archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: Editorial: Historic MaNappies® and Onesie-Funsies® Deal Heralds End of Western Civilisation
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2013/02/editorial-historic-manappies-and-onesie.html
Friday, 22 February 2013. Editorial: Historic MaNappies and Onesie-Funsies Deal Heralds End of Western Civilisation. Dr Margot Fontaine DPhil. Estern civilisation was dealt a fatal blow on Tuesday when newly founded startup Manappies signed an historic deal with Onesie-Funsies, the company behind babywear for fully fucking grown men. MaNappies founder and chairman Percival Baxter-Smyth III mused on the rapid rise in popularity of this latest deconstruction of the human condition. The Onesie-Funsies-MaNap...
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: October 2011
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html
Friday, 21 October 2011. Muammar Gaddafi Dead: Post Mortem To Be Aired Live. As the blood-lust frenzy for images of a dead Muammar Gaddafi reaches fever pitch the unusual step has been taken to have the dictator’s autopsy filmed in front of a live audience and broadcast live around the world. Four year old Timothy Grayson just. Wants his Fireman Sam. 8220;The gore-soaked images that you have witnessed on your television screens and across countless publications and the internet is just the beginning!
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: January 2013
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2013_01_01_archive.html
Sunday, 27 January 2013. Rabid Cinema-Goers Fucking Ecstatic About Latest Hollywood Remakes. 2013 is shaping up to be yet another year of solid filmmaking and remakes galore; and cinema-goers could not be happier. With not one original film being included in the 2013 movie roster, rabid devotees of the silver screen are ready to slavishly lap up any offering at all that Hollywood shits directly into their eyeballs. 8220;Shit’s going to be awesome” he added. Steven Spielberg has promised fans his reimagin...
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: May 2012
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2012_05_01_archive.html
Tuesday, 22 May 2012. Johnny Depp Cancer Scare Gives Tobacco Industry Pause For Thought. In the wake of the news that smouldering hot Hollywood actor Johnny Depp may have actually contracted lung and throat cancer the heads of North America's tobacco industry today made a surprise joint announcement that cigarette manufacturing and sale in the United States would cease with immediate effect. Speaking at an emergency conference in Washington DC, CEO of Phillip Morris US. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: Camel Cigarettes Celebrate 100 Years Of Killing Their Customers
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2013/10/camel-cigarettes-celebrate-100-years-of.html
Thursday, 10 October 2013. Camel Cigarettes Celebrate 100 Years Of Killing Their Customers. Camel, the smooth tasting, flavoursome and addictive cigarette brand, has unveiled a sleek new advertising campaign to mark its one hundred years in the business of killing its customers. With the new strapline, “ We go the extra mile. 8220;We may have survived two world wars, the atom bomb and even the invention of disco, but that doesn’t mean we can become complacent.“. 8220;Our product may just be a cylindrical...
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: September 2012
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html
Monday, 3 September 2012. Paul Ryan Terminates Pregnancy After Just First Trimester. It was hailed as the most audacious political statement and social experiment of the 21. Century; a human male being impregnated and bringing a pregnancy to full term. But now, just three short months later it has ended, mired in controversy. The method of conception? Above: The maximum security prison where. Ryan conceived his unborn child. In an emotional interview with Wisconsin’s foremost Republican Party onlin...
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: November 2011
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html
Friday, 25 November 2011. Ireland Gearing Up For A Merry Capitalismas. Another year flies by and citizens of the tiny island nation of Ireland realise they’re a year older and still nowhere near following through on that emigration plan they talked so much about back in 2010. The Capitalismas Season promises to sooth, if only temporarily, those open sores caused by continuous leeching of the public’s pockets by an insidious and duplicitous Labour/Fine Gael government. Consumerist shrine for morning prayer.
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: April 2011
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2011_04_01_archive.html
Friday, 8 April 2011. Nicolas Sarkozy: Last Minute U-Turn On French "Burqa Ban". In a move that has both surprised his critics and infuriated his allies French President Nicolas Sarkozy has decided to reverse the ruling signed into law last October and due for enactment this coming April 11th which would have seen the wearing of the burqa and niqab by Muslim women banned outright. Do you know how long it usually takes to locate my wife when I come to pick her up from the womens group? Amnesty Internation...
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: Chinese Man Looks Oddly Out Of Place At STAR WARS Auditions
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2013/12/chinese-man-looks-oddly-out-of-place-at.html
Wednesday, 18 December 2013. Chinese Man Looks Oddly Out Of Place At STAR WARS Auditions. Mr Chung joins the hopeful masses at London’s O2. As the media juggernaut that is the Star Wars Episode VII-IX Auditions Tour. Jumps to hyperdrive and invades Europe, fans and hopefuls alike were treated to the baffling sight of a Chinaman joining the queue of the estimated 25,000 people that turned up to fulfil that lifelong dream and try to secure a role in the next three episodes of the grand space opera. The pre...
archie-templar.blogspot.com
The Templar Times: September 2011
http://archie-templar.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html
Monday, 26 September 2011. JJ Abrams Promises At Least 87% More Lens Flare In Star Trek Sequel. As Trekkers ©. Trekkies™ and Trekkists. Across the known universe collectively wet their nappies at the news that Hollywood wunderkind J.J.J.J.Abrams will indeed helm the next installment of the Star Trek franchise, the director himself has let slip that the special effects department will be spending a whopping $165 Million on lighting effects alone. Too murky." Star Trek 2009. More lens flare needed.". 8221;...
