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The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Thursday, October 2, 2014. A Grasshopper Turns Down an Opportunity to be Anthologized in Order to Take His Material on a Spoken-Word Tour. Above is Garrison, the grasshopper. This photo was taken just a moment before he got the phone call from his agent that his poem was accepted to be published in the latest edition of Bugs and Ballads. Turning the offer down was the hardest decision in Garrison’s life. Monday, June 10, 2013.

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The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Thursday, October 2, 2014. A Grasshopper Turns Down an Opportunity to be Anthologized in Order to Take His Material on a Spoken-Word Tour. Above is Garrison, the grasshopper. This photo was taken just a moment before he got the phone call from his agent that his poem was accepted to be published in the latest edition of Bugs and Ballads. Turning the offer down was the hardest decision in Garrison’s life. Monday, June 10, 2013.

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Off-Kilter-Critters | off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com Reviews

https://off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Thursday, October 2, 2014. A Grasshopper Turns Down an Opportunity to be Anthologized in Order to Take His Material on a Spoken-Word Tour. Above is Garrison, the grasshopper. This photo was taken just a moment before he got the phone call from his agent that his poem was accepted to be published in the latest edition of Bugs and Ballads. Turning the offer down was the hardest decision in Garrison’s life. Monday, June 10, 2013.

INTERNAL PAGES

off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com

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Off-Kilter-Critters: December 2010

http://www.off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com/2010_12_01_archive.html

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Thursday, December 30, 2010. Bunny Angry Letter to Apple. Above is a picture of the last rabbit Steve Jobs would ever want to come across in a blind alley. Below is a complaint letter from Reggie, the world's most frustrated lagomorph, detailing his issues with the wildly popular Apple iPad. Tuesday, December 28, 2010. The above is Fifi (left) commiserating with her pal Buster on the rec room couch of the La Veranda Assisted Liv...

2

Off-Kilter-Critters: A Cat Protests Apple's New Non-Cat-Named OS

http://www.off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com/2013/06/a-cat-protests-apples-new-non-cat-named.html

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Monday, June 10, 2013. A Cat Protests Apple's New Non-Cat-Named OS. The above is a Maine Coon cat named Enoch who thinks the new OS should have been named Apple BigassKitty. The below is his letter to the Mac powers that be. Dear Jony Ive,. As such, I've decided to learn Linux, and will be trading my iPhone in for a Samsung. This is what it's come to. Also, watch out; I pooped in your shoes. June 10, 2013 at 12:39 PM. Above is a...

3

Off-Kilter-Critters: A Crab Contemplates Autocannibalism

http://www.off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com/2013/06/a-crab-contemplates-autocannibalism.html

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Sunday, June 2, 2013. A Crab Contemplates Autocannibalism. Above is Corson, who may not survive this post. Below is his unseemly confession. Once again an aquarium visitor in a bright red shirt reminded me of an inviting pool of cocktail sauce. I want to jump in, dipping my entire body and soul in the condiment. Then, I dream of gnawing away at my extremities like I'm the only course of my last meal. Can you see me, diary? Above...

4

Off-Kilter-Critters: January 2011

http://www.off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Friday, January 21, 2011. Gazelle Noise Complaint Letter to Zoo Management. Above is a picture of Garth-Floyd (foreground) sunning himself with his half-brother Cleavon just hours before writing this letter. Below is Garth-Floyd's grievance letter, which cites his condemnation of zoo's owl population - namely their obtrusive hooting. I’ll break it down for you - nice and simple like. I spent all. So, to get on with it, I need my...

5

Off-Kilter-Critters: Seymour Seagull's Second Suicide Note

http://www.off-kilter-critters.blogspot.com/2011/01/seymour-seagulls-second-suicide-note.html

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Monday, January 17, 2011. Seymour Seagull's Second Suicide Note. The above is a picture of Seymour. Perhaps his mental illness stems from the fact that he thinks he's a seagull though he's clearly. not. The below is his second (last? Suicide note. To read his first, click here: Seymore's First Note. Well, as you might have guessed, I'm still alive. Not a zombie, not a vampire, just a forsaken soul. Gazelle Noise Complaint Letter...

