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Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy!

Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy! Satirical tales of bureaucratic derring-do and derring-don't from the Poison Processor of Bob Blau. How to Keep a Scorpion from Stinging. Fumed Rey. "They must be stopped! It's not that I don't try. I do. It's just that humans are so thick. They just don't get it, where "it" is any blindingly obvious message. Maybe I should just bang 'em upside the head with a two-by-four before trotting out my best instructional materials. You know, get their attention. The crayfish...

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Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy! | soapmites.com Reviews

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Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy! Satirical tales of bureaucratic derring-do and derring-don't from the Poison Processor of Bob Blau. How to Keep a Scorpion from Stinging. Fumed Rey. They must be stopped! It's not that I don't try. I do. It's just that humans are so thick. They just don't get it, where it is any blindingly obvious message. Maybe I should just bang 'em upside the head with a two-by-four before trotting out my best instructional materials. You know, get their attention. The crayfish...

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Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy! | soapmites.com Reviews

https://soapmites.com

Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy! Satirical tales of bureaucratic derring-do and derring-don't from the Poison Processor of Bob Blau. How to Keep a Scorpion from Stinging. Fumed Rey. "They must be stopped! It's not that I don't try. I do. It's just that humans are so thick. They just don't get it, where "it" is any blindingly obvious message. Maybe I should just bang 'em upside the head with a two-by-four before trotting out my best instructional materials. You know, get their attention. The crayfish...

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soapmites.com

1

The MSU Method

http://www.soapmites.com/msu_method.html

I'm old enough to remember the Bad Old Days, when every new Internet headline brought fresh anguish. Soaring deficits. Yet another gun massacre. Double-digit unemployment. A collapsing health care system. A collapsing economy. Just compare: The good ol' US of A, back on top. Best health care system in the world. No crime. No unemployment. No deficits. Absolutely. Since that was replaced by the infinitely superior MSU method, it has been nothing but prosperity and smooth sailing. Tut, tut," I chide him&#4...

2

Letting the Cat Out of the Bag

http://www.soapmites.com/of_cats_pigs_and_pokes.html

Of Cats, Pigs, and Pokes. Puglio purported to be a purveyor of pork, although he had never owned a pig, or even seen one up close. What he did. Have was a foul-tempered, evil-smelling, one-eyed, shred-eared, cantankerous old villain of a tom cat. Called Old Tom, of course. Getcher prime, grade-A pork! Puglio would cry as he strode the streets of the town. "Fresh! And the customer, after suitable first aid, would also return to Puglio in hopes of buying another pig. Great-great-great-great-great-grandfath...

3

arch2004

http://www.soapmites.com/arch2004.html

You'd better have a good explanation for those spinning heads, young man, or there's going to be trouble! Everyone should visit the capital at least once in their life. I mean, everyone has heard about the great roads, the awesome aqueducts, and the totally cool architecture, but you really have to see it to appreciate it. The world is a better place without Joe Stalin. I tell that to all the skeptics and nay-sayers. The Big Bright Ball. Is seen as one that will benefit both sides. Bull in a China Shop.

4

Math Problem

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This is one of those pesky word problems that drive kids away from math and into some dreaded liberal art. Train A leaves Capital A at 1:37 am, traveling at 92 miles an hour. Train B leaves Capital B at 2:15 am on the same day (let's make it easy), traveling at 120.7 kilometers an hour (but not that. Easy) Train A and Train B are on course to collide head-on, destroying both trains and killing all the passengers on board. The Crew of Train B (Crew B) knows that Train A is a Bad Train and that Good Trains...

5

The Arborial Human

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Evolutionary Dead Ends: The Arborial Human. The meeting convened in the old baobab. The branches were heavy with humans, among them Ook, Eek, Aak, and Eddie. Ook flicked a glowing butt to the forest floor and lit up another ciggy. "So what's this all about? Beats me," shrugged Eek the smokeweed mogul, "but I can get you a discount on your smokeweed, if you buy by the carton.". Now, that's right simian of you," said Ook appreciatively, sending another flaming fag end over the side. And if it is, it's beca...

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Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy!

Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy! Satirical tales of bureaucratic derring-do and derring-don't from the Poison Processor of Bob Blau. How to Keep a Scorpion from Stinging. Fumed Rey. "They must be stopped! It's not that I don't try. I do. It's just that humans are so thick. They just don't get it, where "it" is any blindingly obvious message. Maybe I should just bang 'em upside the head with a two-by-four before trotting out my best instructional materials. You know, get their attention. The crayfish...

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