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...how way leads on to way...: February 2015
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How way leads on to way. Saturday, February 28, 2015. Some of the other vacationers. 8220;Hey, it’s Missouri! 8221; shouts the big pink fellow ahead of us in line for conch fritters. He elbows his wife. She’s distractedly humping the air, dancing to the reggaeton blasting from the stage. Her eyes don’t focus on his face, but she peels her lips away from her teeth in a grimace of recognition. Is that a drunken smile? 8220;Who wants to pay for all that! 8221; hoots her husband with a vote of support. And t...
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...how way leads on to way...: Gomzilla vs. The Captain and Schwartz
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How way leads on to way. Saturday, July 25, 2015. Gomzilla vs. The Captain and Schwartz. Hamster's Note: This is a story for children and related persons who enjoy stories about cats and dogs and made up monsters. The story includes no cuss words. There are opportunities for listeners to make quiet and loud noise. Readers will find brief fighting (with consequences), but no characters are eaten or killed. Gomzilla vs. The Captain and Schwartz. The Three Persons of Pewter. Both The Captain (the dog) and S...
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...how way leads on to way...: June 2015
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How way leads on to way. Tuesday, June 30, 2015. What is a migraine? A migraine is vitalized brain demons. It is a roofing nail behind your eye. A migraine is I hate everyone and everything. Every migraine is a moth circling the light and you don’t know how it got in. The moth, standing. Her freckles had given her away, but she looked so well - far happier than at 18. But then I wake up. Migraines are the last thing about me I haven’t written about. Internal, immeasurable, intimate, mine. I’m allow...
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...how way leads on to way...: Some of the Ways New York City Will Kill You (Other Than Blizzards)
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How way leads on to way. Tuesday, January 27, 2015. Some of the Ways New York City Will Kill You (Other Than Blizzards). New York City is preparing for a blizzard, but there are so many other ways to die here. And taxis, of course, will lurch forward unexpectedly, blowing their horns at you as they belligerently mow you down, aiming to break both your legs and shouting at you and shaking their upraised fists while they steer towards you. They slice you with their not-so-lifelike hands, because their fuse...
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...how way leads on to way...: Just Not Good
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How way leads on to way. Friday, May 20, 2011. Can you evaluate this double integral? Even if you can’t, isn’t it a smart-looking thing? Pay the best math teachers like professional athletes. Put problems like the one above next to the Wednesday crossword puzzle in the New York Times. Stop letting adults and teens and children say, “I’m just not good at math.” Dogs are not good at math. People invented math. Everyone can do math. That is the whole of it. 8221; Maybe I’m just not good at writing. Things I...
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...how way leads on to way...: July 2015
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How way leads on to way. Thursday, July 30, 2015. Alone in the car on my way to the horse show, first thing in the morning, against the flow of the commute, listening to my favorite music, and it’s Your Favorite Music. Clem Snide) or Eels’ Souljacker. I will step up a tiny set of stairs and mount my horse. Hello, Petey. By the time I get Petey groomed, I’ve groomed a couple of other horses, set fences, held horses, eaten a grilled cheese and watched twenty or more rounds in that indoor ring. I&...I climb...
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...how way leads on to way...: May 2015
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How way leads on to way. Wednesday, May 27, 2015. Why do people give dolls to little, tomboy girls? You’re afraid of the dark? You’re afraid of the basement? You’re afraid of crows? You should be. You should be! My cat couldn’t kill the dolls in the daytime, only in the nighttime when they were doing the secret evil dolly things, and alive. He had to catch them at it. Only then could they be killed. My Great Aunt M- - who lived with my grandparents had a pink satin bedspread and a fake fireplace with a r...
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...how way leads on to way...: January 2015
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How way leads on to way. Wednesday, January 28, 2015. We came upon a dead fox that made me sad. Who kills a fox? Was it poisoned by neighbors? Should I freeze it and take it to the vet for an autopsy? We’ve been watching a fox all year. We could see it hunting along the bushes. Crouching, pouncing. The cat liked to watch it. The dogs hated the fox, and barked their angriest intruder alerts when it trotted across the upper field in the late morning sunshine. Was this that fox? Posted by Hamster Relish.
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...how way leads on to way...: March 2015
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How way leads on to way. Wednesday, March 25, 2015. While I’m on the subject. I’m going to encourage you to make waffles. Yes, you are gonna need a waffle iron. Yes, people have to eat them when they’re ready because that’s when they’re best. Yes, if you do the cooking you may have to eat the last one. Mostly I have a good time there, except once, and I’ll write about that another day. My husband refers to my Twitter friends as “strangers.” He has a point. One of my strangers/friends. My oldest child tak...
