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Transforming Relationships

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Wednesday, August 5, 2015. Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person. How often when you're having relationship problems, do you focus on how "touchy," "unreliable," "critical" etc. the other person. Operating from this premise, you may have unwittingly attempted solutions that continue or even exaggerate the perceived problem. Let's say someone sees her spouse as not hands-on enough in their family business – she thinks he gives employees too much leeway. You can...

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Transforming Relationships | relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com Reviews
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Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Wednesday, August 5, 2015. Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person. How often when you're having relationship problems, do you focus on how touchy, unreliable, critical etc. the other person. Operating from this premise, you may have unwittingly attempted solutions that continue or even exaggerate the perceived problem. Let's say someone sees her spouse as not hands-on enough in their family business – she thinks he gives employees too much leeway. You can...
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Transforming Relationships | relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com Reviews

https://relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Wednesday, August 5, 2015. Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person. How often when you're having relationship problems, do you focus on how "touchy," "unreliable," "critical" etc. the other person. Operating from this premise, you may have unwittingly attempted solutions that continue or even exaggerate the perceived problem. Let's say someone sees her spouse as not hands-on enough in their family business – she thinks he gives employees too much leeway. You can...

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Transforming Relationships: The Container of Soul: Mutuality and the Enneagram*

http://relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-container-of-soul-mutuality-and.html

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Monday, February 2, 2015. The Container of Soul: Mutuality and the Enneagram*. For example, if you're a Three. Interacting with an Eight. You might find that both of you. Are out of touch with your emotional side. It would be mutually developmental to practice and reinforce each other for active listening. Or if you're a Two. Highly relational) interacting with a Five. Consciously framing each person's potential development in terms of mutuality. Have problems with ...

2

Transforming Relationships: Reflective Action: Enneagram Six and Nine Partnerships

http://relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com/2015/04/reflective-action-enneagram-six-and.html

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Monday, April 27, 2015. Reflective Action: Enneagram Six and Nine Partnerships. Any Enneagram combination will bring complementary gifts as well as the potential to exaggerate each style's down side. Here, you'll learn how to create specific actions that are mutually enhancing, whatever the combination of styles. For example, if you're style Three. Interacting with style Eight. You might find that both of you (for different reasons) are out of touch with your emotio...

3

Transforming Relationships: It Takes Three to Tango

http://relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com/2015/05/it-takes-three-to-tango.html

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Saturday, May 30, 2015. It Takes Three to Tango. The two who dance together, and the dance instructor). I'm counseling a couple to build a healthy relationship. An inventory on this couple suggested she's an Enneagram. Split) and he's an. What will be the best techniques to use employing the Enneagram with this couple? Are shared by more than one style, and they eventually center on the one that represents their primary driving force. While it's common that Sixe...

4

Transforming Relationships: Two Peas in a Pod (Well... one is a Snow Pea): Enneagram Four & Five in Relationship

http://relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com/2015/01/two-peas-in-pod-well-one-is-snow-pea.html

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Thursday, January 15, 2015. Two Peas in a Pod (Well. one is a Snow Pea): Enneagram Four and Five in Relationship. My wife is an Enneagram. Could you give some relationship growth tips or write a scenario? We know several 4-5 couples; they seem to be complementary. My wife is an ISTP. On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and I'm. And Michael Goldberg ( The 9 Ways of Working. The Five would be extroverted, though that's rare). W. Hen this couple does. Withdraw, they typ...

5

Transforming Relationships: Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person

http://relationshipsassystems.blogspot.com/2015/08/alter-interaction-not-other-person.html

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Wednesday, August 5, 2015. Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person. How often when you're having relationship problems, do you focus on how "touchy," "unreliable," "critical" etc. the other person. Operating from this premise, you may have unwittingly attempted solutions that continue or even exaggerate the perceived problem. Let's say someone sees her spouse as not hands-on enough in their family business – she thinks he gives employees too much leeway. You can...

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Enneagram Questions Answered : The Glass Half Empty - Enneagram Style Fours

http://enneagramquestionsanswered.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-glass-half-empty-enneagram-fours.html

By Mary R. Bast, Ph.D., Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Wednesday, May 6, 2015. The Glass Half Empty - Enneagram Style Fours. Dylan Thomas' poem, "Fern Hill," in the context of Enneagram Four. Patterns. I know the gist of the poem is something like living with no thought for the future until it's too late. I don't understand how that represents Fours. Could you give me more of your analysis? However, it was somewhat arbitrary of me to assign this poem. I chose "Fern Hill". To represent style Four's particula...

