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All the Rantings: April 2014
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Wednesday, April 30, 2014. It had to happen. My car broke down. We're on our way to the auto parts store now. Hopefully it's an easy/cheap fix! Friday, April 25, 2014. We've been working ourselves way too much this last week trying to get everything taken care of. We're both so incredibly exhausted and just ready to leave. We decided to ship some things, mostly clothes and books, so I packed the boxes a couple days ago. Yesterday? I feel like I'm going to trip and fall every time I even look at the livin...
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All the Rantings: August 2014
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Tuesday, August 26, 2014. 2 weeks in the tower. I'll end it there. Sorry for just a downer of a post and hopefully it actually makes sense. I go cross eyed trying to proof read it, but I don't see any big red lines, so I'll call it good enough for now. Thursday, August 7, 2014. What does it mean to be strong? I'm not talking physical strength. I mean emotionally and psychologically strong. I've never really felt like I'm very strong, yet here I am. So what is strength? Being strong takes courage. It ...
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All the Rantings: August 2015
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Saturday, August 22, 2015. I got a much greater understanding of what she went through – especially the idea that her hallucinations took place in the same part of her brain that all of our nightmares take place. I have experienced what she went through, except I could wake up from it, and she never could.". Alan Alda speaking of his mother's battle with schizophrenia in an '05 interview with USA Today. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Picture Window template. Template images by fpm.
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All the Rantings: Living Childless
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Monday, February 2, 2015. It's hard to accept that I will likely never have a child. It's hard to accept that we will grow old never knowing what might have been. It's hard to accept all of it. I want a kid more than almost anything else in this world. The only things I want more are my life and my husband. And the first is a struggle some days. I know it's time to move on and that it's selfish of me to want to bring a kid in to what could undoubtedly be a complicated upbringing. But it is what it is.
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All the Rantings: March 2015
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Friday, March 27, 2015. Well, it's finally spring! The sunshine is killing me. I was really hoping for more overcast/cloudy days when we moved here. Oh well! Still better than the feet of snow in the winter and heat and humidity in the summer! I mean, the Haldol works, it just makes me blah. And that's even getting better now that I've been taking it longer. Plus it doesn't make me gain weight like so many others do. Ugh That sounds awful. But I want a kid so fucking bad. As terrified as I am that it mig...
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All the Rantings: May 2014
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Tuesday, May 20, 2014. Mountain Home, Idaho. Words I never thought I'd hear Blake say, "I'm so happy to be sleeping in a car again.". Only 8 more hours until Portland! Should be there tomorrow afternoon/evening. Fuck it. We're sick of waiting on insurance. We got a rental car and we're getting back on the road. Whenever the car is fixed we'll come back and get it. PS- It's getting fixed. We found. Saturday, May 17, 2014. No idea. Long story short, I better have a baby soon or my life will fall apart ...
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All the Rantings: New meds and babies
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Wednesday, March 4, 2015. New meds and babies. Well, we were trying to add Abilify in hopes of lowering my dose of Haldol. I'm thinking it's not going to work. I've been having more and more symptoms recently. At first I thought it was fine, but it's been a few weeks now and the hallucinations are coming back. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). New meds and babies. Picture Window template. Template images by fpm.
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All the Rantings: November 2014
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Monday, November 3, 2014. It's been a while. So I finally saw the new psychiatrist and he adjusted my meds some and I think it's helping. My new cardiologist is super adamant about me not driving EVER or threats of calling the DMV to revoke my license. Which isn't really a huge deal since I almost never drive, but it scares me. That's the reason I stopped seeing cardiologists years ago. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Its been a while. Picture Window template. Template images by fpm.
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All the Rantings: December 2014
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Saturday, December 13, 2014. We went to the Grand Canyon! It was pretty awesome. Not seeing a big hole, but the trip itself was great. I got to visit with a good friend that I've been dying to meet for a long time and that alone was worth the drive. I had so much fun. This is the first road we went down. It looks more like a road than the rest, but we were too distracted trying not to get stuck to think about taking pictures. Sad day. Though still terrified of flying again, especially after feeling so ba...
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All the Rantings: June 2014
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Friday, June 20, 2014. It's always the little things. I never thought that a termination of benefits letter could hurt so much. I was definitely not expecting to see those three little words today. I was actually excited when I saw the envelope to open it and see that "not an Indiana resident" part. I was not expecting to be suddenly thrown in to thinking about the twins. Blake got a job! He had an interview yesterday and apparently he's so awesome they called him an hour later and offered him the job!