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Karl reMarks: The Onion to Sue Lebanon for Making Its Headlines Look Reasonable
http://www.karlremarks.com/2013/02/the-onion-to-sue-lebanon-for-making-its.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. The Onion to Sue Lebanon for Making Its Headlines Look Reasonable. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Lebanon’s adoption of a new electoral law that requires members of each sect to vote for candidates from their sect only. A senior staff member at The Onion, Andy Mitchell, revealed the pressure that the magazine’s writers have been under in an interview earlier today. “How can we possibly satirize that? 8220;And why do they call it the Orthodox Electoral Law?
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Karl reMarks: Cities are intentionally ruining themselves to appeal to hipsters
http://www.karlremarks.com/2015/05/cities-are-intentionally-ruining.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Cities are intentionally ruining themselves to appeal to hipsters. The trend is going stronger and stronger, designers like Parset can’t cope with requests from clients and this had led to a boom in the sector. What ideas can we expect next? Is there a particular city that clients are interested in borrowing from more than the others? Labels: on the lighter side. Karl reMarks is a blog about Middle East politics and culture with a healthy dose of satire. In what has been ...
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Karl reMarks: A Valuable Guide to British Values
http://www.karlremarks.com/2015/05/a-valuable-guide-to-british-values.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. A Valuable Guide to British Values. What are British values though? I have a compiled a useful explainer about the core British values and identified the ways in which dastardly extremists are trying to undermine those cherished pillars of British culture. This also doubles up as a guide to tourists to minimise friction during your stay here. Here again extremists have been disrupting the British way of life by outrageously suggesting things like ‘why don’t yo...If, God f...
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Karl reMarks: Saudi Arabia Announces Historic Decision to Ban Everything
http://www.karlremarks.com/2013/03/saudi-arabia-announces-historic.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Saudi Arabia Announces Historic Decision to Ban Everything. In an unprecedented move in modern governance, Saudi Arabia announced today that it will introduce a ban on everything. The announcement has sent shockwaves throughout the kingdom and the Middle East, leaving many governments wondering ‘why didn’t we think of that first? 8217; The new rule is expected to revolutionise governance in this part of the world, and may indeed have wider repercussions. He added that his...
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Karl reMarks: Sound like an expert with these phrases about Middle East politics
http://www.karlremarks.com/2015/04/sound-like-expert-with-these-phrases.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Sound like an expert with these phrases about Middle East politics. 8216;It’s all about the oil’. This is the mother of all phrases about Middle East politics. It is one of the most effective phrases in the context of Middle Eastern geopolitics and one that can explain everything. It has even been used to explain Saudi Arabia’s 8-0 defeat at the hands of Germany in the 2002 World Cup and the backlash against Haifa Wehbe’s latest video clip. 8216;Saudi Arabia, pffft! A pop...
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Karl reMarks: Beirut to be demolished and turned into a giant car park
http://www.karlremarks.com/2015/04/beirut-to-be-demolished-and-turned-into.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Beirut to be demolished and turned into a giant car park. This being Beirut, competition for prime parking spots has already started, with people using political connections and offering large sums of money to guarantee a parking place in upmarket neighbourhood. The scheme will offer various sizes of parking places, from ordinary cars to the oversized Hummers that are too large for the streets of Beirut but are yet quite popular among affluent cretins. We have all wondere...
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Karl reMarks: Vintage Arab Maths Questions
http://www.karlremarks.com/2015/04/vintage-arab-maths-questions.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Vintage Arab Maths Questions. Everybody is talking about the maths puzzle from Singapore. Which got people discussing the question of Cheryl’s birthday. If you liked solving the puzzle, below are some vintage Arab maths questions, taken from textbooks from the Saddam and Gaddafi era. We hope you enjoy solving them. Problem 1 from Iraq. Answer: There is no crime in Saddam’s Iraq and this situation will never arise. Problem 2 from Syria. Problem 3 from Libya. Answer: “...
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Karl reMarks: Making it up as we go: Understanding British Democracy
http://www.karlremarks.com/2015/05/making-it-up-as-we-go-understanding.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Making it up as we go: Understanding British Democracy. The British parliamentary elections are due to take place in two days, surrounded by an air of uncertainty and the prospect of multiple non-definitive outcomes. What compounds the matter more is that very few people outside the UK genuinely understand how British democracy works. Indeed, very few people inside the UK understand how it works. Now you can appreciate how hard it must be for the Lib Dems. It all depends ...
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Karl reMarks: Exclusive: transcript of the intercepted al-Qaeda phone call that sparked embassy closures
http://www.karlremarks.com/2013/08/exclusive-transcript-of-intercepted-al.html
Three dictators walk into a bar. Exclusive: transcript of the intercepted al-Qaeda phone call that sparked embassy closures. Ring ring, ring ring. AZ: Assalamu Alaykom brother Nasir. NW: Assalamy Alaykon. Who’s speaking? AZ: I’m the big uncle. NW: The big uncle? AZ: No, not the uncle from your family. The uncle from the other thing. NW: What other thing? Is this a prank call? AZ: No, brother Nasir, I’m the uncle whose name rhymes with ‘dayman’. AZ: Oh, curse the devil, I’m al-Zawahiri. AZ: Never mind tha...
