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Team Ewan: October 3 & 4
http://www.team-ewan.com/2011/10/october-3-4.html
October 3 and 4. Everything goes back to this day. Just the evening before, his blue eyes looked into mine and he was moving his lips as if he were talking to me. I could not get over how sweet he was. I was back there again, and it was as if my heart had stopped and fallen out of my body. October 3 was the day we gathered around his bed for the last time. And it was just after midnight - just a minute or two into October 4 - that his broken heart beat its last. And we left the hospital without him.
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Team Ewan: Dear Ewan
http://www.team-ewan.com/2010/11/dear-ewan.html
It won't always be this way, I know. Even now, we are able to welcome laughter and life into our days. But it does not surprise me that most of the time, I need to let the newness of it all settle more into my bones, and I find myself needing to let go again and again. Labels: letters to ewan. Reading quiet. I feel almost as if Im eavesdropping. How I wish I could carry that ache for you. November 6, 2010 at 12:07 PM. Still loving and praying. November 6, 2010 at 12:11 PM. November 6, 2010 at 12:22 PM.
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Team Ewan: A Holy Moment
http://www.team-ewan.com/2010/10/holy-moment.html
Our dear friend Mary was at the baby shower that was held exactly a week before Ewan was born. A gifted photographer, she offered to be there for any important moments we wanted documented. We hoped and prayed that we wouldn't be calling on her for a night like this one. Click to view larger image. I see the cross. I see the Trinity. I see the Blessed Mother. I see the dream and the nightmare holding hands, the darkness and the light bleeding together. That photo is amazing. October 7, 2010 at 9:21 AM.
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Team Ewan: Ewan's Birth Story
http://www.team-ewan.com/2010/09/ewans-birth-story.html
I won't lie: it's a long. One I wrote here, and it's probably full of grammatical errors of which I would normally be ashamed - but since I just had a baby, I'm giving myself a pass. Just letting you know ahead of time! I wrote recently about how my blood pressure. We took in a collective sharp intake of breath. Once more, we were faced with a reality we hadn’t quite expected. Top graph (in blue) are baby's heart rate. Bottom lines are my contractions. That Ewan. What a little stinker! She said, choking ...
team-ewan.com
Team Ewan: Comments Policy
http://www.team-ewan.com/p/comments-policy.html
Many visitors to Team Ewan. Have noticed that the ability to comment has been disabled, and many have wondered why. When I made the decision to disable comments, I knew that this would likely lose followers on the blog and on the Team Ewan page on Facebook, and so far, that is exactly what I've seen happen. But that was a risk I was more than willing to take. So why take the risk of committing blogging suicide? My reasons are simple. This space has become for me an online journal. Another reason I disabl...
team-ewan.com
Team Ewan: Photography
http://www.team-ewan.com/p/photography.html
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I learned that someone had stolen my photos. They downloaded my weekly belly profile shots and posted them to a social networking site as their own. Think about that: my. Pregnancy that followed the death of my son. It was not only wrong and intrusive, but incredibly violating. I was sharing our story in good faith, and someone sought to take advantage of it. This should be obvious, but now it's out in the universe for all to see:. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).
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Team Ewan: Like the beginning.
http://www.team-ewan.com/2013/04/like-beginning.html
Sometimes I feel like I'm back at the beginning again. Most days, I'm indistinguishable from any first-time mom winging her way through toddlerhood. I sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and make my fingers and thumbs dance up before the rain comes down to wassssshhhhh. It is these and a thousand other tiny instances of dailyness that keep me focused on what's right in front of me. Someone else who, I'm guessing, understands all too well that grief is a journey without a finish line, a hole with no bottom. As long ...
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Team Ewan: It's like this.
http://www.team-ewan.com/2013/01/its-like-this.html
It's inevitable with these milestones we celebrate with Austen, the wondering - What if Ewan had been here? James says he hasn't seen an expression quite like the one Austen had when she witnessed this exchange: sheer joy and unmitigated delight. She squealed with glee, pumping her arms excitedly up and down, up and down as she observed the natural affection between brother and sister. And we hold on tight. You are team ewan! Lattes and rainy days. The Birth of Streiter Teagan. Kirsten's photo a day.
team-ewan.com
Team Ewan: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.
http://www.team-ewan.com/2012/11/there-is-always-always-always-something.html
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. The days here begin before I'm ready to be awake. The baby is crying or cooing or giggling or kicking, her noise and her motion a clear indication that it's time to get the day started. Sometimes I will set her on the floor with a few toys while I lie in bed for just a couple more minutes. And force my eyes to remain open, willing away the sleepiness that will tug at my heels for the rest of the day. We're in constant motion these days! But ev...
