thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: October 2011
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html
Saturday, October 29, 2011. Saucy, was your window always. The sentence snapped me from my usual Wednesday afternoon activity of lazing on the couch and glaring expressionlessly at Jeremy Kyles latest batch of tv-zoo-animals with my housemates. Such is the tedium of University life between dragging myself out to lectures, and dragging myself in from nights out. Your window. come here. Was it always like that? Someone had tried to break into the house! Not just into the house, into my. The tv channels of ...
thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: Getting Absolutely Smashed
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/getting-absolutely-smashed.html
Saturday, October 29, 2011. Saucy, was your window always. The sentence snapped me from my usual Wednesday afternoon activity of lazing on the couch and glaring expressionlessly at Jeremy Kyles latest batch of tv-zoo-animals with my housemates. Such is the tedium of University life between dragging myself out to lectures, and dragging myself in from nights out. Your window. come here. Was it always like that? Someone had tried to break into the house! Not just into the house, into my. The tv channels of ...
thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: And to my 17 year old self I say...NA NA NA NA NAAAA
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/and-to-my-17-year-old-self-i-sayna-na.html
Monday, February 21, 2011. And to my 17 year old self I say.NA NA NA NA NAAAA. Have you ever felt your whole body stiffen, and then sink and soften as though it were fudge in a furnace? Felt the deep searing pain as you swallow hard and wipe the stinging beads of sweat from your brow? Ever felt your stomach flop about like a fish just swiped from a river and discarded on a marshy bank? Ever been uncomfortably conscious of every hair on your head, every step that you take? Every eyelash and fingernail?
thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: July 2011
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html
Friday, July 29, 2011. What I Did On My Holidays. I triumphantly zipped my suitcase shut and gazed adoringly at the positively shite Irish sky outside my window. In one week I would return to my grey homeland, bronzed, sizzling, gorgeous and giggling coquettishly at all my mischievous and marvellous stories from my holiday in Magaluf. What I Did On My Holidays. On my second night, a handsome-ish boy had the severe misfortune of crossing my path. He was carrying a rose, and he was Scottish. We plonked awk...
thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: August 2011
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html
Tuesday, August 2, 2011. What I Did On My Holidays - Part Two. Night one. After a three hour flight delay, *shakes fist at Aer Lingus* we were pretty low spirited and fed up. That is, until we walked onto the strip and ONE average looking British guy said ' Awwrite, You Oirish guurls cumin inta our bawr? From that moment on we behaved like nymphomaniac alcoholics on day release. With the mix of alcohol and my alien surroundings, I was extremely irked. Heyam, yeah Snape.Yeah you should probably come b...
thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: June 2011
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2011_06_01_archive.html
Thursday, June 2, 2011. The Perfect Bikini Diet Plan. That means most of us are now sweating bullets about our Bikini Diets. Fear not, I present you with The Saucy Cow's (tried and tested) Guide to Bikini Diets. Widely publicise diet. Decide to put yourself under the pressures that celebrities in the spotlight are and attract everyone's attention to the pounds which will soon be dropping off you like flies. Announce it with much aplomb. (' I mean it girls! Cry into muesli (dry, no milk) and accept fact t...
thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com
Scribbles: March 2012
http://thesaucycowblog.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html
Wednesday, March 28, 2012. How to Survive a Hangover. Awake, knowing less about anything than you have ever known in your life. The only feeling your conscious of is a deep foreboding. Your mind and body have been scattered from each other. Quite like how you scattered your shoes: you can see from here that one has ended up gallantly dangling from the curtain pole, while you're inexplicably confident that its companion is at your friend Tony's house. Crawl pathetically into bed, (dress and eyelashes stil...
akenbosch.blogspot.com
The Decline & Fall Of Aken W. Bosch: Romulan
http://akenbosch.blogspot.com/2010/07/romulan.html
The Decline and Fall Of Aken W. Bosch. Friday, July 30, 2010. Saddened by this initial failure to gather reconnaisance on incoming interstellar detritus, the situation was rescued when an informant. A MUSLIM first officer (the beard's a dead giveaway), another woman apparently allowed to sit on the bridge and menstruate continuously and, disgustingly, a what appears to be an individual with a tortoise attached to his forehead as ordinance officer! With which to purchase weapons one consulted the DART tim...
akenbosch.blogspot.com
The Decline & Fall Of Aken W. Bosch: July 2010
http://akenbosch.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html
The Decline and Fall Of Aken W. Bosch. Friday, July 30, 2010. Saddened by this initial failure to gather reconnaisance on incoming interstellar detritus, the situation was rescued when an informant. A MUSLIM first officer (the beard's a dead giveaway), another woman apparently allowed to sit on the bridge and menstruate continuously and, disgustingly, a what appears to be an individual with a tortoise attached to his forehead as ordinance officer! With which to purchase weapons one consulted the DART tim...