual New Year diet. Judging by the relentless advertising, we’re all in the same shape. “Get a Whole New You! 8221; they promise, when what they mean is Get Rid of Half of You. I started with the Atkins Diet:.

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Michael Campbell Essays | mcwritingessays.blogspot.com Reviews
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Wednesday, February 28, 2018. Take a Load Off. Thanksgiving gluttony skidded right past Christmas indulgence and T-boned into New Year’s revelry. Cookies and cocktails everywhere every day. I can’t say no to them. That’d be rude. So here am I, as wide as I am tall, psyching myself up for another annual New Year diet. Judging by the relentless advertising, we’re all in the same shape. “Get a Whole New You! 8221; they promise, when what they mean is Get Rid of Half of You. I started with the Atkins Diet:.
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Michael Campbell Essays | mcwritingessays.blogspot.com Reviews

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Wednesday, February 28, 2018. Take a Load Off. Thanksgiving gluttony skidded right past Christmas indulgence and T-boned into New Year’s revelry. Cookies and cocktails everywhere every day. I can’t say no to them. That’d be rude. So here am I, as wide as I am tall, psyching myself up for another annual New Year diet. Judging by the relentless advertising, we’re all in the same shape. “Get a Whole New You! 8221; they promise, when what they mean is Get Rid of Half of You. I started with the Atkins Diet:.

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1

Michael Campbell Essays

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Tuesday, January 1, 2013. Fire in the fireplace. Full of Christmas cheer! Fire in the fireplace. Fire in the fireplace. Pretty as — fuck! That's not the fireplace! Call the fire truck! Written by Michael Campbell. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Freelance writer of original humor, advertising, and web text. Humor essayist for. Food and Spirits Magazine. By day, a mild-mannered book designer. Are You Going To Eat That? A book of fifty-eight essays, hilarious and poignant. Find Michael on Google.

2

Michael Campbell Essays

http://mcwritingessays.blogspot.com/2013_08_01_archive.html

Monday, August 26, 2013. We’re Doomed. What’s for Dinner? Global Warming. Underwear Bombers. Gluten. Life feels precarious. I’ve gone beyond worrying about tomorrow to worrying whether I’ll make it to happy hour. To console myself, I make every meal a Last Supper. Not the broken bread and bloody wine kind, but real comfort food that will send me to the pearly gates with a happy belly. Show Me the Fat. Mac and Cheese, Please. Macaroni is a benign carrier like white bread: flavorless, with just enough stru...

3

Michael Campbell Essays

http://mcwritingessays.blogspot.com/2015_05_01_archive.html

Friday, May 1, 2015. 8220;OOOOH, mints mints mints-mints- mints! Squealed the 40-ish lady in the frilly lavender dress. “I just love. I can’t stop eating them! That was the truth. She devoured all the sugary green mints which had been carefully placed as party favors in front of her chair. Then she moved on to another chair and ate those mints too, continuing from seat to seat like a locust until her sweater was dusted in sparkles and she quivered from joy and insulin overload. With glee when we encounte...

4

Michael Campbell Essays

http://mcwritingessays.blogspot.com/2015_02_01_archive.html

Friday, February 13, 2015. The Year of Eating Dangerously. Before we buttered our first roll, before the glasses were filled, before we had a chance to say grace, my mother set down the platter of turkey and announced: “Everybody—save the neck for Dad.”. There was a pause as our eyes connected. It was the only time the six of us kids had ever been in complete agreement. Mom might as well have instructed us to save him the eyeball. Turkey itself is probably on its last legs, so to speak. I heard a lot...

5

Michael Campbell Essays

http://mcwritingessays.blogspot.com/2015/05/party-time.html

Friday, May 1, 2015. 8220;OOOOH, mints mints mints-mints- mints! Squealed the 40-ish lady in the frilly lavender dress. “I just love. I can’t stop eating them! That was the truth. She devoured all the sugary green mints which had been carefully placed as party favors in front of her chair. Then she moved on to another chair and ate those mints too, continuing from seat to seat like a locust until her sweater was dusted in sparkles and she quivered from joy and insulin overload. With glee when we encounte...

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I answered the phone. The guy on the other end of the line said, You’ve already got my business, because you’re the first one I’ve called who actually answered the phone. That’s the state of eBook formatting today. Computers don’t design eBooks any better than they write books. eBooks pushed out the butt end. Of a computer may be. Readable, but they just don’t look right. EBook design takes the same typesetter’s eye and a human touch as a print book. Why would we expect something called a meatgrinder.

