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Circumstantially Wonderful | … Fatherhood with depression and singing

... Fatherhood with depression and singing (by Shawn)

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Circumstantially Wonderful | … Fatherhood with depression and singing | sextonsongs.wordpress.com Reviews
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... Fatherhood with depression and singing (by Shawn)
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1 circumstantially wonderful
2 bang
3 hunting them down
4 it kills
5 gain influence
6 as i watch
7 my own histrionics
8 posted in depression
9 hubris
10 fatherhood
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circumstantially wonderful,bang,hunting them down,it kills,gain influence,as i watch,my own histrionics,posted in depression,hubris,fatherhood,2 comments,tags mental health,parenthood,hope,poetry,expecting,life goes on,expect respect,for staying alive
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Circumstantially Wonderful | … Fatherhood with depression and singing | sextonsongs.wordpress.com Reviews

https://sextonsongs.wordpress.com

... Fatherhood with depression and singing (by Shawn)

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#s | Circumstantially Wonderful

https://sextonsongs.wordpress.com/2015/01/06/s

8230; Fatherhood with depression and singing. January 6, 2015. 24 – and before is not anymore. 25 – its strange and good to be alive. 26 – seeing things that need a fix. 27 – bills for pills and therapy sessions. 28 – accept it all as a trick of fate. 29 – would make a change if there was time. The big three zero – over trying to be a hero. 31 – a little addition and adulthood has really begun. 32 – duty is what there is to do. 33 – the balance of circumstance and biology. But this year I’m 40. Reading t...

2

the Woolf is at my door | Circumstantially Wonderful

https://sextonsongs.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/the-woolf-is-at-my-door

8230; Fatherhood with depression and singing. The Woolf is at my door. January 20, 2012. I hate fashionable melancholy. I hate the way despair is romanticized for poets and artists. Like it is some prerequisite of the creative impulse. Instead of the death of ambition and articulation – of any impulse. I am terrified by stories of adult suicide. It is very sad when a younger person takes their life. But it can also seem (to me) somehow impulsive and understandable. What finally pushed them over the edge.

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eggshells and mug shards | Circumstantially Wonderful

https://sextonsongs.wordpress.com/2014/12/17/eggshells-and-mug-shards

8230; Fatherhood with depression and singing. Eggshells and mug shards. December 17, 2014. Tell me that you love me. I just want to stop moving for a little while. Have a lie down. Sleep to escape me,. But these days i snore. So even in the night. I bother us all. Dammit this stuff was supposed to help me. Not make me crazier. I don’t know what to expect. Or what is even a valid expectation. So exhausted that it. Turned to crying this morning. For me for you for us for them. As i was trying to put it away.

4

expecting | Circumstantially Wonderful

https://sextonsongs.wordpress.com/2015/01/29/expecting

8230; Fatherhood with depression and singing. January 29, 2015. You can’t shut it off. And expect to survive. If I knew then what I know now. I’d still know nothing. And you’d still be my friend anyhow. Everything I broke would still be broken. Every hurt I spoke would still be spoken. And it would still all happen in slow motion. So fast it would be out of my control. I am the fraud with the heart of gold. Just a fraud with a heart of gold. I can’t shut it off. Or keep from getting old. I am still alive.

5

the Woolf is howling (again) | Circumstantially Wonderful

https://sextonsongs.wordpress.com/2015/01/26/the-woolf-is-howling-again

8230; Fatherhood with depression and singing. The Woolf is howling (again). January 26, 2015. We awoke to snow the other day. A bit unusual here. The kids went out (ill prepared) to play in it. With wet gloves and pink, swollen fingers. I wanted to go out. But I excused myself regarding my pj pants. And that I remember the treasure of playing alone. I did make one snowball. And threw it at a telephone poll (I missed). But mainly the snow served to more deeply and clearly. Besides the river looks so cold.

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19 | April | 2014 | profane Truth

https://profanetruth.wordpress.com/2014/04/19

Daily Archives: April 19, 2014. April 19, 2014. I wrote a post titled ‘not-depression’ or something like that. Well I’m glad to say I’m no longer depressed. Or no longer in a not-depressed state. It’s so fucking tough but I tried and I wanted to cry and I felt all the fucking pain and I think I got through. I did it alone! At least now, I’m in a better state of mind to deal with my problems, I’m a little equipped to handle life better. And this time, I hope I do. The Gap (My Bullshit Philosophy #1).

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09 | November | 2013 | profane Truth

https://profanetruth.wordpress.com/2013/11/09

Daily Archives: November 9, 2013. November 9, 2013. I’m not depressed, I feel it would be offensive to categorise myself as such when there are people out there who are genuinely and clinically depressed. I do however have this lingering sadness. Right when I laugh I get the thought ‘oh this won’t last, why even start’. What the fuck brain? Then I have to go deal with it by myself. But, what they fail to realise is I recognize it, where the sadness comes from, why it’s there. The Art Of Overcomin….

