hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: It's a TRAP!!!
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2015/06/its-trap.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Tuesday, June 23, 2015. Tuesday, June 23, 2015. I don't know how much water to use", he told me. "Enough to cover the hot dog", I explained. And so he turned the water to barely a drip and held the pot there for 5 solid minutes, asking every few drops "is this enough? It went this way with every step of the excruciatingly simple task of boiling a hot dog, until my sister gave up and made it for him. At the time I refused to cave because. This entire process (during which I...
hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: October 2014
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2014_10_01_archive.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Monday, October 20, 2014. Alive and Mostly Well. Monday, October 20, 2014. A while back I received an anonymous comment. This person simply mentioned that I hadn't blogged in a while and hoped that all was well. It meant a lot, to know that some lovely stranger on the internet was worrying about me, hoping that I was well, hoping that all the shit that's been weighing me down has somehow been resolved. I'm hoping that once I'm done being endlessly in limbo that I'll be bac...
hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: August 2013
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2013_08_01_archive.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Wednesday, August 28, 2013. A Guide To Your Classy Unplanned Pregnancy. Wednesday, August 28, 2013. I figured you were all wondering how my pregnancy is going. I wanted to let you know that my main focus has been to remain as dignified as humanly possible during this unplanned affair. I know, I know. You hear the words "unplanned pregnancy" and your mind automatically conjures up images of someone who has been on 16 and Pregnant. Sometimes, in your personal life, you're go...
hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: Shit My Dad Says... The Hobo Equation
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2014/11/shit-my-dad-says-hobo-equation.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Tuesday, November 11, 2014. Shit My Dad Says. The Hobo Equation. Tuesday, November 11, 2014. I don't think it needs to be mentioned yet again, but hey- you guys remember how my dad is like 87% hobo, right? In case you are wondering how I figured out that percentage, it's a very complicated Algebraic formula including the following variables:. V= number of days per year spent sleeping in your vehicle. S= stank (this variable has a direct relationship to c*). C) trade in the...
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: By Way of Explanation...
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Tuesday, June 10, 2014. By Way of Explanation. Tuesday, June 10, 2014. I feel that I'm at a point where I owe you guys an explanation for my prolonged absence. And so here it is:. Last year, I got pregnant unexpectedly, by someone I didn't know very well. I had been separated from my husband and I made a mistake. A big one. And that's where we are at today. Or actually, just a little past it. Yesterday was the hearing for my restraining order. It had been 12 da...He told m...
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: June 2014
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2014_06_01_archive.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Tuesday, June 10, 2014. By Way of Explanation. Tuesday, June 10, 2014. I feel that I'm at a point where I owe you guys an explanation for my prolonged absence. And so here it is:. Last year, I got pregnant unexpectedly, by someone I didn't know very well. I had been separated from my husband and I made a mistake. A big one. And that's where we are at today. Or actually, just a little past it. Yesterday was the hearing for my restraining order. It had been 12 da...He told m...
hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: December 2013
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2013_12_01_archive.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Monday, December 2, 2013. Shit My Dad Says. About Welfare. Monday, December 02, 2013. We've established that I was really poor as a kid. Welfare poor. The major reason for this was my dad. My useless, transient hobo with a gambling problem dad. It took my mom quite a few years to come to the realization that being on her own with 4 kids would actually be significantly easier than staying with him and trying to take care of us. The worst part isn't even that he's abusing a ...
hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: Shit My Dad Says... The One Where I Wish He Was Somehow MORE Catholic
http://hamburgercheeks.blogspot.com/2015/06/shit-my-dad-says-one-where-i-wish-he.html
Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Monday, June 29, 2015. Shit My Dad Says. The One Where I Wish He Was Somehow MORE Catholic. Monday, June 29, 2015. When I was in my early 20s, I had a Catholic friend of mine tell me why she had only very recently decided that she didn't need to wait until marriage to have sex. "In Catholic school, they tell you that premarital sex makes your soul die", she explained. Well she had to work today. Oh, I gotch. AND she's really mad at me. Oh god. What did you do? Well now you...
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: February 2014
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Tuesday, February 25, 2014. A Dating Profile for Dear Old Dad. Tuesday, February 25, 2014. I'm dealing with some difficult shit right now. Rather than talk about it, I've decided to make fun of my dad some more. It's like meditation for me:. Anyway. I've decided I need to find someone to take him off my hands. He hasn't had a girlfriend since my mom left him 20 something years ago. I think it's time to take him into the new millenium with online dating! Clothes and feet ar...
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words: February 2015
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Nursery Rhymes and Curse Words. Monday, February 23, 2015. Baby Shower Family Feud. Monday, February 23, 2015. It's been a while. That doesn't mean that I'm not busy to a ridiculous degree, though. I'm really excited about the next few months. I'm going on a desperately needed vacation in 2 weeks. Then, in May my baby sister is getting married. But what I'm most excited about right now is that my best friend will be joining the ranks of motherhood in June. Name something moms are always covered in. Name ...