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Elite Opinion: September 2006
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Monday, September 11, 2006. Elite Opinion's 2006 Winter/Fall - Movies That Are Least-Likely To Induce Self Mutilation Preview. For those of you paying close attention, it appears the Baton most recently spent time in Korea and it is not, I repeat: IT IS NOT IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. One could even say that America’s sporting a new baton- a cursed artifact that could be dubbed: The Baton of Soulless and Horrendously Banal and Derivative Film Garbage or something equivalent. Still, the U.S produ...
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Elite Opinion: August 2006
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Friday, August 25, 2006. Mel Gibson Is An American Hero. I know a victim when I see one. And what’s more, I know a defiant and heroic individual when I see one. And so he drove. And he drove fast. Of course, our world does not bear the weight of such heroes lightly and sometimes the magnitude of these individuals can actually bend or even break the very plane of existence upon which these demigods tread. And by plane of existence, I mean California State Driving Regulations. And so the forces of our worl...
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Elite Opinion: November 2006
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006. The Elite Opinion Triple-Header. Ovember was a big month for movies in 2006. Of course that's a relative statement because on a whole this year's films have been about as entertaining as rectal surgery with a rusty crowbar and a broken chainsaw. And yet within the context of this year's cinematic holocaust this was to be a good month. And so Elite Opinion committed itself to delivering the reviews of three films to you. So make it something funny. Now, for the rest of us Ren...
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Elite Opinion: January 2007
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007. The Academy Awards are a goddamn joke. Very year the Academy nominates a list of seemingly random films and film-related persons to shower with grossly inaccurate hyperbole and rabid, fanatical adoration. But believe us dear reader, you are. The 79th Academy Award Nominations are as follows:. Babel, The Departed, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, and The Queen. Let's start from the bottom and work our way back up; Best Actresses. Penelope Cruz was nominated because n...
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Elite Opinion: December 2006
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006. Elite Opinion asks, Didn't They Just Put This CD Out? Xplosions in the Sky has made the same album again. No, not that one. Ah, okay, again, again. And this "new" album is full of the same songs that they've been making since they started making the same song. No, it's not your imagination. Yes, you really have been hearing-. The same damn scale. In the same damn key. In the same damn timing. With the same goddamn song structure. Over and over and over. Not buying that are you?
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Elite Opinion: October 2006
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Monday, October 30, 2006. Young filmmaker once told me that the most exciting thing about CGI is that for the first time in history a director can finally paint the sky whatever color he wants. Of course he’s not saying that before computer graphics, we didn’t have the ability to manipulate the sky- it’s just that it was never cost effective. So unless the director really, really, really wanted his sky to be blood red it just wasn’t done. But those days are over. If the shot calls for the heavens to.
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Elite Opinion: July 2006
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Sunday, July 30, 2006. Music That's Better Than You. Week 7. The T-1000 Thinking Computer of internet music blogs presents:. Music That’s Better Than You Week: 7. You never post anymore. Waahhh. You’re always posting on other blogs and working, I never see you anymore. WAAAAHHH. Okay, okay baby relax. Everything’s gonna be fine. I’m home now. So go make me some dinner before someone has an "accident" down the stairs, again. In the mean time. No really, sounds like:. And in the same vein of thought, do ba...
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Elite Opinion: December 2005
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Monday, December 12, 2005. The Best Albums of 2005. T's that magical time of year, once again. You've all managed to prove evolution has come to a complete and utter halt by pulling out another 365 days of breathing, shitting and drinking. Congratulations. It's time for a new year, and you all know what that means. Here it is you thankless motherfuckers, now you can tell (bullshit) all of your friends what you've been listening for the last 12 months:. The Best of 2005. 1) Lack - "Be There Pulse". A) Bet...
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Elite Opinion: June 2006
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006. The Greatest Show On TV. Ighteen characters, fully developed over the course of two seasons by the most complex, intriguing, exhilarating and daring writing that has ever been featured on a television channel. HBO has outdone their already stunning catalogue of groundbreaking work. It is without the slighest bit of hyperbole that I say, this series is not entertainment- it is artwork. Posted by Bleecker at 3:01 PM. Tuesday, June 13, 2006. Ohh for the love of God Nooo! I don’t kn...
