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mere ramblingSaturday, September 5, 2015. Can i be old yet? Some days I do not wish to live. Not in the way I want to commit suicide. But I do not way to put the effort out to be alive. I look back at my life and I can not see a time when I felt happy. And anything I remember as happy I can find in it false senses, like obsessions, mascarading themselves as happiness to my then immature understanding of life. Thursday, October 17, 2013. My heart beats fast these days. My heart beats fast these days. I try to keep it.
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