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definitelynotmyfault.blogspot.com

Definitely Not My Fault: April 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Thursday, 28 April 2011. My brain. My brain can be today's dead thing. Also, this picture:. And also, my love of M. And so I started explaining what I meant. And in the middle of that, he suddenly shouted. Oh my god, yes, that's the most amazing goal we've ever scored! GET IN MY SO.". Are you. are you watching the football while we're talking? When we haven't spoken in months? Are you listening at all? Wednesday, 27 April 2011.

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Definitely Not My Fault: June 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Tuesday, 21 June 2011. Men, maintaining sanity, and rainbow tuesday. I have, once again, a broken laptop. And very little time to write now, as I, me, she - the cat's mother, Ali. am going on a holiday. Over seas. On a long flight. I'm going to go and find G and her boyfriend. They're in a van driving across a desert. I'm going to LA, baby! Before I go I wanted to share a strange weekend. On Monday, I have this email from him.

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Definitely Not My Fault: The people I (probably) won't be dating: Part 2. The internet.

http://definitelynotmyfault.blogspot.com/2011/09/people-i-probably-wont-be-dating-part-2.html

Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Thursday, 8 September 2011. The people I (probably) won't be dating: Part 2. The internet. So, I'm back on the internetty shelf. By the virtue of being female and not looking like an utter troll, I'm having to clear out my inbox of dating site messages 200 at a time. Sorry, I don't respond well to messages in text-speak, or ones that start (and finish) with 'hi babe wanna chat'.EDIT: No punctuation, NO response. OK, so, I may ha...

definitelynotmyfault.blogspot.com

Definitely Not My Fault: March 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Saturday, 26 March 2011. Maintaining self-respect - the long awaited post about my pubes. I am a high-maintenance girl. Not in relationships - heavens, no! No I mean literally, high-maintenance. As in, it takes a lot of maintenance to keep me looking half-way groomed. I have the kind of exuberant body hair that likes to be noticed. And the kind of aesthetic sense that utterly despises it. I'm bad at saying no. Like, really b...

definitelynotmyfault.blogspot.com

Definitely Not My Fault: Oh hai, I done a poem.

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Saturday, 24 September 2011. Oh hai, I done a poem. Months ago, I mean months and months and months ago, I heard a poet called Hollie McNish. I liked her. It reminded me I like poetry a lot, though I never read it. By that point to cringe in privacy) inspired me to start writing things again myself. Once you're in that lyrical flowing language mindset, it's hard to shake off, and I've been trying to rhyme and measure my timi...

definitelynotmyfault.blogspot.com

Definitely Not My Fault: September 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Saturday, 24 September 2011. On Beauty and comparing legs. I cannot compete with the ones who are fitter. The ones with lean limbs, hips that little bit slimmer. The ones with tanned skin and the pearly white grins. The ones wearing skirts so short that it skims. That place that unites us, yet makes us compete. For the attention of men who'll treat us like meat. Just a dish on the menu - you want leg, or the breast? I liked her&...

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Definitely Not My Fault: May 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Wednesday, 25 May 2011. Darling, you fucked up. A short story told through the media of we heart it. Finds that have made me jolt across the months. In the case of the first image - years. It's always the same person they make me think of. Always bitter sweet. I've never behaved so callously, never been so angry, never played such cruel games, never kept going back to anyone else. Tuesday, 24 May 2011. Monday, 23 May 2011. Sees ...

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Definitely Not My Fault: September 2012

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Sunday, 2 September 2012. The Changes a Year Can Bring. It has, shamefully, been very nearly a year since I last committed anything to blog. There has been a lot of change. But some things never do. I just found a notebook with scribblings I wrote over a year ago, when I saw an article about the sexual connotations of a cookery writer being photographed covered in caramel, and they all still ring true. I have had a realisation.

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Definitely Not My Fault: August 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Thursday, 11 August 2011. On why I'm still single. Earlier today, I had the following conversation with the 5 year old I look after. She was having lunch while her toddler sister was sleeping, I was picking play-doh out of my hair and peeling the hello kitty stickers off my clothes. Do you have any boyfriends? Erm, well, do you think I have a boyfriend? No, I don't think you do.'. Do you think I don't ever have a boyfriend?

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Definitely Not My Fault: February 2011

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Definitely Not My Fault. A blog about things I really didn't MEAN to happen. Tuesday, 22 February 2011. Every so often I think it's getting easier and I'm definitely, definitely getting over M. Like when I went on a date last friday with an eyelinered top-hat wearing hippy. It was me, him, his brother, and about a billion of his friends. On a first date. So, it's essentially a party, and then I rock up, all like. Oh, hai, I'm a girl he met on the internet' and they're all like. Ooh', and I'm all like.