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Swell Done | Sloan Schang

Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. No animal on earth moves faster than me when I'm trying to turn off A Prairie Home Companion. 2015 Swell Done Sloan Schang.

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Swell Done | Sloan Schang | swelldone.com Reviews

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Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. No animal on earth moves faster than me when I'm trying to turn off A Prairie Home Companion. 2015 Swell Done Sloan Schang.

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An Open Letter to Parents Planning to Trick or Treat with Babies | Swell Done | Sloan Schang

http://swelldone.com/2012/10/an-open-letter-parents-halloween

Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. An Open Letter to Parents Planning to Trick or Treat with Babies. Dear Parents Planning to Trick or Treat With Babies,. You are usually the first to arrive at my home on the most hallowed of eves. I hear the bell ring and think, Oh, how delightful! Ragamuffins adorned in topical garb have begun to appear, sacks of hope outstretched like nougat dreamcatchers! What kind of example are you settin...

2

About | Swell Done | Sloan Schang

http://swelldone.com/bio

Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. Sloan Schang is a writer and online/interactive creative director in Portland, Oregon. In addition, he contributes regularly to the internet (McSweeney’s, The Morning News, Bygone Bureau, Hobart) and his words and photography have appeared a variety of printed publications. Links to published works can be found here. And many more writings and projects can be found using the links above.

3

Raising the Perfect Supervillain | Swell Done | Sloan Schang

http://swelldone.com/portfolio/raising-the-perfect-supervillain

Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. Raising the Perfect Supervillain. Do not allow a screen of any kind within a quarter mile of your child. It’s been medically proven that every supervillain’s origin story begins with exposure to video screens before the age of two. (Yes, that includes sports.) (Yes, that includes Real Housewives reunions.) (And no, you can’t just mute the commercials. ). Continue reading on True Parent.

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Eddie and Ramone Will Freak Your Shit Out | Swell Done | Sloan Schang

http://swelldone.com/2006/06/eddie-and-ramone-will-freak-your-shit-out

Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. Eddie and Ramone Will Freak Your Shit Out. Have you seen these two? Eddie and Ramone are jive walkers and they will freak your shit out! Do you know about jive walking, have you seen it? And together, a duo, they are more powerful than any other single jive walker will ever be. Did I mention that they are virtually identical in appearance? I’m not kidding. I don’t care what anyone on the...

5

The Unusual Emigration of Franklin Lewitt | Swell Done | Sloan Schang

http://swelldone.com/portfolio/the-unusual-emigration-of-franklin-lewitt

Other Writing & Projects. Tinder Mill Greeting Cards. Conversion Van Postcard Adventure. Found Notes and Photos. The Unusual Emigration of Franklin Lewitt. Do you remember the time that we all went to the beach and Franklin Lewitt rented one of those giant pontoon tricycles? And then he was gone. Hobart, September 2005 Issue. 2016 Swell Done Sloan Schang.

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leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: What the fuck is up with women's clothes nowadays?

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-fuck-is-up-with-womens-clothes.html

See You In Hell! Wednesday, April 22, 2009. What the fuck is up with women's clothes nowadays? This looks like fucking maternity wear for preteens:. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 12:33 PM. Ooooooo- And don't forget to pair these "flattering" tops with skinny jeans! Who the hell brought those nasty things back? And pleats on pants? Um, no thanks. Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 5:36:00 PM PDT. Dang i wish i had my email response to this still. Friday, May 1, 2009 at 12:28:00 PM PDT. Beware of the Lapkids! Cousin Pa...

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: June 2005

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_archive.html

See You In Hell! Saturday, June 25, 2005. Oh, fer cute. I just got a birthday card from my Aunt Barb, and it contained this great old picture of me holding baby amycita:. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 1:01 PM. Thursday, June 23, 2005. Http:/ www.thesuperficial.com/archives/001010.html. Yeslife after thesis is good! I have time to read spazzy web stuff- woot woot. Posted by eM at 8:37 AM. Or really damned close at least! Yes, yes, i think it does! And perhaps i'll even blog a bit more! Posted by eM at 5:02 AM.

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: January 2006

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.html

See You In Hell! Tuesday, January 31, 2006. Most likely bringing another snarky chica into the world. Or perhaps a nice, sweet one. Or, if the ultrasound was wrong (which it could be as they couldn't get a perfect view), a snarky little guy. EEEK! Either way, we're planning to snug it constantly and as long as it's okay with that, we're good to go. Posted by eM at 6:01 AM. Sunday, January 29, 2006. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 10:03 AM. Saturday, January 28, 2006. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 11:38 AM. In the lock...

