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micro-chasms: August 2009
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Monday, 31 August 2009. I just need a way of hanging on to that feeling I get for the first five minutes when the real life we’ve returned to seems just a little bit skewed, a little bit bigger, and anything is possible. And if the house stays a little bigger, there will be room for the piano. Monday, 24 August 2009. In normal life, feeling a bit tense, irritable, overweight, under appreciated is, well, normal life. But when these emotions appear after a week of holiday frolics, it’s unacceptab...The won...
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micro-chasms: January 2010
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Friday, 29 January 2010. GUEST FRIDAY - Hazel Gould. Sleep is a precious commodity for the parents of the very young. Hours are collected like gold bars, as if we could stash them away for a rainy day; we barter on the nursery trading floor, selling midnight lullabies in exchange for lie-ins and cbeebies at dawn for breakfast. It’s a bear market, investor confidence is low, and all we really want are “just five more minutes”. Monday, 25 January 2010. Tell me on a Thursday. My husband loves change –...
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micro-chasms: Who do you think you are?
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Tuesday, 16 February 2010. Who do you think you are? A question was posed in the pub on Friday evening. It was the one of those rare spontaneous evenings where an unexpected babysitter lead to a last minute decision to head to Soho for drinks that taste much better and work much faster for the simple lack of organisation that went into them. Anyway, in this gin-fuelled hedonism granted by a small space on the heaving pavements of Dean Street, my husband posed the question. Who do you want to be? And the ...
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micro-chasms: September 2009
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Monday, 28 September 2009. Nothing trivial I hope? Anyway, the bus is called the Looser Cruiser, for obvious reasons of puerile High School amusement, and the previously status-happy niece is now living in a state of permanent mortification. And so it all goes down as good character-building stuff, lessons to learn from, reasons to drink, and amusing anecdotes to add to the after-dinner chatter. But suddenly now there’s my kids? Monday, 21 September 2009. Happy (and) in bed? So it’s with real pain ...
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micro-chasms: May 2010
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Monday, 10 May 2010. Can you walk a little faster? Of course these observations are all just nonsense, and the internet is what the internet is: a limitless way of being creative that my whinging desire for boundaries isn’t going to contain. And it’s not even fashionable any more to say ‘I’m too old for it all’. Get with the programme or just get lost frankly. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. Can you walk a little faster? Other things I like. Who really gives a toss?
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micro-chasms: November 2009
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Monday, 30 November 2009. It's not easy being wrong. I’m working on a couple of options for the opening of a conversation I need to have with my kids – specifically the nearly-nine-year-old. It’s a delicate matter, but one that’s consuming me, so I need to show both compassion and kindness and strength of conviction. Option two: ‘I used to talk to my mum like this and trust me, you’ll regret it one day.’. Option three: ‘I’m telling. Daddy. And Granny. And Santa.’. Monday, 23 November 2009. I generalise, ...
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micro-chasms: Death does not become us
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Monday, 8 March 2010. Death does not become us. But of course they have. So twice this month I’ve had to witness people I love suffering the indescribable pain of loosing someone they love. And I’m just not sure about the whole funeral thing anymore. Isn’t this when you want to curl up into a tiny ball and weep, not make small talk with people who never called enough. All this because someone decided that funerals are an important way to say goodbye? I heard someone today ask the eldest daughter of the b...
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micro-chasms: June 2009
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Monday, 29 June 2009. The Girl Is Mine. This last one is the most serious, and I suspect highlights the common thread running through all my other failings. I need to stop showing my kids how much I care about the little things. I’ve made it too easy for them to grind me down by picking out their own socks. Wouldn’t I rather have a glass of wine? But then I wouldn’t have passed on any advice. What about my needs? And I wouldn’t be able to sit downstairs actually feeling how comfortable she was, and...
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micro-chasms: March 2010
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Monday, 22 March 2010. About four years ago I had some major root canal work done on (under? One of my back teeth. Bear with me, I’m going to try and make this interesting. It was when my baby boys were teeny, and having some time to myself – albeit in a dentist’s chair with a high level of anxiety, and some – was actually pretty intoxicating, and the fact that it took six visits to finish the job seemed well worth the dollar and the pain. How many of my personality traits are infection-fugg induced?
