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Awesome to the Max: July 2005
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Thursday, July 28, 2005. Awesome, Awesome, Awesome.Awesome. Katie says I should start watching Veronica Mars. Apparently it is the greatest thing since Krispy Kreme donuts. On the one hand, shows featuring an unlikely protagonist solving crimes have a long history of being awesome. Retired author solving crimes a la Murder, She Wrote. Awesome. Quirky doctor solving crimes a la Diagnosis, Murder. Awesome. Elderly country bumpkin lawyer solving crimes a la Matlock. Saved up, but watching TV just isn't the ...
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Awesome to the Max: February 2006
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Monday, February 27, 2006. I Would Like To Extend To You An Invitation To The Pants Party. This weekend was really something special, as jack and shit lovingly embraced me from both sides in a glorious orgy of inactivity and general laziness. I didn't watch my anticipated 6 movies featuring frequent explosions, but I did catch the equivalent amount of fiery wreckage in the second half of The Specialist. I also caught Anchorman. Posted by Mal at 4:24 PM. Comment' You get weirder and weirder with every post.
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Awesome to the Max: January 2006
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Monday, January 30, 2006. Whelp- all I did was watch TV and movies this weekend. Stealth- The deformed lovechild of Top Gun and Short Circuit 2. I never knew airplanes had DNA until I saw this movie, but it turns out they do! Some special effects genius said "You know what would be awesome, is if when the plane is struck by lightning, we show a double helix breaking apart! This was much funnier than I expected. Every movie for the rest of eternity should end in a dance montage featuring Kevin James.
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Awesome to the Max: September 2005
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Friday, September 30, 2005. 2) Kel talks ALL THE TIME. You don't believe me. I know. The Kel you know communicates entirely through sporadic nervous laughter. Rest assured she has plenty to say- mostly about what she's eaten or plans to eat that day- she's just saving it all up for me. I say the words "Uh-huh" and "Mmhmm" a combined 768,987 times a day. There is no need for anything else in my vocabulary. God help you if you're driving through Alabama and Lynyrd Skynyrd comes on. Posted by Mal at 9:34 AM.
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Awesome to the Max: August 2005
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005. Apparently I am an idiot, and the only person in the world who does not know what a sump pump does. It seems that a sump pump actually has nothing to do with household plumbing- it ejects groundwater from the basement to prevent flooding. What broke in our place was a sewage ejection pump. Just jam a freaking snake up there. I could do it myself if I weren't so pretty. I refuse to believe the founders of our country talked like that, and anyone who says they did is a communist.
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Awesome to the Max: March 2006
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Wednesday, March 29, 2006. Sweet Beards Part 8. Since I posted yesterday a couple people have notified me of how incredibly awesome it is that Flav's medallion is in fact a miniature Flav which is itself. Wearing a tiny little giant clock medallion. I don't know how I missed that- perhaps I was distracted by his hideous, hideous face- but that is probably the greatest thing I have EVER seen. Speaking of awesome- imagine walking into your house after a long drive to find THIS hanging on your refrigerator:.
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Awesome to the Max: November 2005
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005. The Most Awesome Man That Ever Lived. My Nano froze up yesterday on "Homeward Bound." Damn you to hell, Garfunkel. Simon.you're still okay. There was nothing I could do. The nano has no off switch- the power is all software controlled- so once it froze up there was nothing to be done but wait for the battery to drain until the power cut out. And now I've shared the tale, and why? Posted by Mal at 5:06 PM. I have a hunting blinds. 1:28 PM, November 26, 2005. Chuck Norris Is So ...
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Awesome to the Max: June 2005
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Thursday, June 30, 2005. Kel got me season one of both Scrubs and Arrested Development for my birthday, booya! Bluth bananas, Cox rants, and Sarah Chalke before the writers turned her from a quirky intern to an extremely annoying lunatic.awesome. She also got me one of those exercise balls. Anyone ever use one of those? I have used them extensively as bouncy chairs. Posted by Mal at 2:36 PM. Bad news, friend. i found your blog. . Uhhh, i got nothing . for now. 10:32 AM, August 08, 2005. Birthday was fun&...
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Awesome to the Max: December 2005
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005. Mine Is An Evil Laugh! I finally caught the first couple episodes of Firefly last night in an effort to silence the insane drooling fanboy savages who poop their pants and give me twenty minute lectures every time I say I haven't seen it yet. Listen you insane drooling savages, I don't need you or anyone to tell me that a show about chinese old west spaceship pirates is going to be awesome. I invented. Shows about chinese old west spaceship pirates being awesome. Comment' I ...