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this is not what i had planned

This is not what i had planned. Saturday, September 1, 2012. Thursday, September 1, 2011. No cemetary, no grave, no hilltop or ocean to call your own. Just a shelf in my bedroom and, today, a table front in the entryway, that say you were here. And we celebrate her. And then the quiet. Eventhough it is a mere 72 hours later, even today, as I saw the date, August 31, I still found myself stunned. And now it's today. Today marks the fourth year that you have not lived the life you should have had. No parti...

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this is not what i had planned | thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com Reviews
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This is not what i had planned. Saturday, September 1, 2012. Thursday, September 1, 2011. No cemetary, no grave, no hilltop or ocean to call your own. Just a shelf in my bedroom and, today, a table front in the entryway, that say you were here. And we celebrate her. And then the quiet. Eventhough it is a mere 72 hours later, even today, as I saw the date, August 31, I still found myself stunned. And now it's today. Today marks the fourth year that you have not lived the life you should have had. No parti...
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this is not what i had planned | thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com Reviews

https://thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com

This is not what i had planned. Saturday, September 1, 2012. Thursday, September 1, 2011. No cemetary, no grave, no hilltop or ocean to call your own. Just a shelf in my bedroom and, today, a table front in the entryway, that say you were here. And we celebrate her. And then the quiet. Eventhough it is a mere 72 hours later, even today, as I saw the date, August 31, I still found myself stunned. And now it's today. Today marks the fourth year that you have not lived the life you should have had. No parti...

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thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com
1

this is not what i had planned: September 2009

http://thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html

This is not what i had planned. Friday, September 18, 2009. Wrote great posts this week about life after and perspective and how us db moms are seen through the eyes of the world. It struck me in the reading, how irked I get when people gloss over the grief, the whole process of grief. You may ask.because her baby died and that is what db moms do. We wander the earth seeking out other pg moms who must be carrying our db and then we slice them open and take what is rightfully ours.sighs. I think from the ...

2

this is not what i had planned: October 2009

http://thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html

This is not what i had planned. Thursday, October 22, 2009. Now, of course, those questions trigger the inner dialog in my head. The 'outloud' answer and the 'inside voice' answer. And for me, even more sensitive to the ever prying nature of those questions is the age gap between my daughter and Cason. 7 years to those looking in from the outside. And I can see them wondering and wanting to ask was Cason an oops baby. Will I ever figure out how to answer those damn questions? Monday, October 19, 2009.

3

this is not what i had planned: September 2012

http://thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html

This is not what i had planned. Saturday, September 1, 2012. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. Things you can do for your baby and you. Taxes and Dead Babies.ugh. Certificate of Stillbirth (CA). Friends who are walking with me. Olive Lucy and Always will. Dead Baby Keepsake Jewelry. More Dead Baby Jewelry. Http:/ babylossdirectory.blogspot.com/. Things that I didn't want to know.about Stillbirth. Http:/ www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi? For Dead Baby Dads. Dad's Coping with Loss.

4

this is not what i had planned: April 2010

http://thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html

This is not what i had planned. Monday, April 26, 2010. Cara at Building Heavenly Bridges. Is gearing up for SHARE Southern Vermont's second annual Memory Walk. They have created a beautiful T-Shirt for the event. The shirts are available for purchase on her site. Go over and have a look. I'll bet you don't leave without picking up one (or more) for yourself:). I left with 5! Sunday, April 4, 2010. But, if you really want some serious Easter Hilarity, hop over to Aunt Becky's. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom).

5

this is not what i had planned: 5 Years

http://thisisnotwhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/2012/09/5-years.html

This is not what i had planned. Saturday, September 1, 2012. Im so glad you came here to share your thoughts on what five years means to you and your family. I think of you often, and your dear boy Caleb is so missed. 9/1/12, 3:42 AM. Wow, just wow. Five is a rally odd place to be, isnt it. Its as if so much more has happened than I ever dreamed possible, and yet theres still such a long way to go. I think about you all the time, and Caleb of course. Youre all in my thoughts this week. 9/1/12, 6:47 PM.

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lostsadmama.blogspot.com lostsadmama.blogspot.com

A Little Bit Lost: April 2009

http://lostsadmama.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

A Little Bit Lost. Very lost actually.after my darling boy was born still at 29 weeks. Saturday, April 18, 2009. A drawing.from a photo.the one that I got for Xmas.of my most beautiful beloved first son Noah. I have never before showed you an image of my sweetheart. Then a photo of Morgan at about 2-3 weeks old.we (my husband, parents etc) could not believe how similiar they are. They look so peaceful and sleepy. My god even now. I just skip the sad bits and pretend all is good. Is there anybody OUT THERE.