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How to make an eBook. Easy distribution, higher royalties! Your book can look as good as the major publishers, without the wait. It's your first impression. Get it right. We help you say what you mean. Book publishing, eBooks and more! We're here to polish your writing into the gleaming pearl you know it could be. Then we'll help you publish an eBook. For the world to see. We make it easy even fun! Choose how we can help you from the choices at right. Let's get started! EPub and Kindle eBook design.

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EBook design Q and A. Q: I have my book in PDF format already. Is that the same as the ePub format? Nearly the opposite, really. A proper ePub conversion. Q: Is a professional eBook conversion service worth it? More so every day. People are buying iPads, Kindles, Sonys and Nooks by the truckload, and they’re eager to fill their new gadgets with eBooks. When Apple announced that the iPad will rely on the ePub book format, potential customers went up by over 100 million. At the very least, your eBook desig...

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Humor book

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Are You Going To Eat That? Michael Campbell's book of humor essays is here! Melanie McGuire was indicted for murdering her husband, after he washed ashore, in parts, on the Virginia coast. He was neatly packed into three trunks of his own monogrammed luggageone of those matching sets with various bag sizes: the big one for his torso, the smaller one (that fits in the overhead bin) for appendages, and of course, the hand bag. Are You Going To Eat That? Enjoy the best of. EPub and Kindle eBook design.

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Writing, editing and fixer-upping. Does your text read like a legal summons? Ou need a fresh voice . Already have copy but it’s missing,. We have a keen editing axe and know how to swing it. Cheerful sales copy written precisely for your product or service. No sales pitches out of a can. Web-friendly writing that search engines love. We'’ll make sure the world can find you. Twenty years of experience avoiding literary landmines, those words or phrases that can. Sony Reader or iPad. Go paperless.

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Reach Michael Campbell

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109;camp@me.com. Prairie Moon Publishing, Inc. 301 S 50th Avenue. Be the first to know about upcoming shows:. Join the mailing list. Looking for MC's humor essays? Read hundreds of Michael Campbell's humor essays here.

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Howling at the Moon: January 2014

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Howling at the Moon. Listen to them- the children of the night. What music they make! Friday, January 31, 2014. 8220;Road Trip: Pt. III”. The school is in the mountains up a winding highway. I got a ride at some point to within a few miles of it and started walking. Not many vehicles passed. I’d had pretty good luck up to that point, and it was probably mid-morning when I caught sight of the school buildings. At the time I think only a couple had been published. I hiked on up the road. The sideboards wer...

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Howling at the Moon: “Road Trip—Pt VIII: Ever After”

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Howling at the Moon. Listen to them- the children of the night. What music they make! Friday, February 14, 2014. 8220;Road Trip—Pt VIII: Ever After”. Maybe he turned out to be Dorian, instead. As for me, I knew I needed to find a way to make a living. I had learned that lesson well from my parents. I had always tried to make myself independent. I had my grandmothers and my mother teach me to cook when I was very young. I was making my own pancakes from scratch by the time I was six. He said he’d he...

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Howling at the Moon: “Road Trip—Pt V”

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Howling at the Moon. Listen to them- the children of the night. What music they make! Tuesday, February 11, 2014. 8220;Road Trip—Pt V”. Not far away, the median between the east and west bound lanes provided a sparse grove of Russian olive trees, ubiquitous to the Interstate system for some reason, that would shield me somewhat from the passing cars. Strapped to my pack were a small tent and a sleeping bag. I had the means to build a fire, but this wasn’t a good place for that. At that moment, I was with...

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About anything that's (hopefully) interesting to read about. Monday, December 10, 2012. Even though it's been about six months since my last post, with finals and a long winter break ahead of me, I'm back to writing here. I'll hopefully be posting regularly soon, but here are a few announcements and things to expect soon. Kim Harrington is having a contest to win a special, marked-up copy of her newest novel, The Dead and Buried. More details can be found on her website. Wednesday, June 27, 2012. MiF is ...

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Michael Campbell Essays

Wednesday, February 28, 2018. Take a Load Off. Thanksgiving gluttony skidded right past Christmas indulgence and T-boned into New Year’s revelry. Cookies and cocktails everywhere every day. I can’t say no to them. That’d be rude. So here am I, as wide as I am tall, psyching myself up for another annual New Year diet. Judging by the relentless advertising, we’re all in the same shape. “Get a Whole New You! 8221; they promise, when what they mean is Get Rid of Half of You. I started with the Atkins Diet:.

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