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sawdust and blood

Saturday, 5 July 2014. Dark days of PMDD. Sometimes it takes me a while to find the right head to deal with you. Today it took most of the day. It is like having a mental gearbox which won't quite go into gear. And suddenly something clicks. Beautiful sunny morning. Music playing, I was dancing in my room. Skype call. We were talking. I don't remember really, because I was happy. So I laughed. And the laughing wasn't acceptable. I was dead in the water. See how unfair that makes this, now? The best thing...

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sawdust and blood | sawdustandblood.blogspot.com Reviews
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Saturday, 5 July 2014. Dark days of PMDD. Sometimes it takes me a while to find the right head to deal with you. Today it took most of the day. It is like having a mental gearbox which won't quite go into gear. And suddenly something clicks. Beautiful sunny morning. Music playing, I was dancing in my room. Skype call. We were talking. I don't remember really, because I was happy. So I laughed. And the laughing wasn't acceptable. I was dead in the water. See how unfair that makes this, now? The best thing...
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1 sawdust and blood
2 it's later
3 no this
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5 i'm out now
6 posted by
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sawdust and blood | sawdustandblood.blogspot.com Reviews

https://sawdustandblood.blogspot.com

Saturday, 5 July 2014. Dark days of PMDD. Sometimes it takes me a while to find the right head to deal with you. Today it took most of the day. It is like having a mental gearbox which won't quite go into gear. And suddenly something clicks. Beautiful sunny morning. Music playing, I was dancing in my room. Skype call. We were talking. I don't remember really, because I was happy. So I laughed. And the laughing wasn't acceptable. I was dead in the water. See how unfair that makes this, now? The best thing...

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sawdustandblood.blogspot.com sawdustandblood.blogspot.com
1

sawdust and blood: January 2014

http://sawdustandblood.blogspot.com/2014_01_01_archive.html

Friday, 3 January 2014. The homeless man outside Greggs bakers. I still remember that event, although it was the most pathetic attempt at charity. I wonder if that is for the benefit of my ego rather than genuine compassion. Because it is so exceptional, that I noticed it and remembered it. Such acts should be so regular and instinctive that I don't even notice them. Let alone writing about them for public approval. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). The homeless man outside Greggs bakers.

2

sawdust and blood: The homeless man outside Greggs bakers.

http://sawdustandblood.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-homeless-man-outside-greggs-bakers.html

Friday, 3 January 2014. The homeless man outside Greggs bakers. I still remember that event, although it was the most pathetic attempt at charity. I wonder if that is for the benefit of my ego rather than genuine compassion. Because it is so exceptional, that I noticed it and remembered it. Such acts should be so regular and instinctive that I don't even notice them. Let alone writing about them for public approval. 3 January 2014 at 22:35. This comment has been removed by the author.

3

sawdust and blood: July 2014

http://sawdustandblood.blogspot.com/2014_07_01_archive.html

Saturday, 5 July 2014. Dark days of PMDD. Sometimes it takes me a while to find the right head to deal with you. Today it took most of the day. It is like having a mental gearbox which won't quite go into gear. And suddenly something clicks. Beautiful sunny morning. Music playing, I was dancing in my room. Skype call. We were talking. I don't remember really, because I was happy. So I laughed. And the laughing wasn't acceptable. I was dead in the water. See how unfair that makes this, now? The best thing...

4

sawdust and blood: The Revelation

http://sawdustandblood.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-revelation.html

Monday, 23 December 2013. The sun these days is gone before we get a chance to notice it. This day, Sunday, I began with relative cheer, and worked languidly. It was enough to have a private audience with my darling and to see her face break into lines of smiles. At one point it almost felt satisfying. We consumed each others words and images greedily. You're not strong any more and you know it. The demon on my shoulder spoke to the darkness, and I was alone. I began to realise what she meant by self-hat...

5

sawdust and blood: Happy Christmas. I love you.

http://sawdustandblood.blogspot.com/2013/12/happy-christmas-i-love-you.html

Tuesday, 24 December 2013. Happy Christmas. I love you. And I like to hear myself say that out loud. Maybe you noticed. Let me explain why. I am happy that, despite all rational thoughts and years of emotional self-control, I am still jealous that you're holidaying with another. I'm happy that I'm remembering what trust means. I'm happy that I can be there for you. I'm happy that I can begin to help you put right some of the wrongs. I'm happy that I am strong enough to meet you, and push you furt...Simpl...

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Saturday, 5 July 2014. Dark days of PMDD. Sometimes it takes me a while to find the right head to deal with you. Today it took most of the day. It is like having a mental gearbox which won't quite go into gear. And suddenly something clicks. Beautiful sunny morning. Music playing, I was dancing in my room. Skype call. We were talking. I don't remember really, because I was happy. So I laughed. And the laughing wasn't acceptable. I was dead in the water. See how unfair that makes this, now? The best thing...

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