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kristeno.com

kristeno.com – Writer & Whimsy Aficionado

http://kristeno.com/about-kristen

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. About & Contact. Kristen Bobst is a graduate of USC’s Writing for Screen and Television MFA program (2010). She is a comedy writer, whimsy aficionado, and fan of animals (the kind that talk and the kind that don’t). Prior to USC, Kristen attended the University of Florida (Go Gators! Kristen also wrote a few rad lifestyle videos for Big Frame’s The Wonderly Way. She currently reports ...

kristeno.com

Mackerelmore – Bait Shop – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/mackerelmore-bait-shop

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. Mackerelmore – Bait Shop. We just released out parody of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Thrift Shop.” Note: It’s full of fish. Enjoy! Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Click to share on Google (Opens in new window). Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window). April 15, 2013. May 17, 2013. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Your email address will not be published.

kristeno.com

DIY Face Masks – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/diy-face-masks

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. In this segment I wrote for The Wonderly Way, Christine and Hannah experiment with easy, all natural face masks. Spoiler alert: Hannah eats guac off Christine’s face (epic). Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Click to share on Google (Opens in new window). Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window). May 5, 2013. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Catporation Web Series #1.

kristeno.com

kristeno.com – Page 2 – Writer & Whimsy Aficionado

http://kristeno.com/page/2

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. About & Contact. Kristen Bobst is a graduate of USC’s Writing for Screen and Television MFA program (2010). She is a comedy writer, whimsy aficionado, and fan of animals (the kind that talk and the kind that don’t). Prior to USC, Kristen attended the University of Florida (Go Gators! Kristen also wrote a few rad lifestyle videos for Big Frame’s The Wonderly Way. She currently reports ...

kristeno.com

42 Haiku & 42 Ways to Fold a Towel – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/42-haiku-ways-to-fold-a-towel

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. 42 Haiku & 42 Ways to Fold a Towel. In celebration of Towel Day. Don’t Panic. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Click to share on Google (Opens in new window). Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window). May 25, 2013. May 25, 2013. Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.

kristeno.com

thekristeno – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/author/thekristeno

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. Space post on The Mary Sue. I recently contributed to rad geeky site The Mary Sue. Check it out. February 28, 2016. February 28, 2016. Leave a comment on Space post on The Mary Sue. Cool I write about it now. Photo: NASA/Hubble Heritage Team). Check out my articles for The Mother Nature network. From comets to space veggies, I’ve got the cosmic beat down. December 1, 2015. Competition...

kristeno.com

Videos – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/category/videos

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. 42 Haiku & 42 Ways to Fold a Towel. In celebration of Towel Day. Don’t Panic. May 25, 2013. May 25, 2013. Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. Leave a comment on 42 Haiku & 42 Ways to Fold a Towel. Catporation Web Series #1. Of cat videos. Entrepreneurial feline Sherman decides to go into the land development business. May 17, 2013. May 17, 2013. May 5, 2013. April 19, 2013. May 17, 2013.

kristeno.com

Blogs – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/blogs

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. Kristen currently writes two blogs: Sock Puppet Burlesque and Off-Kilter Critters. Follows the exploits of one Penelope Boots as she falls deeper and deeper into the world of stripper laundry. Explores what happens with slightly unhinged animals start writing down their feelings. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Click to share on Google (Opens in new window).

kristeno.com

Words and Pictures – kristeno.com

http://kristeno.com/category/words-and-pictures

Writer and Whimsy Aficionado. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. Category: Words and Pictures. It’s all fun and games until someone gets eaten. June 25, 2013. June 25, 2013. Leave a comment on Hungry Hungry Hannibals. About & Contact. Link to Linked In. Link: Sock Puppet Burlesque. Link: Off Kilter Critters. Proudly powered by WordPress.

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Off-Kilter-Critters

The letters, diaries, and musings of slightly chemically imbalanced animals. Thursday, October 2, 2014. A Grasshopper Turns Down an Opportunity to be Anthologized in Order to Take His Material on a Spoken-Word Tour. Above is Garrison, the grasshopper. This photo was taken just a moment before he got the phone call from his agent that his poem was accepted to be published in the latest edition of Bugs and Ballads. Turning the offer down was the hardest decision in Garrison’s life. Monday, June 10, 2013.

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