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Not-Depression | profane Truth

https://profanetruth.wordpress.com/2013/11/09/not-depression

November 9, 2013. I’m not depressed, I feel it would be offensive to categorise myself as such when there are people out there who are genuinely and clinically depressed. I do however have this lingering sadness. Right when I laugh I get the thought ‘oh this won’t last, why even start’. What the fuck brain? Then I have to go deal with it by myself. But, what they fail to realise is I recognize it, where the sadness comes from, why it’s there. On Moving On →. 2 thoughts on “ Not-Depression.

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April | 2014 | profane Truth

https://profanetruth.wordpress.com/2014/04

Monthly Archives: April 2014. April 19, 2014. I wrote a post titled ‘not-depression’ or something like that. Well I’m glad to say I’m no longer depressed. Or no longer in a not-depressed state. It’s so fucking tough but I tried and I wanted to cry and I felt all the fucking pain and I think I got through. I did it alone! At least now, I’m in a better state of mind to deal with my problems, I’m a little equipped to handle life better. And this time, I hope I do. The Gap (My Bullshit Philosophy #1).

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Shrebekawn+: July 2011

http://shrebekawn.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html

Friday, July 22, 2011. In between all our trips and company this summer we've enjoyed farmer's market Saturdays where we get lots of local, delicious foods to grace our table throughout the week, as well as enjoy bouncing in a bounce house or getting to see our dear friends the Norman's while sharing scrumptions muffins! On Wednesdays is always a real treat with instruments to play, favorite songs to sing, and lots of dancing as well as some real learning going on underneath all that fun!

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Shrebekawn+: Elias Simon Brown

http://shrebekawn.blogspot.com/2013/03/elias-simon-brown.html

Tuesday, March 19, 2013. I would like to start posting occasionally- but I am not making any promises.) People have been asking for pictures of him so- here you go! Customize your own free digital slideshow. He is so beautiful! Thank you for the pictures. I miss those sweet little girls of yours too. I love, love, love your children. Aunt Linda. March 19, 2013 at 9:26 PM. Hey, thats my friend! Slow down there, Elias! We need to hang out again before you get your drivers license! March 29, 2013 at 3:21 PM.

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Shrebekawn+: June 2013

http://shrebekawn.blogspot.com/2013_06_01_archive.html

Tuesday, June 18, 2013. On Mother's Day weekend we took the kids on a little weekend adventure to Chatanooga and Cloudland Canyon, GA. We celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary, my birthday and mother's day in a fun filled weekend of hiking, relaxing, exploring, and enjoying eachother's company without any distractions. Here are the pictures of our trip. Enjoy! Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. La Leche League International-. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Dictionary of baby signs).

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Forever Arriving: December, January, and the Inbetween

http://foreverarriving.blogspot.com/2014/01/december-january-and-inbetween.html

Monday, January 13, 2014. December, January, and the Inbetween. At Willa's house, in November and December, I struggled to write. I banged out stilted sentences as reluctantly as if I were writing college essays on subjects I didn't care about. I seized upon a thousand distractions, brawled with my own fears of failure and success, and ultimately faced down the question: Do I want to write this book, or not? Construction vehicle, lost in the woods. Want to write this book. The last week of the year typic...

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17 | October | 2013 | profane Truth

https://profanetruth.wordpress.com/2013/10/17

Daily Archives: October 17, 2013. October 17, 2013. The Gap (My Bullshit Philosophy #1). I love bullshit philosophy/self diagnosis. It’s where you know of your own problem and know why it is that it is occurring. In most situations there is already some branch of philosophy which covered it, but it’s nice to come to your own conclusion. So I have these Bullshit Hypothesis/Philosophies, and here’s the first, I call it ‘The Gap’. It’s a gap in consciousness, progressive consciousness.

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21 | October | 2013 | profane Truth

https://profanetruth.wordpress.com/2013/10/21

Daily Archives: October 21, 2013. October 21, 2013. The action of providing or being provided with amusement or enjoyment. I love the question why? I’ve recently become obsessed with examining the food that is fed to me, and the easiest way to do so is by asking why? I was reading Catch 22, I won’t post any spoilers, but there is a part where one of the characters suffers an existential crisis (was that a spoiler? Come home, pop in a DVD (if people still do that), and indulge. Stressful day? It’s all ent...

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Circumstantially Wonderful | … Fatherhood with depression and singing

8230; Fatherhood with depression and singing. Speaking out about reticence. August 14, 2015. The depression acquired a sniper rifle. With nothing to stop it. Having destroyed my defenses long ago. And all the bad things overrun the system,. Make their authority, their residence seem permanent. Hard to imagine hope. When both imagination and hope were gunned down. Most things are hit initially with a nonlethal shot. And then slowly put to death…. Ground down (sometimes tortured) over time. Exhaustion very...

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