therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com

Captain Dan's Blog

Saturday, August 1, 2015. I understand the difference between warm-blooded and cold-blooded animals, but it's weird when you see ducks swimming in winter. Creek all icy and there's ducks in there. "STOP SWIMMING IN THAT! PUT ON A TOWEL! Bears, too. I understand that most bears are born with gifts but how does a bear just snatch a fish right out of the water all natural? I did once catch a mosquito in the act of biting, but there was no justice. The damage was already done. Also the only time I ever got s...

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Saturday, August 1, 2015. I understand the difference between warm-blooded and cold-blooded animals, but it's weird when you see ducks swimming in winter. Creek all icy and there's ducks in there. STOP SWIMMING IN THAT! PUT ON A TOWEL! Bears, too. I understand that most bears are born with gifts but how does a bear just snatch a fish right out of the water all natural? I did once catch a mosquito in the act of biting, but there was no justice. The damage was already done. Also the only time I ever got s...

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Captain Dan's Blog | therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com Reviews

https://therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com

Saturday, August 1, 2015. I understand the difference between warm-blooded and cold-blooded animals, but it's weird when you see ducks swimming in winter. Creek all icy and there's ducks in there. "STOP SWIMMING IN THAT! PUT ON A TOWEL! Bears, too. I understand that most bears are born with gifts but how does a bear just snatch a fish right out of the water all natural? I did once catch a mosquito in the act of biting, but there was no justice. The damage was already done. Also the only time I ever got s...

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therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com

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Captain Dan's Blog: September 2014

http://therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html

Monday, September 29, 2014. I would like to be guilty of unsportsmanlike conduct. Problem is, I am not good at any sports, and therefore do not play them. I can't play golf, so I will never be in a position to throw a golf club into a lake. I suck at baseball, so I don't get to kick dirt at people that I disagree with. I do not know how to play hockey, and am ALSO bad at fighting. What I AM good at is board games. Do board games count as "sports? This is becoming awkward, let's move on. CHESS is the funn...

2

Captain Dan's Blog: The Lion, the Bitch, and the Horrordrobe

http://therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-lion-bitch-and-horrordrobe.html

Thursday, July 30, 2015. The Lion, the Bitch, and the Horrordrobe. The bitch is the evil dentist. "Horrordrobe" is obviously not a word but I'm on a deadline and couldn't think of anything better.). So obviously this maniac dentist did a terrible thing. There is no reason for me to supply my own personal "take" on it, it was just horrible. (a DENTIST is HIDING.). So instead, let's just talk about some reasons why lions are great. WHITE lions are cool, and also good at music. A fun fact is that lions are ...

3

Captain Dan's Blog: Bad candy tastes bad

http://therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com/2015/06/bad-candy-tastes-bad.html

Thursday, June 25, 2015. Bad candy tastes bad. Who in hell eats Black Twizzlers? Imagine somebody on some streetcorner all like, "I *SWEAR* by these.". Ain't no cinnamon Gummy Worms. Wonder why? NOBODY WOULD EAT THAT. Blow Pop vs Tootsie Pop: What would you rather find in the middle? I like bubble gum! Not me, I prefer a Starburst that tastes bad and is uncomfortably brown.". Does anyone ENJOY eating a CANDY COIN? If so get back at me. IS THERE A KRISPIE VERSION OF THAT? No, no, not that. I mean NERDS.

4

Captain Dan's Blog: May 2015

http://therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com/2015_05_01_archive.html

Sunday, May 24, 2015. Veal: Can't we just fake it? Most people enjoy the delicious taste of veal. Most people also abhor cruelty to animals. Isn't there a happy medium somewhere? Think of Chicken McNuggets. Definitely Mc. Definitely Nuggets. But also not chicken. and nobody cares! Do that with veal, I say. Snooty waiter in a restaurant all like "What can I get for you, majeure? That was supposed to be "Monsieur" but I was too lazy to look up the spelling.). Writing is awesome.). Buffalo wing, duh.".

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Captain Dan's Blog: February 2015

http://therealcaptaindan.blogspot.com/2015_02_01_archive.html

Sunday, February 15, 2015. Dear all mattress salesmen: CALM DOWN. They never address pee stains. I don't pee in my bed and I bet most other people don't either but shouldn't that be a major selling point when you are trying to get somebody to buy an expensive MATTRESS? Some people have incorrect bladders. I am in no position to tell you how to do your job but seek them out and take advantage, mattress salesman. Do I have to do EVERYTHING for you? Mattresses do not hurt, that's the whole point of them.

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Saturday, August 1, 2015. I understand the difference between warm-blooded and cold-blooded animals, but it's weird when you see ducks swimming in winter. Creek all icy and there's ducks in there. "STOP SWIMMING IN THAT! PUT ON A TOWEL! Bears, too. I understand that most bears are born with gifts but how does a bear just snatch a fish right out of the water all natural? I did once catch a mosquito in the act of biting, but there was no justice. The damage was already done. Also the only time I ever got s...

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