lostsadmama.blogspot.com lostsadmama.blogspot.com

A Little Bit Lost: Time flys when you miss someone

http://lostsadmama.blogspot.com/2010/11/time-flys-when-you-miss-someone.html

A Little Bit Lost. Very lost actually.after my darling boy was born still at 29 weeks. Tuesday, November 2, 2010. Time flys when you miss someone. Another year missing, wondering, wishing. Happy 3rd birthday my beautiful boy. No words just tears. Happy 3rd Birthday little Noah man. So much love to you Ange, as you pass another year without him. November 3, 2010 at 9:42 AM. Remembering Noah with you today. Im so sorry for the loss of your special child. November 3, 2010 at 12:59 PM. The story so far.

timeisatease.blogspot.com timeisatease.blogspot.com

Time is a Tease: May 2011

http://timeisatease.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html

Time is a Tease. At the 5-month mark of grieving the loss of our baby boy, Salvatore, I remembered the quote "Time is a tease. Time is a tease because everything happens in it's own time" - Andre Breton. This is my way to fill the time (that doesn't seem to move fast enough) out of grief. Thursday, May 19, 2011. Drinking from the cup of joy. My cup doth over runneth. If you told me that I would give birth to an angel 3 and 1/2 years ago, would I have believed you? And, yet, with you, I did. If you told m...

lostsadmama.blogspot.com lostsadmama.blogspot.com

A Little Bit Lost: November 2010

http://lostsadmama.blogspot.com/2010_11_01_archive.html

A Little Bit Lost. Very lost actually.after my darling boy was born still at 29 weeks. Tuesday, November 2, 2010. Time flys when you miss someone. Another year missing, wondering, wishing. Happy 3rd birthday my beautiful boy. No words just tears. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. The story so far. I find myself pregnant for the 7th time.due in June 2010. 3 precious children - 2 with me and 1 stillborn son and some early miscarriages have made this one hell of a journey. The virus comm...

lostsadmama.blogspot.com lostsadmama.blogspot.com

A Little Bit Lost: December 2009

http://lostsadmama.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

A Little Bit Lost. Very lost actually.after my darling boy was born still at 29 weeks. Monday, December 14, 2009. Mid January we will have the next scan and yes we will be finding out the sex . as Anthony said a couple of nights ago. "I need to know. I need to know everything"! Thanks for your well wishes its much appreciated. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. The story so far. I find myself pregnant for the 7th time.due in June 2010. My Dead Baby Besties. Amy and Baby William Henry.

lostsadmama.blogspot.com lostsadmama.blogspot.com

A Little Bit Lost: April 2010

http://lostsadmama.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html

A Little Bit Lost. Very lost actually.after my darling boy was born still at 29 weeks. Friday, April 23, 2010. Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). View my complete profile. The story so far. I find myself pregnant for the 7th time.due in June 2010. 3 precious children - 2 with me and 1 stillborn son and some early miscarriages have made this one hell of a journey. My gorgeous and much loved first son Noah was stillborn on Nov 3 2007 and we miss him more than I can say. My Dead Baby Besties. Ashleigh and Baby Owen.

whichbox.blogspot.com whichbox.blogspot.com

Which Box?: March 2010

http://whichbox.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

Which box do I check today? Wednesday, March 17, 2010. Blah, blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah. blahblahblah blah. blahblah blah blah! Blahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah? Blahblah blahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah! Blahblahblah blahblahblah, blahblah blah, blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah. What's new in your world? Amalah . c...

whichbox.blogspot.com whichbox.blogspot.com

Which Box?: Blah

http://whichbox.blogspot.com/2010/03/blah.html

Which box do I check today? Wednesday, March 17, 2010. Blah, blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah. blahblahblah blah. blahblah blah blah! Blahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah? Blahblah blahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah! Blahblahblah blahblahblah, blahblah blah, blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah. What's new in your world? The way I shak...

whichbox.blogspot.com whichbox.blogspot.com

Which Box?: October 2009

http://whichbox.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html

Which box do I check today? Friday, October 23, 2009. Two years, and this is my 300th post. A lot has happened in two years. A hell of a lot. A solid year of either really, really bad or merely mostly bad. An uptick starting about with the arrival of the little guy. A messily defined period of time. I think often about this marriage self help book I read years ago, where a woman wrote that in recovering from infidelity she had cried every day for two years. Rather than what you thought was. Discovering e...

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this is not what i had planned

This is not what i had planned. Saturday, September 1, 2012. Thursday, September 1, 2011. No cemetary, no grave, no hilltop or ocean to call your own. Just a shelf in my bedroom and, today, a table front in the entryway, that say you were here. And we celebrate her. And then the quiet. Eventhough it is a mere 72 hours later, even today, as I saw the date, August 31, I still found myself stunned. And now it's today. Today marks the fourth year that you have not lived the life you should have had. No parti...

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This Is Not What You Had Planned

This Is Not What You Had Planned. When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place. Wow it just keeps getting better and better😳😍. It really is true. I never thought I’d see the day when an entertainment news source commented on a relationship with a minor and adult as wrong AND also not blame it on the minor, but 100% on the adult. You go, VH1. Happy birthday, Jared! 90% o...

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