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Scattershot: Natalie Burroughs: Sex Detective
http://scattershot-blog.blogspot.com/2010/10/natalie-burroughs-sex-detective.html
Friday, October 22, 2010. Natalie Burroughs: Sex Detective. Miss Burroughs, are you in here? Your receptionist told me to come on in. Yes, I’m Natalie Burroughs, Sex Detective. You must be Russell Muddige. You were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. I almost gave your appointment to a young woman convinced her boyfriend is sleeping with his science professor. Sorry I hit traffic on the 101. Confused) Why are you talking like that? When the situation is more internal and no infidelity can be proven,...
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Scattershot: December 2009
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Friday, December 25, 2009. That being said, it’s one thing to go in and simply dress up as what might as well be a large painted bullseye for remarking teenagers or shopping-weary parents; it’s another thing entirely when the man stepping into the shiny black boots and tomato-colored pants dedicates himself to the role. In addition to the group as a whole, the article profiled three FORBS members who had had interesting experiences in the course of their years spent lying to children each December. We we...
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Scattershot: October 2010
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Friday, October 22, 2010. Willie Lobster, Detective: PART 5 "Krazy Klown Komedy". Koqteese had just turned Detective Lobster’s car around when a small, slightly comical looking Ford Fiesta traveling in the opposite direction erupted into a ball of flames. The crappy lime green Fiesta lifted off the ground and tumbled through the air like a child’s toy. As it spun through the air a handful of people spilled out onto the blacktop. People in baggy trousers and enormous shoes. 8220;Pull over, we gotta see if...
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Scattershot: That Which Has Led Me Here Before You
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Friday, October 15, 2010. That Which Has Led Me Here Before You. 8220;So Lucas brings me to the chickens and tells me that they love to play. ‘It’s sure fun trying to run and catch ‘em,’ he says. And this, remember, to a little seven-year-old boy. ‘Why don’t you try it? 8220;That event was a traumatization. That’s what my shrink calls it, anyway. I’m just a good old boy from Cornhole, Iowa. Ha ha! Ething to invent. ‘Well, think about something people need,’ my shop teacher would say. ...Means, but for me...
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Scattershot: Ten Questions For The Person Who Literally Took A Shit In The Women's Clothing Wednesday Night
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Friday, October 8, 2010. Ten Questions For The Person Who Literally Took A Shit In The Women's Clothing Wednesday Night. 1) What the hell were you thinking? 2) Was it really a good idea to, apparently, eat such a hearty meal before coming to shop at a major retailer? 3) If you are old and/or senile do you have someone to monitor you while in public? 4) If this sort of thing happens on a regular basis and you can expect such an event, why do you not wear protective diapers? 6) Did you wipe afterwards?
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Scattershot: August 2010
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Friday, August 27, 2010. As the weather gets a little cooler and the leaves begin to turn colors.the Happy Apples return to the store shelves. I love Fall. I like how cool it gets (not too hot, not too cold). I like how the bugs go away (yuk). I like the back-to-school sales. Happy Apples. When the apple harvest comes in, the farmers (i.e. the good folks over at Happy Apples Inc.) dip their precious fruit into creamy caramel and kissed with peanuts (or sprinkles if you prefer). What else can I say? I'm g...
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Scattershot: July 2010
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Friday, July 30, 2010. Word Addiction: A Brief History of My One True Love. Or anything by Judith Viorst or even a James Patterson novel, for that matter. Still, I got up in front of my class and got about five pages in, a little more than halfway through the book, when my teacher told me that that was enough. “That’s all we have time for today,” she said, sending me back to my seat. College brought on courses in creative writing, which introduced me to people who had the same desires as me. It felt ...
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Scattershot: Willie Lobster, Detective: PART 4 "Not Much Happens Because Jason Is Getting Burned Out (the second to last installment)""
http://scattershot-blog.blogspot.com/2010/10/willie-lobster-detective-part-4-not.html
Friday, October 15, 2010. Willie Lobster, Detective: PART 4 "Not Much Happens Because Jason Is Getting Burned Out (the second to last installment)". Willie Lobster started up at the banana thug. The thug's mouth trickled blood. The blood was red. The redness reminded Lobster that he had a weapon hidden under his divan. Lobster groaned and rolled towards the tattered divan. One of the banana thugs shouted. The one with the bloody mouth said. The banana thugs stopped dead in their tracks. Lobster said....
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Scattershot: May 2010
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Friday, May 28, 2010. Links to this post. You know what the most unrealistic part of STAR TREK is? Not the transporter. Or the faster-than-light "warp" drive. Hell, not even Shatner's hair (in the later films). No, for me the most unrealistic part of TREK has to do with the politics. Or rather, the lack thereof. What they don't say is "I'm from the United States, on Earth.". If we were all Borg (or Droids) a single, planet-wide government would solve everything. By "pork" I refer to the practice politici...
