phutatorius.blogspot.com

Phutatorius

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Monday, August 15, 2005. Today I called a customer service number. A machine picked up, and a recording told me to "Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed." The recording then said, "If you are trying to reach [customer service number], please press 1 now.". There was no other menu option. In anticipation of (2) objections. Sunday, June 12, 2005. Now and again to read about New Jersey's Amazing Turnpike Witch. It's not our faul...

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Phutatorius | phutatorius.blogspot.com Reviews

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Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Monday, August 15, 2005. Today I called a customer service number. A machine picked up, and a recording told me to Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. The recording then said, If you are trying to reach [customer service number], please press 1 now.. There was no other menu option. In anticipation of (2) objections. Sunday, June 12, 2005. Now and again to read about New Jersey's Amazing Turnpike Witch. It's not our faul...

<META> KEYWORDS

1 phutatorius

2 true story

3 posted by phutatorius

4 you exclusive pricks

5 in inuit

6 pameiyut

7 whence that entitlement

8 a monogrammed boulder

9 eighteen inches

10 to stay

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Phutatorius | phutatorius.blogspot.com Reviews

https://phutatorius.blogspot.com

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Monday, August 15, 2005. Today I called a customer service number. A machine picked up, and a recording told me to "Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed." The recording then said, "If you are trying to reach [customer service number], please press 1 now.". There was no other menu option. In anticipation of (2) objections. Sunday, June 12, 2005. Now and again to read about New Jersey's Amazing Turnpike Witch. It's not our faul...

INTERNAL PAGES

phutatorius.blogspot.com

1

Phutatorius

http://phutatorius.blogspot.com/2003_07_01_archive.html

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Tuesday, July 29, 2003. My apologies to the breath-bated audience (of one? For my failure to post. Today's entry is far from pithy, but maybe it will get the juices flowing a bit:. I flew into the Pittsburgh Airport Friday, and from there hitched a ride to West Virginia for a bachelor party, but not without a stop to a nearby branch office of The Lube. Does not always bring a desired result from the board room. Big Business makes clear that i...

2

Phutatorius

http://phutatorius.blogspot.com/2003_10_01_archive.html

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Thursday, October 30, 2003. I got the "Park Place" game piece in McDonald's Monopoly. Yesterday. If you get "Boardwalk," don't pay this guy. First I'm willing to go as low as a hundred grand. In anticipation of (0) objections. Sunday, October 19, 2003. You just need to stick it out. In anticipation of (0) objections. Thursday, October 16, 2003. Today's Game Six edition of Haiku Sports Recap:. Joe dialed: twenty-six rings,. The feeling receded fro...

3

Phutatorius

http://phutatorius.blogspot.com/2004/12/if-you-really-want-to-know-what-will.html

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Wednesday, December 08, 2004. If you really want to know what will get all that wax off your apple peel . . ." began the man in the top hat and Renaissance Era neck-ruffle. I stopped my frenzied polishing, looked up into his eyes (one brown, one blue), and nodded to indicate Yes. Yes, I would. It's urine does that trick." And with that, the man winked at me and vanished from my office doorway, as quickly as he came. At December 8, 2004 at 12:59 PM.

4

Phutatorius

http://phutatorius.blogspot.com/2004/11/friend-of-mine-solicited-my-thoughts.html

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Wednesday, November 24, 2004. A friend of mine solicited my thoughts on Saturday's OSU-Michigan football game. I wrote up a lengthy response to him and mailed it off, and then it occurred to me that I had not posted here in some time, and my dissertation on the Buckeye win was probably Chestnut-worthy, most notably because it's about time somebody got on ABC's case about their programming. And no, I'm not talking about Desperate Housewives. He wa...

5

Phutatorius

http://phutatorius.blogspot.com/2004/12/only-i-didnt-say-fudge.html

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Saturday, December 25, 2004. Only I didn't say, ' Fudge. Merry Christmas, everybody! Â Â July 2003. Â Â August 2003. Â Â September 2003. Â Â October 2003. Â Â November 2003. Â Â December 2003. Â Â January 2004. Â Â February 2004. Â Â March 2004. Â Â April 2004. Â Â May 2004. Â Â June 2004. Â Â July 2004. Â Â August 2004. Â Â September 2004. Â Â October 2004. Â Â November 2004. Â Â December 2004. Â Â January 2005. Â Â February 2005. Â Â April 2005.

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phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: Chickenpox!

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007/05/chickenpox_12.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Saturday, May 12, 2007. I've got them, too. SON OF A BITCH. We'll be rescheduling the hard-sell to the Yali tribesmen. Everything pushed back three weeks. 'Saright &#151 I'll just hole up and watch some video. PePe just gave me the first 5.5 seasons of The Sopranos. On DVD &#151 pirated through a cousin of his in Lima. He didn't have to pay them a cent. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). 161;Cinco de MAyo!

