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Fugetaboutit!!!: November 2005

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005. I simply remember my favorite things.and then I don't get.in trouble. Last night I was in Tower Records and I overheard the following conversation between a young couple. In Living Color is out on DVD! We’re not getting that. Why not it’s only twenty bucks? Because if we get that you’ll want to watch it and then I’ll have to watch it and I don’t want to watch it. Oh you are not getting a copy of the Sound of Music. It’s the 40th Anniversary Special Edition. The honeymoon pha...

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Fugetaboutit!!!: To sing, or not to sing: that is the question.

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009. To sing, or not to sing: that is the question. Have you ever had one of those moments where a tune or song gets stuck in your head and you just can’t get it out? Of course you have. So here’s the deal. I’m on another diet. I’m always on a damn diet. There’s a certain time after I’ve started a new diet where I tend to get a little. oh I don’t know. psycho. It’s usually when I wake up and lasts the whole damn day. I cannot be responsible for my actions when I’m dieting. But we’ve ...

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Fugetaboutit!!!: August 2005

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Monday, August 29, 2005. I see dead Cartwrights. and pretty colors. Here's a sentence I'll bet none of you have ever heard before. I'm redecorating the downstairs and you are not going to be involved in choosing the colors because you have "Ponderosa" taste.". My wife is going to remodel and pick out the colors by herself. My living room is going to end up looking like a float in the gay pride parade. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But that's just me. How can she say I have Ponderosa taste?

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Fugetaboutit!!!: Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. ~ George Scialabba

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Friday, November 13, 2009. Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. George Scialabba. Skittle's Pool Hall, Eight Ball speaking. You should not be allowed to have caller ID. I think something’s wrong with John. He didn’t get the flu did he? No It’s well He’s talking to himself. All three year olds talk to themselves. Yeah but dad he’s having actual arguments. He’s arguing with himself. He takes both sides of the argument and battles it out with himself. Uh I got nothing. Dad you have to see it.

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Fugetaboutit!!!: July 2005

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Sunday, July 31, 2005. The Miracle of Bookstar. This is a long one. There's an unwritten law in my house. Never under any circumstance am I allowed to touch my wife's romance novels. So I spilled a protein shake on my wife's romance novel yesterday. The damn thing was on the dining room table, opened up face down to save her page while she was at the gym. My first reaction was to run to the sink with the book and wash it off and then throw it in the dryer with beach towels. Do you know the author's name?

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Fugetaboutit!!!: My Comeback.......

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Friday, October 08, 2010. I’m writing today for the sake of writing. To try to jump start any semblance of my sense of humor. I stopped writing when I just didn’t feel the funny. I quit performing three months ago. Oh I was still funny on stage but I wasn’t funny inside. And even if the audience doesn’t know it as a comedian you feel it in your performance. 2010 sucked the funny out of me. Those are the positive thinkers. There’s an old saying that says Positive thinkers grease the axle of the world.

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Fugetaboutit!!!: January 2006

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006. Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Scotland anymore. I have done some stupid things in my life. Still reigning as undefeated champion of stupid is when I thought my grandmother’s enema bag was a Scottish bagpipe. I don’t want to talk about it. I was only eight. I still have flashbacks of that story being told every Thanksgiving. I still can’t watch Braveheart because of it. The most current stupid thing I have done is wrench my back. That happens when you get older. When you...

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Fugetaboutit!!!: Two short ones.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009. Here are two of my favorite things I’ve heard this week. The first comes from my three year old grandson John. Hey pal did you have fun today? I went to the beach Poppa. Did you have fun at the beach? I got sand in my balls. The second comes from a conversation I overheard between two older women in line at the pharmacy. My granddaughter wants me to get with the times. She wants to set me up with a Face lift account. She wants to pay for you to get a face lift? If you Can't Run.

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Fugetaboutit!!!: In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two Columbus......

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010. In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two Columbus. Sometimes it just takes a word or a phrase to make you pause. And then pause again. and think to yourself, Huh? Yesterday morning I had to go to the Post Office. Because of Monday’s holiday the line was even longer than usual. There were more than 30 people in line and none of us was thrilled to be there. People were complaining about how slow the service was and the usual stuff about lousy service at the Post Office. Or maybe I ha...