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Crossing Border Stories: Ownership

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Friday, December 7, 2012. Have you ever shared with your spouse about how they had hurt you and your spouse became defensive, argumentative, avoidant, or contemptuous? Have you ever hurt your spouse, they addressed the issue with you, and you became defensive, argumentative, avoidant, or contemptuous? In both of these situations, either you or your spouse, or both of you, are doing something that will lead to years of frustration in your marriage - avoiding ownership. Telling on ourselves builds trust.

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Crossing Border Stories: The Rituals of Pursuit

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Friday, February 1, 2013. The Rituals of Pursuit. Men, our women want to be pursued. Our pursuit sometimes involves flowers, an evening out on the town, and a candle light dinner. However, a stronger form of pursuit involves the daily rituals we practice over and over again to show our women that we think about them, want them, and continually want to do so. When I get to work, I always try to send a private Facebook message when I arrive. Sometimes it's very short like, "Hi! Feel free to submit a comment.

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Crossing Border Stories: A Happy Husband is a Happy Life

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Friday, September 21, 2012. A Happy Husband is a Happy Life. Now that I’m getting into the whole marriage arena, I’m starting to hear all sorts of expression, commentary, and proverbs about marriage. A couple months ago, I heard someone say, “I do believe in the expression that a ‘happy wife is a happy life’.”. As I thought about writing another blog entry on marriage, a recollection of some friends of mine came to mind and I thought, “Hmm, I know a couple who has done the opposite.”. Do Good Once a Day.

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Crossing Border Stories: Struggle

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Sunday, September 16, 2012. My wife asked me to write a blog about some of the struggles we have faced both prior to marriage and within marriage. I can understand why she's requested this one. A lot of my blog entries could make it seem like we are the perfect couple and why can't I live up to that or why can't my spouse be more like him or her. The truth is - we all struggle. Today, we were talking about finances on our drive. We recently sold our car and have some money. Sounds great right? Gottman on...

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Crossing Border Stories: Affecting Your Husband

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Monday, October 22, 2012. My wife affects me to the core when she tells me what she knows I can do well. In particular as men, we are interested in whether or not our work counts. Does what we do really matter? Does it do anything to you? Do you admire our work? After listening what I did and how I did it, if she says, "Wow. You are really good at working with your hands. This is an excellent piece of work," then I'm much more deeply affected. It does something to us. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom).

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Crossing Border Stories: Your Health Isn't Just for You

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Tuesday, December 18, 2012. Your Health Isn't Just for You. What you have to decide is whether or not you want to do good to your spouse by taking care of your health the best you can. Here are some simple ways you can take care of you and your spouse. By taking care of your health. Get private health insurance if you don't have it through work. Get private health insurance for catastrophic events if you can't afford a regular policy. Go to the doctor when you feel sick - don't try to ride it out. You mu...

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Crossing Border Stories: Getting Outside Help

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Thursday, October 4, 2012. My wife and I meet with a counselor. We do so extensively. If you've been reading these previous blog entries of mine, you might be tempted to wonder how we are doing so well. The reality is that apart from outside help, we wouldn't be doing very well right now at all. We need help from the outside. A lot of you might be thinking, I don't need help from the outside. I don't need a counselor. My wife and I are doing fine. My husband and I are doing fine. October 16, 2012.

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Crossing Border Stories: Take a Walk

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012. My wife told me to write this blog - Take a Walk. One of the things we really like to do is take walks. We've realized this is something that is very important to us. See, we're really good at talking and communicating, but sometimes it helps to do so while taking a walk. I'm not sure really why, but the physical activity plus talking works really well. Walks tend to bring out scary conversations like, "Can we talk about our dreams and our future? Calling for No Reason.

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Crossing Border Stories: Trust: More Than a Character Trait

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Tuesday, January 29, 2013. Trust: More Than a Character Trait. Trusting each other doesn't mean that [a couple] will always put the other's needs ahead of their own - that is unlikely to be healthy. But it does mean that their happiness will be interconnected. They will each change their owwn behavior to increase the other's payoffs. What Makes Love Last? Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Trust: More Than a Character Trait. View my complete profile. Simple template. Powered by Blogger.

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Crossing Border Stories: Truth, Grace, Fear, and Courage

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Sunday, March 3, 2013. Truth, Grace, Fear, and Courage. Our greatest fear is relationship itself. Marriage is an invitation to know and be known, to love and be loved, to risk exposure and vulnerability. This invitation is both our greatest desire and our greatest fear. The only way we can risk entering relationship within marriage is through truth, grace, fear, and courage. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Truth, Grace, Fear, and Courage. Easter and The Fear of God (not exactly what you t.