REALISTICMUSTACHE.COM

Realistic Mustache

It’s 8:41 and Doug had already been on the road nearly 45 minutes, for what’s normally a 25-minute commute. And with traffic as it was, he couldn’t see making the office before 9:10, maybe 9:15. Maybe later. On most any other day the accident, the rubber-necking, the roadwork none of it would have been that big a deal. On any other day it would have been annoying sure. An inconvenience certainly. But today, of all days, it could well end up calamitous for Douglas Croton. Isn’t it just darling? Jacob̵...

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Realistic Mustache | realisticmustache.com Reviews

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It’s 8:41 and Doug had already been on the road nearly 45 minutes, for what’s normally a 25-minute commute. And with traffic as it was, he couldn’t see making the office before 9:10, maybe 9:15. Maybe later. On most any other day the accident, the rubber-necking, the roadwork none of it would have been that big a deal. On any other day it would have been annoying sure. An inconvenience certainly. But today, of all days, it could well end up calamitous for Douglas Croton. Isn’t it just darling? Jacob&#821...

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1 our history

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3 our offices

4 virtual museum

5 store

6 bonus

7 the collins deal

8 denial

9 champion

10 irresistable

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Realistic Mustache | realisticmustache.com Reviews

https://realisticmustache.com

It’s 8:41 and Doug had already been on the road nearly 45 minutes, for what’s normally a 25-minute commute. And with traffic as it was, he couldn’t see making the office before 9:10, maybe 9:15. Maybe later. On most any other day the accident, the rubber-necking, the roadwork none of it would have been that big a deal. On any other day it would have been annoying sure. An inconvenience certainly. But today, of all days, it could well end up calamitous for Douglas Croton. Isn’t it just darling? Jacob&#821...

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realisticmustache.com

1

Realistic Mustache » Our History

http://realisticmustache.com/our-history

Flan’s extraordinary vision and sense of wonderment is evident even in this journal entry from June 17th, 1900, when he was just 12 years old:. Mix two parts water with one part flour. Whisk vigorously until the mixture is fluid, but tacky. Now, here comes the big secret: Sprinkle in a dash of nutmeg along with one tablespoon of brandy. That’s right! Herein lies the sensational taste treat. Still, in spite of the arduous task with which he’d charged himself, Flan continued coming home late, even on...

2

Realistic Mustache » Virtual Museum

http://realisticmustache.com/virtual-museum

The Realistic Mustache Company’s history is a rich one, full of wonderful stories, amazing anecdotes, and festering bed sores. Thanks to our unpaid assistant (and illegal immigrant) of the last 32 years, Conchita Ramos, we have an extensive library of RMC artifacts dating back to our earliest days, which includes everything from early advertisements to product samples to restraining orders. 8220;The Little Company That is a Company.”. In this ad, from a 1923 issue of “Junior’s Fanciful Fire-B...8230;yet ...

3

Realistic Mustache » Our Offices

http://realisticmustache.com/our-offices

Today Realistic Mustache Co. is a thriving false mustache producer and distributor with a staff of over 20,000 working in our 12 million square foot office/ecohabitat in beautiful downtown BraSwell, Georgia. Yet as marvelous as our current facilities are, we’re starting to find them a little cramped, hence our plans to quintuple our current space, which will effectively make us the 23rd largest landowner and 7th largest economy in the world. Our current offices (as of 2012):. Leave a Reply Cancel reply.

4

Realistic Mustache » Our Promise(s)

http://realisticmustache.com/our-promise

At Realistic Mustache Co. we take great pride in each and every artificial mustache we produce, and we promise to provide you with the highest quality soup sifters known to man (and woman), at prices many can afford. We’re often asked, “Why don’t you also make realistic sideburns, eyebrows, or beards, including Van Dykes, goatees, anchors, balbos, Bretts, chin curtains, chin straps, mutton chops, friendly mutton chops, Garibaldis, soul patches, spades, or even Verdis? 5 We believe that someone spiked the...

5

Realistic Mustache » Page 2

http://realisticmustache.com/page/2

8220;Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell you what…” mumbled Walter as he lit his 99-cent cigarillo, its weedy stench stinging Timmy’s nose. “You give me, say, five bucks no, no make it three, and I’ll drink a whole bottle of Drano, right in front of your little classmates. How’s that sound, kid? Just then, Kyle, through tears of laughter, managed to utter, “And instead of a parachute, I filled his pack with toiletries! Are you catching my drift here? We do love him though, and boy can he take a punch! Gabe viewed the ...

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It’s 8:41 and Doug had already been on the road nearly 45 minutes, for what’s normally a 25-minute commute. And with traffic as it was, he couldn’t see making the office before 9:10, maybe 9:15. Maybe later. On most any other day the accident, the rubber-necking, the roadwork none of it would have been that big a deal. On any other day it would have been annoying sure. An inconvenience certainly. But today, of all days, it could well end up calamitous for Douglas Croton. Isn’t it just darling? Jacob&#821...

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