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This is the Croydon Sound | wartsanall

https://wartsanall.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/this-is-the-croydon-sound

The sordid story of my life. My catharsis. November 17, 2012. This is the Croydon Sound. There is a man of interminable age but I’m guessing he is closer to sixty than forty. He wears a sheer scarf on his bald black head in the colours of Jamaica. Sometimes he wears a matching track suit. He pulls a trolley upon which sits a portable stereo of the type that used to be called a ghetto blaster although this seems to me now to be an amazing piece of casual racism. He needs some music though. I got close...

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Belgians | wartsanall

https://wartsanall.wordpress.com/2012/12/22/belgians

The sordid story of my life. My catharsis. December 22, 2012. Later on I met him on the trampoline and he told me that his name, of all things, was Nigel. He pronounced it in the English way Niy-jull and I asked him what was the deal with his eyes, was one artificial? Hang on, I interrupted. The weakest one is, what? Zis first one- 5%. It iz a Belgian brewery owns zis plais. 8220;Yes. Beer at 9am! This entry was posted on Saturday, December 22nd, 2012 at 2:45 pm and tagged with Belgium. You are commentin...

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My Summer | wartsanall

https://wartsanall.wordpress.com/2012/12/08/my-summer

The sordid story of my life. My catharsis. December 8, 2012. Teaboy’s Leaving Party. I asked him, as the sun came up, what his business plan was for Costa Rica, his destination in a couple of weeks and for the foreseeable. It’s gonna be amazing. Was his answer. Before he went he made me schlep all the way to Manor House one evening, bought me dinner and gave me a copy of all his tunes. (Win.). 17th August T and C’s garden party. Doris had to be in Chester Saturday night for a hen do the wedding for which...

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The End of The World | wartsanall

https://wartsanall.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/the-end-of-the-world

The sordid story of my life. My catharsis. January 13, 2013. The End of The World. Nothing. No meteor showers, no viridian sky. No message of imminent alien arrival taking over the world’s media. No global feeling of togetherness. No sublimation. Just death on our doorstep. Then there was that time that he stole a crate of lagers from our party shopping as it sat outside his front door. I was stunned at so uncivilised and indeed, unneighbourly an act but Doris boldly rang their bell. The wife ans...In th...

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me | wartsanall

https://wartsanall.wordpress.com/author/bigwart

The sordid story of my life. My catharsis. I started this thing because I had notes and random thoughts and emails that are just completely uncoordinated and if, as I intend, I am going to spend my twilight years laughing at a life's worth of buffoonery I guess this is the best and safest place to put it all. It's anonymous because it's personal and sometimes embarrassing but mostly because I'd get the sack and make my Mum worry more than she does already. January 13, 2013. The End of The World. Then the...