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Enneagram Questions Answered : Loved to Death

http://enneagramquestionsanswered.blogspot.com/2015/02/loved-to-death.html

By Mary R. Bast, Ph.D., Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Monday, February 2, 2015. Today I decided to pursue a divorce from my too-often-angry “ One. 8221; husband. He rarely shows this angry side to anyone else. Helen Palmer seems to suggest that Ones are usually better off with other Ones. I couldn’t agree more – BUT we have a 9-year-old child. I'm an Enneagram Four. How can I relate better with my One husband whether or not the divorce goes through? It isn't my understanding. The Enneagram in Love and Work.

mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com

Enneagram Coach Mentor: Whistling in the Dark

http://mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com/2015/07/whistling-in-dark.html

Wednesday, July 1, 2015. Whistling in the Dark. A coach I mentored described a client I’ll name Mike. Whose behavior threatened to compromise his law. He’d cancel lucrative cases to work on high-risk, low-pay cases. When his partners tried to talk him out of these risky cases, he'd insist he could win. Instead of seeing their concern for the partnership's viability, he. Thought they were trying to get rid of him. His coach thought Mike was probably Enneagram style Six. I can do it! With style Six patt.

mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com

Enneagram Coach Mentor: A Perfect Match

http://mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-perfect-match.html

Friday, August 22, 2014. One of the ways I mentor coaches is showing how to listen for Enneagram style in people's language and how to match them for greater rapport. This is especially important early in the relationship, when you want to meet clients and potential clients where they are, not where they will be when not boxed in by their personality style. My apocryphal story is about a client who said on our first phone call he wanted me to teach people how to stand up to him. I thought Eight. The Enne...

mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com

Enneagram Coach Mentor: How to Write a Personal Vision

http://mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com/2015/02/how-to-write-personal-vision.html

Saturday, February 7, 2015. How to Write a Personal Vision. Stanford Business School's Michael Ray believes the key to accessing deeper sources of creativity can be found in two questions: Who is my Self? Your higher self, your divinity, your highest future potential. And What is my Work? The purpose of your existence, what you'. Meant to be) (From page 101 of Presence. By Peter Senge, C. Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, and Betty Sue Flowers.). Who is your Self? What is your Work? Who is your Self? What ...

mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com

Enneagram Coach Mentor: The Paradoxical Approach to Problem Solving

http://mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-paradoxical-apparoach-to-problem.html

Thursday, August 6, 2015. The Paradoxical Approach to Problem Solving. In a recent blog post " Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person. I describe a couple caught up in a self-fulfilling negative cycle, and how to interrupt that particular dynamic with paradoxical problem solving. Below are key components of this approach, drawn from work at Stanford's Mental Research Institute ( The Tactics of Change,. Fisch, Weakland, and Segal). The Importance of Reframing. Perception of it. You're finding way...

mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com

Enneagram Coach Mentor: The Donald Duck Cure

http://mentoringforcoaches.blogspot.com/2010/02/donald-duck-cure.html

Sunday, February 14, 2010. The Donald Duck Cure. Building on Stories that Change People. The following is an example of a paradoxical intervention (encouraging clients to exaggerate. When I gave Greg this feedback, he understood why they felt embarrassed, but insisted he had no control over his behavior: "It just comes over me! So, Greg," I suggested, "since you can't stop criticizing team members at meetings, just keep on doing what you're doing, but take a second as you deliver the message to imagine y...

theonlygateisnow.blogspot.com theonlygateisnow.blogspot.com

The Only Gate is Now: Like a Flower...

http://theonlygateisnow.blogspot.com/2015/05/like-flower.html

The Only Gate is Now. Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Sunday, May 3, 2015. A reader who's an Enneagra. Note how she opens. Up (and gives permission). Dear Mary: I'm an Enneagram Five. Thank you for the service you provide to those seeking more knowledge. Will anyone else see this note? Dear Reader: I understand how satisfying life can be when work is interesting. However, you do imply that a relationship might be worthwhile ("I convince. Thank you immensely for your time. One of his stories is abo...

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The Only Gate is Now: Give Me Liberty, Or Give Me Death!

http://theonlygateisnow.blogspot.com/2012/01/give-me-liberty-or-give-me-death.html

The Only Gate is Now. Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Saturday, January 14, 2012. Give Me Liberty, Or Give Me Death! Chiron taught his students how to become "sacred warriors;" how to follow their quests and then go to death peacefully when the time comes. He taught his students how to access multidimensionality and balance polarization and duality. Today we might call such people shaman. By the way, my risk of recurrence is only one in four without any medication. Also, that statistic only re...

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RELATIONSHIPS - DATING & MARRIAGE LIBRARY BLOG

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Transforming Relationships

Mary Bast, Enneagram Coach and Mentor. Wednesday, August 5, 2015. Alter the Interaction, Not the Other Person. How often when you're having relationship problems, do you focus on how "touchy," "unreliable," "critical" etc. the other person. Operating from this premise, you may have unwittingly attempted solutions that continue or even exaggerate the perceived problem. Let's say someone sees her spouse as not hands-on enough in their family business – she thinks he gives employees too much leeway. You can...

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Relationships At Risk

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