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: 100th Post!

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2008/06/100th-post.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Friday, June 01, 2007. So it occurred to me that this post would be my 100th, and I thought I should serve up something special to mark the centepostal moment. And that's what I've been doing for the past week &#151 all week. 151 trying to come up with something to write that would be worthy of a hundredth post. A whole week lost to cogitatin' and ruminatin', and what do I have to show for it? Phutatorius, Part I.

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: The Morning After

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007/05/morning-after.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Sunday, May 06, 2007. Well, the late morning, anyway . . . If you hadn't gathered as much from my last post, it turns out I was really lit up last night. In fact, things got so bad that at one point I was out on a corner of the Patio, mashing pretty hard with a chick that I thought was the spitting image of Flora Pachado (the Most Beautiful Girl I've Ever Seen in Peru, if you remember). 161;Cinco de MAyo!

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: Naming Contest Winner

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007/04/naming-contest-winner.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Thursday, April 26, 2007. I know, I know, people: I've let this go on too long. It's been over two months since I announced two finalists in the Contest To Name My Sea Monkey Brother ( see. Feb 22, 2007). Announcing a winner is long overdue, then &#151 both for the contestants and for my Sea Monkey Brother, who I'm sure would welcome a bit of closure on the Nomenclature Front. All right, then. Here's goes. Plus I've ...

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: Chickenpox!

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007/05/chickenpox.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Monday, May 07, 2007. Sea Monkey Brother Jarvis has the chickenpox! What a stunning reversal for the Terrarium Terror. No sooner is he given a name than he's covered in a raft of unsightly blotches. What is it with my peeps getting sick like this? Ho there, Phutatorius! You say. Why all this consultation with doctors? Don't you know chickenpox when you see it? I guess there's always PhotoShop. 161;Cinco de MAyo!

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: May 2007

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Wednesday, May 23, 2007. I find myself bereft and bereaved. Not only is this a tragic and unfair result, but I'll surely miss the Hispano-Jersey flounce-and-pout stylings of Celia Juarez, sister of Adobe Fortifications Foreman Edgardo Juarez, and inspired real-time interpreter of Miss Drea de Matteo's lines during this period of illness. Saturday, May 12, 2007. Monday, May 07, 2007. What a stunning reversal for the T...

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: ¡Cinco de MAyo!

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007/05/cinco-de-mayo.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Sunday, May 06, 2007. 161;Cinco de MAyo! Oh oh oh ohhh ohoh ho ho am I hamered. Fuapachewita. That's Spanish, you know &#151, specail Phutatorius diale3ct for ";celebrate goood times cm'on! Anyway, any excuse to trhow a party, right? Off the TiVO. I know, I know, you here all this talk about "assimilation," but sometimes it's not the worsdt thing in the world to give people a taste of home. Ya know? Now I don't go lo...

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: April 2007

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Thursday, April 26, 2007. I know, I know, people: I've let this go on too long. It's been over two months since I announced two finalists in the Contest To Name My Sea Monkey Brother ( see. Feb 22, 2007). Announcing a winner is long overdue, then &#151 both for the contestants and for my Sea Monkey Brother, who I'm sure would welcome a bit of closure on the Nomenclature Front. All right, then. Here's goes. Plus I've ...

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: March 2007

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Thursday, March 29, 2007. Re: Your Policy Questions. And send me some TUMs. In the meantime, I'll shift some of the overflow to the workers, see if I can't buy myself a few "Excellents" on the surveys they're completing for the feds. Some of you have asked what I intend to do once I've seized Absolute Power over the Geopoliticus. What will you change, Phutatorius? How will you make life better for us? So I apologize ...

phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com

Phutatorius Rides Again: January 2007

http://phutsieridesagain.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html

Wherein the Aforementioned Protagonist Seizes Control of the World . . . or Dies Trying. Sunday, January 28, 2007. What &#151 you thought I. But she never listens. It was also mentioned &#151 by an unnamed staff member I will hold in disfavor for at least the next couple of days &#151 that I might not be the best candidate to make initial diplomatic overtures. This after I suggested that we propose certain modifications to the Yali Prophecy, to wit: that the words " his personal guard. In the meantime, I...

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Phutatorius

Serving up inflammatory chestnuts since . . . well, today. Monday, August 15, 2005. Today I called a customer service number. A machine picked up, and a recording told me to "Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed." The recording then said, "If you are trying to reach [customer service number], please press 1 now.". There was no other menu option. In anticipation of (2) objections. Sunday, June 12, 2005. Now and again to read about New Jersey's Amazing Turnpike Witch. It's not our faul...

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