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: facebook silliness

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2009/01/facebook-silliness.html

See You In Hell! Sunday, January 18, 2009. Here's an excerpt from some Facebook silliness Em, Dylan and I generated. It started with the following status update, and just went downhill from there:. Jennifer is looking out the window at a beautiful hoar frost. And no, a "hoar frost" is not something that happens when a prostitute gets too cold. I disagree. Also, a horehound is a dog that is sent after missing hookers. Dylan adds that Horatio is the ratio of whores to the general public.". Ill take the dea...

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: Reflecting upon my recent trip to the San Juans...

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2009/06/reflecting-upon-my-recent-trip-to-san.html

See You In Hell! Thursday, June 04, 2009. Reflecting upon my recent trip to the San Juans. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of Orcas Island, I found myself annoyed with, then angry towards, and finally completely disgusted at the preponderance of "No Trespassing", "Private Drive", "Private Property", and "Keep Out" signs nailed onto any and every surface. Also, apparently no Coca Cola products exist anywhere north of Seattle. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 1:47 PM. Sunday, June 14, 2009 at 6:40:00 AM PDT.

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: September 2005

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_archive.html

See You In Hell! Friday, September 30, 2005. Will somebody please explain why the japanese have such bizarre, fucked-up cartoons? And then there's this: http:/ yoga.at.infoseek.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso.swf. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 12:54 PM. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 7:58 AM. Friday, September 23, 2005. My new favorite quote:. The stick up his (or her) ass has a stick up its ass". Posted by Jege (Jen) at 12:21 PM. Thursday, September 22, 2005. Just in case you didn't know. Em has a quote on brainyquotes.com.

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: November 2005

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_archive.html

See You In Hell! Wednesday, November 30, 2005. The stupidest thing ever invented. You know those kids' shoes that have red lights in the heel, and whenever little Snotley takes a step, they light up? I mean, REALLY. What fucking genius came up with this idea? Shoes that squeak INTENTIONALLY? And what's next on his list? The Long-Range, Powder-Actuated Tampon Applicator (with optional laser scope)? Perhaps the Erratically-Vibrating Mascara Wand? Or maybe the Intermittent Diaphragm? Posted by eM at 7:20 AM.

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: February 2005

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_archive.html

See You In Hell! Monday, February 28, 2005. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 9:38 AM. Pavilion of the mind. Did a little sketching while tending to my vast, teetering piles of laundry this weekend. A completely non-functional yet architectonic little folly, hence "pavilion of the mind" (Devin suggested that I was "wasting perfectly good ink"). Posted by Jege (Jen) at 8:23 AM. Friday, February 25, 2005. A little more light on the subject. Http:/ news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4298095.stm. Okay Blink ONCE i...

leingirlz3.blogspot.com leingirlz3.blogspot.com

Lein Girlz 3: May 2005

http://leingirlz3.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_archive.html

See You In Hell! Tuesday, May 31, 2005. Posted by Jege (Jen) at 12:10 PM. Friday, May 27, 2005. Has a song ever popped into your head, and for the life of you, you cannot remember the name of the song? But you can’t stop humming it, and now your coworkers have it stuck in their heads too, and they’re plotting to toss your ass into the nearest chipper shredder? That one song from that movie starring Tom Cruise that goes like DA-DAAAA-da-da-da-dooooo-DING DA! Posted by Jege (Jen) at 3:22 PM. Here's a rando...

nummybearcentral.blogspot.com nummybearcentral.blogspot.com

The Journey

http://nummybearcentral.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_archive.html

The Destination: 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004. To know the Way, We go the Way; We do the Way The way we do The things we do. It's all there in front of you, But if you try too hard to see it, You'll only become Confused. Tuesday, August 31, 2004. I want my macaroni necklace! To the person making my gift for me when I get home:. You better not cook the macaroni first! Otherwise the necklace will be all gooey and wet. It will will be one big chain of wet noodles! Posted by punkindunkin at 5:18 PM. Or, better ye...

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Little things to keep you looking swell. Wednesday, September 29, 2010. Embrace Your Inner Rock Star. Sightly different than previous years. Rather than the usual sparkle expected this season, the line features adorably adorned leather bracelets perfect for gift-giving. Insists they help her channel Pat Benatar, but I'm reminded of a different short-haired dynamo: Watts from Some Kind of Wonderful. It's so intense and it makes you crazy! So, Watts, today's look is for you:. This rock legend in Calgary.