noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: Brave.Heart.
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2015/01/braveheart.html
Sunday, January 4, 2015. I'm convinced this is the bravest I'll ever be. The morning after we got the news I called my doctor, set up my first six week appointment as one would with any pregnancy. Then I called my perinatologist, left a message with his secretary. He called me at work an hour later, congratulated me and asked when I could come in for blood work and my self-injection lesson. I glanced at my planner. "How's Friday? He paused. "We'd like to see you today.". I can't tell them how every time ...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: Busch League Heartbreak Grads
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016/11/busch-league-heartbreak-grads.html
Saturday, November 26, 2016. Busch League Heartbreak Grads. The first time I felt my heart break I was in high school. One afternoon in August I decided to break up with my boyfriend. More honestly, he broke up with me after I insisted we take a "break". We had been together for two years. An eternity in teenage time). I asked him how he'd been, as if we hadn't seen each other in years, and he looked at me and that's when everything changed. "Actually," he said, "I've been.great.". What I'd give now for ...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: The How
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-how.html
Saturday, April 12, 2014. IN case you were wondering, there is no referee. There is no one who comes rushing in when life gets too physical, too painful. No one to save you in the moments you are pinned to the mat, squirming and begging and struggling to breathe. There is no one who stops the world when the doctor says "What I'm seeing isn't reassuring.". I kept looking towards the door, waiting for someone to burst through and say, Seriously? No, no. We're done here. I remember things about that day.
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: June 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_06_01_archive.html
Friday, June 24, 2016. I figured out why I. Love running. It's the only thing on this Earth that comes close to what this life without you feels like. How is near death attractive? And when I make it home I always feel accomplished. Like I could have stopped but didn't. Like it could have killed me but it hasn't. Yet. Pink is dumb. Splatter paint leggings are dumb. Why didn't this fucking scale work? I miss you I miss you I miss you.". Thursday, June 9, 2016. That time I was like Sandra Bullock. In the f...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: Shook.
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016/12/shook.html
Wednesday, December 21, 2016. Last week I handed back a test. A class full of teenage eyes stared up at me as I scoffed, pacing back and forth in my confusion as to how they could possibly have done so poorly on a topic we'd covered for over a month. Their faces changed. They assured me that their jeering, their laughter and their calls to one another from across the room had all been a farce. "Ms. LaFata," one student said. "We're laughing but we care. We're still shook.". So what's the issue? But there...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: May 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_05_01_archive.html
Friday, May 27, 2016. 365 Days Post Exhalation. Three weeks ago I Google-d "Rainbow Birthday Party". Streamers. Polka dots. Lollipops. Cakes and cupcakes and salsa and food coloring, and lots and lots of chevron. I realize none of that is what's important. Still as we sang to him, I couldn't help but notice the reds and deep blues and yellows and greens. This celebration of his life, surrounding him in swirly serenade. For nine months I planned his death. The sound of his heartbeat was commonplace in my ...
noralafata.blogspot.com
HereComesTheSun.: October 2016
http://noralafata.blogspot.com/2016_10_01_archive.html
Saturday, October 22, 2016. What Hurts the Most. I got another one! Yes, of course it works. But you're not satisfied? No, I'm not satisfied. How long have you had it? I just don't like it. Monday, October 17, 2016. Really random thoughts: Then and Now. It's three days after you died and there's a knock at the door. My eyes open. Swollen and crusted from tears that never fell and tears that wanted to, drying in pools on the lids, seeping out the sides. A man holding flowers beams down at me, "Wow! I'm in...
serena-somedays.blogspot.com
Serena, Some Days: About this blog
http://serena-somedays.blogspot.com/p/about-blog.html
Serena, Some Days. Some days I find serenity, most days not. April and May 2014 are all posts transferred from my private blog, dating late 2009 through May 2013. They span our anticipation of Anna's arrival, the aftermath of her death, our experience with Emily through domestic adoption, and early months with Cate. While there are and will be posts about life in general, it's purpose is a personal outlet to process life without our first girl. Our journey of grief, ongoing. Always ongoing. The Windy {Ci...
serena-somedays.blogspot.com
Serena, Some Days: July 2015
http://serena-somedays.blogspot.com/2015_07_01_archive.html
Serena, Some Days. Some days I find serenity, most days not. Tuesday, July 28, 2015. The Anna Stensruds that live(d). So I did something yesterday. I frequently find myself plugging into Google, searching, searching for something my heart knows I'll never find but my mind says "It's GOT to be there somewhere! But yesterday I plugged in Anna's name. We didn't have a public memorial service for her. We never wrote an obituary. What was I expecting to find. Something. Something that said "she was here".
