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vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: Moments on hold

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2008/09/moments-on-hold.html

Tuesday, September 9, 2008. Yes, my perfect moment was with the perfect-on-paper guy. It wasn't the best moment of my life or anything like that. It was just like how I defined it - a moment that was exactly what it was supposed to be. I was sooooo nervous about meeting him. but when I got there it was just natural. The connection was immediate, and we both felt our initial instincts had been good. So comfortable. So right. So easy. We had an amazing time, and no, I'm not giving details :). On yet anothe...

vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: September 2008

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html

Monday, September 22, 2008. No such thing as perfection. Well, it didn't work out. Kinda crashed and burned, even. Can't say I'm surprised. Another emotional cripple. Must be the 13th tribe of Israel. I was a bit disappointed for a while, just because I really never meet anyone to get excited over. But I think I really jumped the gun on that one anyway. He didn't really merit the excitement. Maybe I gotta get outta here, LOL. Links to this post. Tuesday, September 9, 2008. Betwixt and between. I don'...

vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: May 2008

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html

Saturday, May 24, 2008. Who can't get no satisfaction? I took care of the not enough sex problem. In spades! Links to this post. Friday, May 23, 2008. I'm a loser, baby. Feeling a bit of a loser today. I hate that feeling. It's all part of the ups and downs of my life lately. I know that I create my own situations, I don't have anyone else to blame. But I really wish I could find that quiet place inside myself. That part of me that knows. Knows what to do, what I even want. Meanwhile, A. is actually ...

vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: Under consideration?

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2008/10/under-consideration.html

Wednesday, October 22, 2008. Cross-posted from a discussion I started on. I've been seeing this dom for, oh, about two and a half months. The original terms of our relationship were very casual. He's poly, freshly out of a relationship, not looking for a commitment. So we played, spent time together, but no "official" titles of any kind were given to the relationship. The other day, he flat out called me his sub in his blog, which led to a much more serious "wither goest the relationship? Part of the dis...

vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: November 2008

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html

Monday, November 10, 2008. It took me a while, and a lot of thinking, and talking about it. But in the end I realized: I knew all along that I wanted to take the next step with Mr. C. Whatever it was. I just needed to get comfortable with the idea. It was mine to ask for, and I did need to ask. I have placed the keys to the kingdom in the hands of Cheetah. From today, he is the master who leads me and tests me and protects me and enables me and helps me to develop and grow, to reach my rightful place.

vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: Confusion

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2008/12/confusion.html

Monday, December 8, 2008. I haven't been here much lately. Not because I don't have what to write, life truly has been a roller coaster ride. Mostly because I don't really have the time. Don't have the energy. Am not clear on what I want to say. Today, I'm feeling sad and doubtful. Not for the first time. I'm feeling a strong urge to run, to end things, to say "fuck it, this just isn't me" and stop trying. But here are some highlights:. I just need to decide if I can live with this. It's what it all come...

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My Submissive Self: March 2009

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html

Saturday, March 21, 2009. So much has happened. After my last post, it became clear to me that for whatever reason, I'm not able to disengage from this relationship. So I threw myself into it even more. Committed myself like never before. Even now I can't say why, exactly. Why I was so sure there was something of such supreme value for me to gain from it, or if I was addicted, or weak. And now it's over. But when I came back from Argentina, I was so sad. And I really missed him. And he really mis...I am ...

vestris-journey.blogspot.com

My Submissive Self: Aftermath

http://vestris-journey.blogspot.com/2009/03/aftermath.html

Saturday, March 21, 2009. So much has happened. After my last post, it became clear to me that for whatever reason, I'm not able to disengage from this relationship. So I threw myself into it even more. Committed myself like never before. Even now I can't say why, exactly. Why I was so sure there was something of such supreme value for me to gain from it, or if I was addicted, or weak. And now it's over. But when I came back from Argentina, I was so sad. And I really missed him. And he really mis...I am ...