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SILGHAT SHOWBIZ | INDIA EXTRAS

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A doggy-bag of fragments, oddities and left-overs. What does that say? A hand painted sign held great promise; on one side a crude drawing of someone sitting cross-legged holding a stick, on the other a two headed man. It is my duty. Sigh then began to translate. Well, nothing was going to stop the Dog from tasting that magnificence. He loves a visitation. Five rupees. Shiva comes cheap in Silghat. I’ll pay for you, Bongo.’. He shook his head. He was sulking already. Dog launched in to the tent, eager fo...

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MISS JILL | INDIA EXTRAS

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A doggy-bag of fragments, oddities and left-overs. See that, Miss Jill? They’re smoking marijuana.’. Instantly her head went down, her eyes closed and she breathed steadily inward. If she could have pulled a string and folded her ears shut she would have. Drugs were one of her many ‘no-go’ conversational zones but I was in a playful mood, a little tired of her constraints on my chatter. They’re offering you some, Jill, look,’ and indeed they were, smiling broadly, waving at the old man and his mother.

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EASY MONEY | INDIA

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Dogster adrift in the sub-continent. Seven Indian Samurai lolled outside. Hot summer love for temporary rental. Some coiled in the handlebars of someone else’s motorbike, some slouched across their own, one lay like a leopard along the saddle. The rest just stood and looked perfect, casually posed in a photogenic row. It was Muscle McJimmy’s Drive-by. One sexy Samurai smiled at me. He likes you,’ said the shopkeeper. He only likes my big wallet.’. Every boy in Colaba wants to sell me his banana,’ I sighed.

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BONGO FROM BIHAR | INDIA

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Dogster adrift in the sub-continent. Bongo was having a baby in Bihar. His stomach bulged out of his singlet as he sat beside me, splat fat on a Mumbai mat. It was evident he hadn’t washed for a while. He leant over and rested his head on my shoulder, shuddered and started to sob. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with this sudden emotion. I couldn’t give him a reassuring hug he was far too huge for that and anyway, he was leaning on my arm. I decided on manly silence. He wailed, ‘. Did need a wash.

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DINNER WITH THE QUEEN | INDIA

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Dogster adrift in the sub-continent. DINNER WITH THE QUEEN. Said in a plummy London accent, ‘what a bloody nightmare.’. Moaned a voice behind him, ‘I’ve just bumped my head really, really hard.’. These colourful lads had just arrived fresh from London but then Ahilya Fort was the kind of place where people. Fresh from London’. It’s a boutique-y,. Both blithely displayed the aesthetic of their tribe, a range of socks and shorts and hats and shirts that branded them as surely as if they had the words: ‘.

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SAINT SCARLETT | INDIA

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Dogster adrift in the sub-continent. GOOD FRIDAY IN PANJIM. I wanted to see where Scarlett Keeling was murdered. Well, not the. It was a midday slaughter when I sauntered along the main drag at Anjuna Beach. The shopkeepers were barely awake there was nobody around to sell anything to. I was the only thing moving and they could sure see at a glance that I wasn’t their target audience Dogster was just some old fart wandering down the street. There were a few half-heated entreaties, a few ‘. The old Dog no...

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TENT CITY | INDIA

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Dogster adrift in the sub-continent. Bounced across the paddock and sputtered to a halt. How was your festival? Said young Madame Singh. Where is the car? Said Nearly-Singh, the pickled fiancé. Why are you on a motor-scooter? Grandma Singh sat, spat and didn’t say anything but then, she never did. Well, I’ve never seen a family move so fast. Oh, my God! Boy Scout Singh explained it all as they rushed around. He was still talking as they all clambered into their 4WD. Oh, my God! Raju reappeared and walked...

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THE LITTLE PRINCE | INDIA

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Dogster adrift in the sub-continent. You saw the royal blood, the regal demand and pout. It was about all he had left. Prince Richard owned a splendid telescope, mounted on a high wooden tripod. The fittings were brass, polished to a passion of perfection. One princely eye was glued to the glass. He’d had the Dog in his sights all day. Dogster was easy to spot. He was the only white man, the only foreigner and the only man not dressed in orange. Is this one of ours? He said to the housekeeper. Century&#4...