anhonestswallow.com
Absence makes the liver grow…Sadder? – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/03/05/absence-makes-the-liver-grow-sadder
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. Absence makes the liver grow…Sadder? March 5, 2014. It’s March 2. 9:47 pm. I have just finished scarfing down a large helping of Pad Thai and Panang Curry and a bottle of wine. My man has done the same. We have decided to stop drinking for 30 days and it’s our last hurrah. Emotion has overcome us and we are already pissed and upset about it and haven’t even started the process. Why would we torture ourselves with this nonsense? Now at ipernity) /a via a href=” htt...
anhonestswallow.com
Absence makes the waist smaller. – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/04/07/absence-makes-the-waist-smaller
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. Absence makes the waist smaller. April 7, 2014. Removing. Restricting. Eliminating. Withdrawing. These are not kind verbs in their own right and adding them to my nutritional vocabulary has been stinging. You may have read my article, Absence makes the liver…sadder? As a reminder, Here were the major issues I needed to combat:. I kinda love my processed foods. Chips, cookies, aspartame, cheese in a jar (love you queso! And any other bad idea in a box that crossed my path.
jedwardpaul.wordpress.com
PLAYER vs player: From L33t to Dad | J. Edward Paul
https://jedwardpaul.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/player-vs-player-from-l33t-to-dad
Writer / Artist / Mailman. PLAYER vs player: From L33t to Dad. April 28, 2014. April 28, 2014. By definition I am a Gamer. Before you were a pixel in your father’s eye, I was staring at the flickering screen of a Vectrex. And mashing buttons. That’s right, my credentials stretch back to a when monochromatic games were cool. Hell, I even rocked a ColecoVision. Before Mario and Luigi dropped out of high school to unclog toilets for a living. Or Star Wars: Galaxies. Ackocin Ootieriv by J. Edward Paul. Now t...
anhonestswallow.com
Fifty Shades of Red – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/03/31/fifty-shades-of-red
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. Fifty Shades of Red. March 31, 2014. You are so beautiful. As I run my hand down the sides of your body, electricity runs through me. My fingers circle around lightly, tracing every inch of your smooth skin. I notice you are slightly chilled, which is exactly how I like you. I’m sorry that I have to force myself on you. It will be fast and relatively painless as I stab and twist deeper over and over again until you pop ever so gracefully beneath my palm. I hold you in m...
anhonestswallow.com
We’re not in Kansas (or Queens) Anymore. – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/07/08/were-not-in-kansas-or-queens-anymore
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. We’re not in Kansas (or Queens) Anymore. July 8, 2014. Outside my window stands a four-story brick building. Its presence is unforgiving; tagged with graffiti, the indistinguishable scribbles of black spray paint spread across the framework. We have moved to Brooklyn. And this is our view. The attitudes of the hipster waitstaff around here remind me of going on vacation and experiencing “Jamaican time.” They are never in a hurry to greet you or get you a...Damn hipsters...
anhonestswallow.com
Oh, My Aching Back. – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2015/05/08/oh-my-aching-back
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. Oh, My Aching Back. May 8, 2015. There are many terms used to describe spinal disc pain, such as “herniated disc,” “pinched nerve,” and “bulging disc.” After viewing my MRI and seeing the large, blobby intrusion that was stomping on my sciatic nerve, I came up with my own term. Little Back Nugget. Let me tell you our love story. If you don’t live here, you cannot fully appreciate how difficult this is to do on a regular day let alone in the middle of a blizzard. Enter m...
anhonestswallow.com
It’s Official! Or is it? – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/11/19/its-official-or-is-it
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. November 19, 2014. Some people say, marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, I’ve been married 52 days and I still don’t have that piece of paper. The Queen’s County City Clerk’s office has actually beaten out Comcast, Time Warner Cable and Verizon for the worst customer service possible. The whole thing has been a nightmare and so I had to drive over there to deal with it in the rain on a Monday. I hate Mondays. To this office, which was weeks ago. She gets up and star...
anhonestswallow.com
Circadian Rhythms – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/04/17/circadian-rhythms
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. April 17, 2014. The rain is making a soft pitter-patter against the window. Each drop clears a trail through the dusty pane and then falls to the ground. Birds are happily chirping as they dip their wings into puddles of water and let it roll off their backs. Damp, cool air blows through the window and dances across the back of my neck bringing tiny goose bumps to the surface of my skin. But I don’t hear or feel any of this. New Year’s Resolutions? I don’t think so.
anhonestswallow.com
Life ain’t easy in the big city. Oh. wait. It is! – An Honest Swallow
https://anhonestswallow.com/2014/12/13/life-aint-easy-in-the-big-city-oh-wait-it-is
The Chronicles of a Real Hot Mess. Life ain’t easy in the big city. Oh. wait. It is! December 13, 2014. Lately, I have been complaining about some of NYC’s shortcomings and I feel like I need to cut the Big Apple a slice of slack. I get pretty hostile when I have to do things I consider unpleasant. Thank you, thank you for food delivery service. New York City has Fresh Direct. Other NYC conveniences I would like to give props to:. Seamless- On nights when you don’t feel like cooking with all that food th...
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