mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: October 2009
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The dogs are acting strange. Saturday, October 31, 2009. I have this crazy little notion that this journey is going to help some things fall into place. Monday, October 26, 2009. Pretty bummed out that my cheddar cheese tidbits from the Vermont Country Store are almost gone! Not to mention that now I'm thinking of Buffalo Bleu Cheese dip. Pick up one of those too. You can even split the cost with a friend! Food, food, food. what a wonderful thing. Haha, I'm hungry. I sort of always liked Halloween. S...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: March 2010
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html
The dogs are acting strange. Monday, March 29, 2010. Whose side are you on? What side is this anyway? I'm submitting a painting I finished to a local gallery for a chance to be in an upcoming show. I figured I'd sell it (if, of course, it gets selected for entry), but have absolutely no idea what to set the price as. Then I can just say yes or no! So, an original oil painting, 24"x30". Gallery would keep 20%. Hmmmm. Luckily I have a few days to play with some numbers. Wednesday, March 24, 2010. I ordered...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: September 2010
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html
The dogs are acting strange. Monday, September 27, 2010. And the time such clumsy time, in deciding if it's time.". Mom died on Saturday night. To write those words again tears another hole in my heart. Another void in my stomach. I'm numb. Or in shock. Or both. She was supposed to die on Tuesday. Then Wednesday. Every day the doctor came in and told us, "Not long now." 24 hours. Tomorrow. Soon. We can't do a thing but wait.". When the big hand goes round again.". I voiced that opinion Saturday morning&#...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: December 2009
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html
The dogs are acting strange. Tuesday, December 29, 2009. Last cancer post of the year. My mom's scans and tests are next week. Friday I do believe. Results should be in by Tuesday when she goes in for chemo. I will admit when I stop to think about it I feel sort of nauseous [so I'm not really stopping to think about it too much]. This should determine if the cancer is "gone," when she can stop chemo, etc. She hasn't lost her nails yet, but it's not looking good. Rocket (ha, I didn't make up that nickname...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: April 2010
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html
The dogs are acting strange. Thursday, April 29, 2010. Moth's Wings (cont.). It's in my head! I pretty much don't know anything about music. I can only sing to babies and dogs. (I was in chorus back in 4th grade.) I don't know what the hell all those symbols mean on a sheet of music. (I used to play the trumpet! And I foolishly let myself be talked into buying a guitar, and have been unable to tune it or decipher the poster with the chords? But I like music! What side is this anyway? I just keep coming b...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: "And the time such clumsy time, in deciding if it's time..."
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010/09/and-time-such-clumsy-time-in-deciding.html
The dogs are acting strange. Monday, September 27, 2010. And the time such clumsy time, in deciding if it's time.". Mom died on Saturday night. To write those words again tears another hole in my heart. Another void in my stomach. I'm numb. Or in shock. Or both. She was supposed to die on Tuesday. Then Wednesday. Every day the doctor came in and told us, "Not long now." 24 hours. Tomorrow. Soon. We can't do a thing but wait.". When the big hand goes round again.". I voiced that opinion Saturday morning&#...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: October 2010
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html
The dogs are acting strange. Wednesday, October 6, 2010. Then you tell me.". Am I only dreaming? The nightmare didn't end. I didn't wake up, and the struggle with reality is only beginning. It's been a week since we said goodbye, and my stomach is still in knots. I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start; Tonight it feels so hard.". I don't go to bed until you can argue that it's technically morning. And then I don't get out of bed until it's actually afternoon. Depression? I've always been afraid.". It's tru...
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: "Fear prejudices Courage"
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010/09/fear-prejudices-courage.html
The dogs are acting strange. Saturday, September 18, 2010. The oncologist did not feel it was right to begin my mom's chemo treatment yesterday. Between the general malnutrition, the feeding tube, the narcotics intolerance and PleurX. Drain surgery, I can't say I blame him. He wants her to build up strength over the weekend, and is looking for some of her counts to level out (calcium too high, hemoglobin too low, etc). When I stop to think, I'm still in shock. How is this happening? How is this possible?
mikaroni.blogspot.com
The dogs are acting strange...: "It is such a secret place, the land of tears."
http://mikaroni.blogspot.com/2010/09/it-is-such-secret-place-land-of-tears.html
The dogs are acting strange. Tuesday, September 14, 2010. It is such a secret place, the land of tears.". As I write this, I'm sitting in a hospital room in Philadelphia. My mom is laying in a hospital bed, wearing a cheap pair of headphones and falling asleep to a meditation CD on a Coby disc player. My headache has faded, and the pit in my stomach has been replaced with hunger pangs. Rufus Wainwright's version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" drifts through my own headphones. But I don't run away. There...